Painful breastfeeding still at 12 weeks - long post alert!

[Willr024]

Sorry in advance for the long post...

My son is now 12 weeks old and I've had very painful breastfeeding throughout. He had a tongue tie division at 7 weeks which has made a difference for him with his tongue movement but no difference at all with my pain. As a result of the tongue tie he has a high palate and a strong gag reflex. This causes him to have trouble getting a deep latch - I've tried the flipple, laid back bf-ing, sandwich technique etc. but each time he will gag and not be able to latch or if on the odd occasion he does manage to latch deeply, will pull back so he's nipple feeding again. Every feed is painful throughout and it gets worse the longer he feeds for. Cluster feeding in the evenings leaves me in tears. Oh, and as a result of a shallow latch, I get very painful vasospasms afterwards too, so even when he's off, I'm still in pain. I have a fast let down too which causes him to cough and splutter on most feeds.

His weight is above the 91st centile so there's no worries about his intake - he's just worked a way to get milk that's comfortable for him, but unfortunately excruciating for me.

I've had 1:1 support and advice from a breastfeeding expert via the health visitors who has told me that she's exhausted her toolbox and has no more suggestions for me. Problem is, I'm 100% set on bf-ing and really wanted to do it for at least a year so am not emotionally ready to stop bf-ing - what if something suddenly changes as he grows and for the sake of a couple of weeks I could have long term pain free feeding?! Nothing about the birth went to plan and I had no control over most of his first week and bf-ing is something I can control, except for managing the intense pain at each feed.

I had one day where I needed to explore other options, for the sake of my mental health so tried expressing and bottle feeding and he struggled to take the bottle (I know this is to be expected and that I would need to persevere with this and explore other bottle teats if this was the route I went down).

I'm so set on breastfeeding so what I'm basically asking for is whether anyone has experienced similar, had any miraculous changes re: pain or latch depth as their little ones grew or whether it's just a case of me hanging in there with the pain for as long as I can manage?

Sorry for the long post!

We had this when wee guy got to about 4 months old it got far better. Still feeding now hes 2. Nothing really changed apart from his mouth got bigger. He never got his tounge tie done has he was 8 months when discovered.

Congratulations on your LO
The first weeks of BF can be so, so tough. My DD didn't have a tongue tie but did have a high palate/some restriction of the tongue which meant she did have quite a shallow latch for a long time. It was predominantly pain free by 12ish weeks though. I don't think you should be struggling on with so much pain- I know you've seen a Breastfeeding specialist through your HV, but i think it would be worth seeking a lbclc lactation consultant. They may just have a different perspective and have some more suggestions. I saw a lovely one who did a really in depth assessment and suggested some cranial osteopathy, she showed me some easy home exercises too to help release the tension in my DD neck and jaw. I didn't take her for the osteopathy but did the exercises which i think did help.

Are you managing to get out and about with your son? Have you been to any BF support groups? They saved my mental health and it was great to meet women who had been through similar situations.

Thank you for your swift replies.

That's good to know that there's still a chance it'll just get better by itself. Got my fingers crossed for that. It's amazing what you'll put up with for the sake of your baby but I wish I didn't have to. Not sure how sustainable it is long term but I'm not quite emotionally ready to move away from EBF just yet. Ho hum. I never knew I could be so stubborn!

Yeah I've been to a support group but might need to try another one/speaking to someone else who's qualified like you said. I found at the group that the women who'd been through similar found their pain and difficulties resolved earlier or following the TT division. Made me feel worse that I was still struggling, and seeing them feeding and feeling comfortable with it made me feel a bit down.

I've read about cranial osteopathy but was deterred due to the lack of evidence base. But I do hear a lot of anecdotal evidence re: improvement following it/related techniques like you said. Looks like I'll have to have another look into it, thank you.

Have you tried nipple shields? This was the only way my baby was able to BF.

