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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Baby due next month, I KNOW I will be a 'shy' breastfeeder' any tips on...

55 replies

Hopeitwontbebig · 22/08/2007 13:38

clothes or ways to 'cover up' or do it discreetly? I don't want to

a) end up spending most of my time in my bedroom and

b) even worse, give up before I've even started.

It's a personal thing with me, I REALLY won't feel comfortable doing it in front of in-laws etc. Don't mind friends or DH so much, but family eugh.

Sorry

I posted on hear months ago about my 'issues' re breastfeeding. SO SO SO SO want to make a success of it this time.

OP posts:
pastalady · 22/08/2007 20:38

Simply tie a muslin square on your bra-strap when you feed. They are so useful for moping up milk, comforters, blankets and that too.

Google 101 reasons to breastfeed, read about all the good things it can do for you and your baby and whenever you feel rattled, think about them and feel proud of yourself for sticking to your guns and doing something that is important to you, even if it feels hard.

Know that every day it will feel more and more natural and normal to BF. You start of feeling self-concious about it, but then it just starts to feel so normal that you dont even think about it anymore.

Find a local BF club. Surestart often run them. Meet other mums that BF.

Remember that bottle feeding has been around for less than a century and breastfeeding has been done since the dawn of the human race millions and millions of years ago - so you should never feel unatural to be doing it.

Know that whilst some babies BF like a dream from the start, others take time to learn and BF can feel hard at the start. But as long as you resolve any problems and get help if you need it, it get's easier and easier and most women find it a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Good luck and don't worry. Your feelings are normal. If you are determined to do it. Harness that and you will have every chance of success. I dreaded BF infront of MIL and dad. When it came down to it, MIL who never breastfed commented on how lovely it looked which was a real booster and I didn't even notice dad was there!

MaeWest · 22/08/2007 20:40

One thing I did on about day 2 or 3 when I felt a bit inhibited feeding in front of my brothers was to turn my chair round so I was facing away from them. Meant I could join in the conversation. Can't believe I did now as comfortable feeding pretty much anywhere

MaeWest · 22/08/2007 20:43

Also, the first time I bf outside the house was when DS was about 6 weeks old (too knackered/spaced out to go before!) and was at my best mates house who was 7 months pg. She watched me latch him on and said how relaxed I looked with him which really made me

Tipex · 22/08/2007 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KashaSarrasin · 22/08/2007 20:47

If you've got a digital camera, get someone to take some photos of you bfing (once you've latched the baby on!) - it's amazing how little flesh you're actually exposing even when it feels like you're flashing everyone!!! I think seeing this from the "audience"'s point of view will really help your confidence

Chirpygirl · 22/08/2007 20:49

Definately recommend a sling for hiding in, a ring sling is good as you can use the 'tail' to hide.
I helped test this product which was great when I was getting used to BFing, basically a poncho type top that I used to latch on and then I could whip off when I was arranged.

Also, feed in front of a mirror so you can see exactly what others can see, it is surprisingly little so might give you a bit more confidence.

ib · 22/08/2007 20:49

NK, I had ds lying in the sling the usual way, and just positioned him so he was at the right height (sling a bit looser than usual).

I had one of those where you can tighten the edges, so quite adjustable, but have seen others do it with simple ring slings too.

mollymawk · 22/08/2007 21:01

The thing is, it may take a couple of weeks (or even a few) to get you and the baby used to how it all works and in that case it may be better to hide away to start with so that you can concentrate on the feeding rather than worrying about what anyone else is thinking.
Once it is getting a bit less stressful in itself and you want to venture into the public gaze I recommend muslins, muslins, muslins (actually for everything else too).

Original poster
Hopeitwontbebig · 23/08/2007 15:42

Where's the best place to buy muslins? They seem so expensive in Mothercare!

OP posts:
Original poster
Hopeitwontbebig · 23/08/2007 15:42

Meant to add, you've made me feel more normal having these worries, thank you.

OP posts:
bcsnowpea · 23/08/2007 16:02

I always felt comfortable bf at home, even with visitors (hey, if they're coming into my home, they have to deal with it, though really the only uncomfortable person was my brother). At first, I would take ebm when going out, but a VERY hungry, demanding, screaming baby put an end to any shyness. It's a feeding mechanism, if you have to feed them, you HAVE to feed them, and I won't be ashamed of nourishing my baby.

bananabump · 23/08/2007 16:50

ds is two weeks old, I think I commented on your previous thread as I felt the same, absolutely horrified at the thought of anyone but dp seeing my boobs, however I have to say that since having baby, about ten people have seen/fiddled with my boobs whilst in hospital (they all asked permission first) and I've fed in front of most of my family/mil. The only time I went off upstairs was when all my family were in the same room and I didn't want to be stared at by the younger kids while I got baby latched on.

