Stopping breastfeeding at 14 months

[medb22]

I am hoping to wind down breastfeeding over the next few weeks, as gently as I can. I am getting terrible aversion now - he's quite a 'violent' feeder (slapping, pinching, fingers in my mouth, biting etc), and just won't respond to any of the manners methods. I also need to start taking a medication which, while considered ok to feed on, I would prefer not to.

DS is 14 months now, and feeds twice a day - first thing in the morning (usually around 6.30/6.45ish), and before bed (7pm). Sometimes at weekends after his nap, at around 3ish, but not always. I am going away mid-October for three nights with work, and I think that would be a good target for winding it down. Here are my issues:

1. He is STARVING in the morning when he wakes. At the moment, he has breakfast in nursery at 8.30am, but without a breastfeed in the morning, I think he would struggle. He's not massively into cow's milk - he'll drink a bit, but generally just plays with the cup. Is a cup of cow's milk even filling compared to breastmilk? I have no idea. Could just give him a half slice of toast or something maybe?

1. He currently sleeps through the night and I am terrified of messing this up. What if it's the sleepy night time milk feed that gets him through? I know rationally it's not, as it's literally five minutes, but still! Warm milk before bed? Nothing? I don't want to introduce a bottle at this stage.

If you weaned around this age, I would love to hear your experiences! Thanks.

It’s one of those things I know it’s not easy but at first will be tough it’s the persisting that will make it work, are you reducing bit by bit now ?

I weaned at this age. Do you have a partner or someone who can help you by distracting him when he wants a feed? My DH worked away at lot but between him and my mum they took DD off at key feed times or when she initally requested a feed to see if she could be distracted by something else. Usually this worked. Occasionally I fed her as it didnt. Then soon it was all done. Took about two weeks.. some days we fed some days not at all. Then one day it was our last feed. I made the most of all the feeds in that time knowing each one could be our last. Also DD never liked cows milk when offered and still doesn't so I wouldnt think you need to worry about that if he is eating and drinking well otherwise. Hope this helps a bit!

Thank you both. I do have a husband to distract him - we successfully night weaned doing that! Maybe I’ll start by shortening the feeds and then hand him over to DH, or give him something else to chew on before nursery/bed. Mornings are manic though! Part of me will miss the ease of breastfeeding, but a bigger part of me needs to be finished.

DS has first breakfast at home before going to nursery - it's as much that DH and I are eating so he wants to be.

Didn't give DS alternative milk at bedtime when we stopped (and that was the last feed to go)- they just got shorter and shorter and then one night I said no and he fussed for 30secs if that and then was more bothered about finding the book he wanted.

I was glad to stop at 22ish mo, proud of getting there and still can't guarantee I'm not going to be in for an hour+ at bedtime but it feels different now

We give a cup of cows milk and a small breakfast before nursery (banana, or piece of toast or small bowl of porridge etc).
We also do milk in an evening after tea. You could do this just before bed while you transition and then once sleeping through again (if you do have issues with weaning causing disrupted nights) then move slightly earlier to ensure teeth are brushed after milk is finished and then just water before bed?

Thanks Harrysmummy and TequilaMockingbird. I think that we will probably need to do a small 'first breakfast' really, thinking about it. Maybe a half slice of toast or something. It'll mean getting up a bit earlier, but it might not be a bad thing for me too - at the moment I rush out the door without eating anything myself and end up with a croissant or something equally bad at my desk.

The evening feed I think will be ok without replacement, as he's less interested in that in general. Hopefully he won't start waking at night again - he went from waking 10-15 times a night to sleeping through two months ago and the thoughts of that changing makes me want to cry! But we will play around with it and see what happens.

I do feel a bit guilty about stopping. I fed my daughter until she was 20 months, but for various reasons I just need to be finished now. It's a rollercoaster, isn't it?