Night weaning toddler

[StinkySaurus]

My toddler is about 18 months old. On a good night will wake 4-5 times (every 90 mins- 2 hours) on a bad night will wake 10plus times. She is resettled quickly with a feed and we cosleep as it’s the only way to survive!

Just wondering if night weaning would help?? I’ve been looking at the jay gordon method but I’m concerned that she will still wake up loads ( and maybe be hungry as she doesn’t eat much) and I would’ve lost my tool to get her back to sleep quickly! Anyone been through this and survived?

We did jay Gordon around that age. It worked well for us. She was mostly in her own bed though so had to modify it slightly. A closable sippy cup of water that she could operate herself was helpful.

Is this a new phase she’s going through or has it always been like this? She’s definitely old enough to not need any milk at night, never mind 5 feeds on a good night, you must be exhausted! Honestly, you may just have to go cold turkey here - she will wake loads to start and you’ll have some sleepless nights, but if you feed her just once that’s what she’ll keep wanting - if you genuinely think she’s thirsty I would just give a cup of water. Do you use a dummy?

Tbh both my DC started sleeping much better when I night weaned. DC2 was 18 months, DC1 was a little older.

I don't know if you have a DP/DH but with DC2, DH did 3 or 4 nights when he resettled every time, then DC2 was in the habit of going back down without a feed then I took over. There was a little resistance but not that much and it was worth it.

I used that method to put in place a system where she doesn’t feed to sleep at night. So she’s still in my bed but lying next to me. I said relax relax and patted her side.

Same age as your dd.

Breaking the feed / sleep association is key even if she still feeds at 4am but won’t wake so many times

Does she fall asleep while feeding?

Thanks for all the replies

. @PuffHuffle5 unfortunately she has always been this way. Been waking this frequently since around 4 months. She just seems to keep getting worse not better! And unfortunately I think I’m her dummy. I wish she had one. And yes I agree cold turkey at night ( replacing feeds with cuddles/pats) will probably be best and not as confusing for her.

@JohnLapsleyParlabane and @AvengerDanvers95 did you see improvements with sleep quickly? Did you ever slip back and feed at night if I’ll/ teething etc?

@MarshaBradyo she does fall asleep while feeding at the start of the night. I don’t mind about that. I was just going to remove the night feeds but did you find you had to completely stop feeding to sleep to see sleep improve?

And to all of you... how much resistance did you face when removing the feeds? I’m worried I won’t have the resolve, I can’t stand hearing her cry.

Thanks all for your stories and insights.

Definitely sleep vastly improved within a week.

Now you ask I remember that I night weaned DS at 18 months, then at about 20/21 months he had a bad bout of bronchiolitis. I fed him in the night in a&e for comfort and the next night so I had to re night wean at around 22ish months. That one stuck.

Oh and I didn't stop feeding my DC to sleep at the start of the night for a long time after they were night weaned. Both cottoned on very quickly that they could feed to sleep once and that was that.

I’m hopeless with crying too and took waking to feed over that but her sleep improved a lot when she stop falling asleep feeding.

She was a bit cross but not in a really bad way

The very first stage I did was put her on the bed and she’d cry, I pick her up and cuddle her and say stop crying, relax. No feeding. Somehow she learnt that on the bed = crying, in my arms = not crying and then she would fall asleep on me

After she did that it was easier to lie her on her side on the bed and say same words, pat the same and she wouldn’t cry

There were a few times where she’d wake up and I took same approach, on me saying same words and it worked but now she sleeps until early morning. Touch wood.

I’m a definite soft touch but this has felt as i stressful as possible

We started gently around 13 months when we introduced her own bed and bedroom. She was fully night weaned by age 2. She's 4 in November and we only do one feed in the morning. Some reversion during teething/new sibling/ starting nursery etc but she led back to night weaning by herself

Unstressful as possible (is that not a word?)

I’m worried I won’t have the resolve, I can’t stand hearing her cry.

I know that must be really hard, but please remind yourself that you’re not doing her any harm - she’s not really thirsty, she just wants the comfort but you can give that in other ways. You’ll both hugely benefit from a less intererrupted sleep in the long run, keep that in mind.

I had to go cold turkey with a similar situation at 15months. My DD would take bottle of cows milk in the day, so one weekend we decided no more bf through the night and I'd offer her a bottle instead. We coslept too. She wasn't happy and we didn't get much sleep for 3 nights. It wasn't easy but on the forth night she took the bottle and then had a few ounces once a night for about a month, she then dropped that. It was worth it, I was getting so irritated and tired.