Desperately desperately need bf advice

[firsttimemummatobella]

I’m at the end of my tether...

My beautiful dd is almost 3 weeks old and I have struggled with bf from the start.
I have been unable to get the perfect latch meaning my nipple on one boob has huge chunks out of it and is absolute agony when she feeds. I went to a LLL support group and the consultant hugely helped but I cannot seem to recreate what she showed me at home.
Last night I think I started with the symptoms of mastitis in the bad boob making everything 10 times worse.
I have been in floods of tears all day agonising over what to do.
I am spending all day in a state of permanent anxiety over feeding and it is all I think about. Feel like I am missing out enjoying these first few weeks because I’m so stressed out.
I guess what I’m looking for is opinions as to what I should do...change to formula? Try expressing? Suck it up and carry on (probably cannot do this)?
Even the thought of changing to formula is making me feel like an utter failure that I can’t do what should come naturally but I really can’t carry on like this.
Any advice would be hugely appreciated!

Also, OP, do not take the advice about waking DD in the day to be less well rested so she sleeps at night, it's a load of carp!

These days are really hard OP! Good advice on here.

It gets easier but equally sometimes stopping is the right thing to do - don't push on if you're miserable. Loads of us have been there, it's just the luck of the draw.

Emily Oster's book cribsheet has a good chapter on bf evidence, studies show it helps reduce illness in babies a bit and cancer risk in mums but it's not some magical elixir!

Have you seen someone about the mastitis? I got it when my boy was 3 weeks old, and it turned into an abscess that burst. The things that got me through were paracetamol, ibuprofen, alternate hot and cold packs for the pain. Lots of distraction for me during feeds. Cabbage leaves were weird but kind of soothing. And yes to the cluster feeding being totally normal, and tough on you. Hang in there. Hope things get easier for you soon

Second the advice to get the tongue tie really properly checked - I have experience checking for them in a professional capacity at work and yet when both my babies were born (and to my eyes had stonkingly obvious tongue ties) I was fobbed off by the midwives. I asked for a referral to the hospital feeding specialist midwife and lo and behold in both cases they were found to have pretty significant tongue ties.

Have you had any luck getting hold of anyone today?

Hi op, you're doing amazingly. The first few weeks are tough.
Get some hydrogel breast pads. They're absolute game changers with healing sore nipples. I got mine from amazon but you can get them in mothercare etc. To help in the immediate time try smothering nipples in lanolin (can get in asda/Tesco if you don't already have them) and covering with cling film - it'll stop the raw bits drying then cracking between feeds.

Meanwhile give shields a try. They can help hugely.

I also recommend getting assessed for tongue tie again.

Best of luck. Formula isn't poison, if that's what you need to do then do it - I persevered with my first and spent the 9 months I fed her resenting it and hating every touched out second. The second time around the hydrogel pads stopped the pain almost immediately and it was much easier!

Also feeds lots on the sore /mastitis side!

I can't comment on the mastitis as I've never suffered from it but cluster feeding is very normal.
I got to about 5 weeks and was so exhausted and tearful I got my husband to try to give a bottle if expressed milk , which he didn't take but he managed to settle him long enough for me to have a few hours completely uninterrupted. Miraculously the next day he seemed to stop being quite so needy. 6 weeks is definitely a turning point with the time between feeds generally stretching out. Although you'll still have the odd day stuck all day in the sofa feeding!
I coslept until he was about 1 every night even in hospital and it really helped with me being able to rest even if I couldn't sleep amazingly. And my son just latched on and off when he wanted so there was never any crying in the night or having to settle him.
Maybe if you can see a doctor and get some thing to treat the mastitis things might not seem so bad? There's no shame in giving formula if breastfeeding doesn't workout x

You can find a lactation consultant most easily just by googling the phrase and your area. They all have websites.

A lot of this sounds really normal for the early weeks- cluster feeding, not knowing day from night etc. It's tough but generally short lived. However I would also strongly urge you to get baby properly assessed for tongue tie! I'm a midwife and I am pretty good because I have a personal interest in it, but most of us are not trained to look!

Have a look at the association of tongue tie practitioners site. Most of them are also lactation consultants. You really need some expert help to get things on the right track!