How do you stop your baby loving the breast?

[muffles]

My breastfed 8 month old dd is being weaned into a bottle as I am going back to work in 1 1/2 months. She refuses to take a bottle from me but my dh is managing to give her a 6oz bottle before he goes to work to start the process. However about 1/2 hour after this feed my dd still wants the breast and pulls at my clothes and nuzzles, getting really distressed . If I put her down, or try to distract her, she gets even more anxious and crys for about 30 mins. There have been some mornings that out of frusration/tiredness/guilt I have given her a breast feed which relaxes her straight away.
However, I end up feeling awful, as I know I am giving her mixed messages, but nothing else seems to work.
I am hoping to start giving her a bottle for one of her daytime feeds next week but feel totally stressed at the thought of not being able to cope with her obvious anxiety at stopping breast feeding.Any ideas before I turn into one big basket case?!

Muffles, do you really want to stop breast feeding completely? Could you not continue breast feeding before you go to work and then again in the evening when you return home? Their is no reason why you can't mix breast with bottle. I did it with my ds and dd when I returned to work. Your body adjusts to producing the amount of milk you need.

Muffles, lots of sympathy. I've just gone back to work and DS is now 9mths. He still doesn't like the bottle much, and has taken about 4oz max during the day while I'm away. If you look back at some of the older threads, you'll see I was quite worried as well - see here . But was assured by people here that given his age, DS would cope well on more solids and liquids while I was away and that has turned out to be the case. Luckily he will drink water so I am not too worried about dehydration - does your DD take water or juice? When I am at home I feed normally and he has at least two daytime feeds, but he seems to cope well when I am not there. Plus, by 10mths all the books say you should be down to about 3 feeds a day. If I were you at this stage, I would just keep on feeding her normally - I don't think she will get too confused. And at least she is taking a bottle - a big plus! If you want to give a bottle a day to make sure she keeps taking it, fine, but I wouldn't then deny her the breast, unless you get worried that she is not taking enough solids and is getting too much milk.

I'm sorry to say time is really the only solution (or so we found!). It does get better, I promise (I remember when we were incredibly happy if dd took 1oz from bottle), but to be honest I found dd was never super super happy with the bottle until I totally gave up b/f (but that's no reason to give up).

Here's a few suggestions that sort of worked for us:

• variflow latex teats, orthodontic shaped (mothercare do them)
• disposable steribottles (much softer teat)
• give her a raisin to chew
• feed her the bottle outside
• water the bottle milk down (but keep aware of how much she is drinking!)
• if she likes water/juice from cup try this in bottle when she doesn't need milk feed
• if she takes water from cup, try milk from cup instead of bottle
• if you're giving formula rather than EBM, try a taste test to get one that tastes OK to you
• get into a rhythm of not b/f at certain feed so you don't get letdown which dd can smell
• put perfume on your neck so she smells this instead of you and breastmilk
• supposedly cherry shaped dummies help, but not for us!

Giving in and feeding her probably does make it worse - she can't possibly need the milk just after 6oz bottle so try going out somewhere you'd be embarrased breastfeeding so you aren't tempted.

Good luck...

Muffles - why do you want to introduce bottles at all. Your dd will be able to drink from a feeder cup if she is thirsty and you should be able to go to work in 1 1/2 months time without her needing any milk feeds. You could B/F her in the morning before you go to work and B/F her when you are at home. On the days you are at home feed her when she wants.
I would certainly not distress yourself or her needlessly in these precious weeks you have left prior to going back to work. Feed her when she wants when you are there. You will be amazed how babies adjust when mums are not there to feed them. She will adapt and survive, honestly

Thanks for all your top tips so far. It's lovely to get feedback and advice. Philippat,did you give a raisin to stop her wanting a suckle?

Oh, don't stop yet! When you're not there things will be different. At the moment it's like asking her not to eat cake while waving a big cake at her! And if she won't drink a lot of milk while you're at work, it's honestly not a big deal. If you can feed her morning and night that's fine. She'll drink from a sippy cup if she's thirsty and can eat yoghurt etc instead. She may even surprise you by drinking really well. I'd agree with whoever said don't bother with bottles at all, and even more with the wise person who said not to let this issue cloud your precious last six weeks with your baby. Anyway, in six weeks she'll be nearly 10months, which is when my ds unexpectedly stopped wanting his night feed and happily swapped my bosom for an Avent soft-spout during the day. And we're both very happy to carry on with our cuddly morning feed for the foreseeable and he's 11months. Relax, enjoy and keep on feeding if it makes you both happy.

Oh, the wise person was Mears. What a surprise!

I agree with Aloha and Mears. If I go out for a day and leave dd with dh, she won't even drink ebm, just water from a cup (her choice) and only remembers that she wants bf when I come back through the door. I was so worried that she'd be dehydrated, but she was absolutely fine and dh said she drinks loads of water when I'm not there instead. Good luck and enjoy your last weeks - once you're back at work you may find that bf is fantastic as it allows you to instantly bond with her and have quality time with her at the end of every day after you've been apart and had a hectic day.

yes i'm with mears. When I went back to work at 11 mo. I cut out the daytime feeds and substituted them with a sippee cup with water. My son only ever had a bottle when he spent an evening with the childminder, so I never had to worry about weaning him off a bottle. I went back to work quite suddenly (interview on friday, started on monday), so I didn't have any opportunity to prepare my ds for the cutting out of the daytime feeds. For the first few weeks, although he was fine with the childminder during the week, he would still insist on daytime feeds on the weekends, but eventually forgot about those. I still continued to give him a morning and night feed until he was 15 mo. or so. Anyway, hopefully, all the posts have made you feel a little less anxious about going back to work and hopefully you won't feel that you have to give up the bfing altogether.

All the advice so far has really helped and I have decided to do what feels right rather than feel pressured into a certain route. The worry started when I took dd for her 8 month check last week. My GP said it would be cruel to expect her to take a bottle without prior practice and put her into a new environment(ie nursery) at the same time and would add to her stress. It's funny how a comment like that makes you panic and although i'm sure that wasn't the GP's intention, iv'e spent a whole week really worried and down about it. Now thanks to everyone who has taken the time to share their thoughts I am 'going with the flow'( no pun intended!) and feel 100% better about the whole thing.