I just found the best thing to do was say loudly "I'll put this blanket over him a sec, I'm still new at this, can't do it without exposing a boob!" and people don't mind at all. They certainly don't look/stare cos they know what you're doing. One I have him latched on I drop the blanket/muslin but keep it to hand in case he decides to look round.

Original poster
Hopeitwontbebig · 23/08/2007 17:13

Thanks for posting bananabump, I'm SO glad you're getting on ok with BF

Congrats x

OP posts:
harryruby · 23/08/2007 17:24

best place to buy muslins is asda.really cheap and you can gat pink,blue or white. cant remember the price (braincells still recovering from childbirth!)

Difers · 23/08/2007 20:35

I had a Huggyababy sling, it comes with a CD of how to use it but basically if you have the ring over the left shoulder and the babys head near to the right upper arm and you can feed from the right boob quite discreetly, it's big enough to hide latch faff aswell, but I found it a bit hot to wear in summer.

Psychobabble · 23/08/2007 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocbutton · 23/08/2007 21:22

I made sure I went to 'child friendly' places at first (got a booklet from a mums magazine with listings for my area), and had my mum with me for moral support - she also got the coffees in, picked up things I dropped, moved the pram etc etc, so I felt comfortable and shielded. Also went early in the day, so it wasn't busy. It does get much easier, and now I have BF all over the place, in shops, restaurants, parks, and in front of family (even my dad)- you do get used to it, and become much more adept at doing it discretely. Echo other posters muslin cloths as brilliant, and the vest pulled down, t-shirt pulled up combo. Also found that I now don't care what anyone thinks anymore, I am feeding my precious baby, if they have a problem then look away. Good luck!

absandme · 23/08/2007 21:25

I know there are loadsa responses here but thought I'd add mine too!!! sorry its long...

When I was pregnant the thought of breast feeding freaked me out but thought I'd try & be open minded (that was my self reassurance). My first attempt to latch on was with a really good midwife but the second midwife wasn't so good & could have put me off but didn't!
As for trying infront of anyone that was a nightmare but I think it was me that felt shy & it didn't & still doesn't bother anyone.
My mother in law also looked down her nose at me but I though hey .... it's my baby girl & I can do it & it's fab!! To wind her up I used to not make much effort at being discreate & still flash my boobs 7.5months later!!
What can she say?? If she doesn't like it she doesn't have to watch!
My husband took a photo of me when I was feeding & I was really suprised that you couldn't see anything, the other thing is people tend to look away when you first latch on ... don't let it worry you.

Any problems speak to a bf group, they are great & also I dealt with an nct bf counseller as I eventually had problems but nothing that couldn't be sorted! It took days to pluck up courage to phone them but that was me being daft & I reccommend anyone with bf probs to contact someone as they are great & know their stuff!

As for your user name, I love it!! My tip for that is PUSH LIKE HELL!!!

EllieK · 23/08/2007 21:25

I use a coorie pouch sling and wear a mamaway nursing top when I want to feed very discretely. the pouch holds baby at just the right level and the top has vertical slits so no one can see anything at all

Yurtgirl · 23/08/2007 21:26

I havent read the thread but I have the same issues as you Hope

Avoid special bf tops imo - they are boring to look at and expensive. I found they made me far more self conscious and they exposed more boob

Good luck with bf!!!

determination · 23/08/2007 22:55

i have a baba sling and also nursing tops from H&M and Breastfeeding Heaven the Kaj and Jenna tops are best for use with a sling ABSOLUTELY nothing is in view whilst feeding.

determination · 23/08/2007 22:58

Yurtgirl,

I would have to TOTALLY DISAGREE with your comments regarding BFing tops. My dd2 is nearly 6 months and i have only used BFing tops this time - i am ssoooo much more confident feeding in public purely because nothing at all is on show. With my dd1 i just wore normal tops which meant yanking them up and showing flesh i was uneasy and uncomfortable with this.

MaryJB · 23/08/2007 23:16

I have the Kaj top in red - which doesn't look so bad, the colour is really bold! - "checkout this page"
But a friend mentione the mamoflage cape - anyone got one?
Any good?

BABYBUFF205 · 29/08/2009 13:09

I bought some stunning red top from Mother wear clothing Here" I love it so much now that my son is born i wanna keep wearing it as its so comforable.

notcitrus · 29/08/2009 13:19

I found getting out and about was vital for my sanity, and in the early days going somewhere with a baby feeding room made me more confident. By 6 weeks I told myself that cafes needed customers in a recession and managed to feed with my baby on a table. And indeed the cafe owner said please come back!

re family - maybe ask MIL to go make you a cuppa/do the dishes/just give you some space while you get the little one latched on - tell her the baby gets distracted easily?

I found I was way more self-conscious with a crying baby, so figured bf was a way to stop people staring at me, iyswim...