I did manage to use them with him when he was 6/7 weeks old but found that they didn't help my pain (probably because of the extent of my nipple trauma it'll take a while to see a benefit) but when I tried them again last week he gagged on them and couldn't use them 🙁
Might be worth another go though if it'll help me bf him for longer. Thank you for the suggestion/reminder

Are you sure the TT was divided fully or hasn't reattached?
It's disappointing that the support you received has basically given up. It often has to be just reposition, reposition, reposition (and perhaps hand express off the letdown first)

We were told it was a good division at the time and he seems to have good movement still. Maybe I'll try ringing the hospital for a follow up just incase. Thank you :)

I had the exact same issues, my nipples were an absolute mess, my LO was just lazy and had a rubbish latch. I used nipple shields till 4 months and then something just clicked for him. I would definitely recommend getting professional help and going along to a local breastfeeding group if you have one? Also if you have Facebook join the Breastfeeding Yummy Mummies page, it's fab and has trained people as admins that can give you loads of advice! Good luck

I definitely check that out. Thank you. 4 months is now my next goal!

Nipple trauma, oh you poor thing, I remember it well! I assume you are already slathering on the Lansinoh before and after every feed? Don't forget you can take paracetamol too, that may help you get through the cluster feeding. You can also get silver dressings that you wear in your bra to help with healing - I think they have them on amazon.

Nipple shields do come in different shapes and sizes so worth trying a few. I genuinely couldn't have BF without them. I use the Medela ones - in fact I am feeding with one on right now! They are a bit smaller than some of the others so perhaps easier for him to take in?

Well done for keeping going, it's so tough.

Yeah, tubes of the stuff!!
Good shout on the paracetamol - I forgot that one.
Did you find that they eased the pain? Do you get pain back again if you feed without them?

I had this exact issue with my DS - tried TT snip, osteopath, flipple nipple etc but the pain never went away I think I just got used it it. It probably lessened over time as his mouth got bigger and he fed until nearly 2!
I used to think it was the shape of my breasts but my next baby fed pain free so it was obviously just him! He still is a bit of a pain 6 years later to be honest...

I found La Leche league meet ups very helpful as it was more of a support group rather than focused on 'fixing the problem'.

I also recommend if you need a break and your baby struggles with bottles expressing and cup feeding (a shot glass size is good) or feeding from a tea spoon.

For the pain I used to take ibuprofen and paracetamol after a feed, and used ice packs to numb the pain (might not be recommended with vasospasm) and lots of organic coconut oil to heal nipples worked better for me than lanisoh.

Cranial osteopathy and doing the post tongue tie exercises with baby definitely had an effect, I noticed at newborn she had a habit of craning her neck to one side and seemed uncomfortable and that went away after 1 treatment.

I had painful feeds for 12 weeks with my first baby and then it did improve. I feel with hindsight and having that I wouldn't struggle on in pain for so long and would be open to mixed or formula feeding, as it really affected my mental state. With my second child I threw loads of help at my problems early on, and decided I would cut my losses early if it didn't work out, but luckily the problems second time round were resolved within a week.

That's really helpful, thank you both.

I've just got over a blocked duct now too as well as him deciding this past week that he wants to wake EVERY. SINGLE. HOUR in the night to feed!!! He's not slept more than 2 hours in a block over the past week - must be going through a growth spurt. I had him weighed this week - 17lb4 at 13 weeks old and on the 98th centile so even though it's painful for me, it's definitely working for him!

I'll have another look into the cranial osteopathy and keep my fingers crossed that it improves as he gets even bigger.

I used nipple shields for 6 months with each child. They didn't completely stop problems though. It was tough and I got mastitis several times as well. Once I started weaning I switched to formula gladly. I think using the shields meant switching to bottles was easier. I did use to express sometimes but it took ages to get enough for a feed.

The are some soothing compresses called multimam which are nice.

Just googled them - they sound good. Thankyou.

I'm going through similar with my 8 week old. I think it's partly a painful let-down in my case. I've found a Boppy breastfeeding pillow from Mothercare has helped; it's not 100% fixed the pain but it seems to improve his whole-body positioning (rather than his mouth which always looks fine on the nipple, like over 10 professionals have checked the latch).