baby has no feeding schedule

[newmummytot]

Hi everyone, my baby will be 5 months next week and he is ebf. I have always fed him on demand, he usually feeds between every 45 mins-2 hours.
Baby was colic (he would literally cry all day long) and has reflux so we introduced the dummy at 6 weeks which dd help with the constant crying. Thankfully his crying has now calmed down :) (i really dd not think it would).
Hs is addicted to the dummy and requires it for all his sleep. It is really getting on my nerves as he is regularly waking and crying so i have to put the dummy back in.
As i have no schedule for his feeds i do offer him a feed incase its hunger!.
He obviously cannot self settle without the dummy and due to his constant crying and difficulties in putting to sleep we have always held him/rocked/shushed him to sleep.
I feel like i am doing everything wrong. He cannot sleep without the above mentioned and he is not on a feeding schedule.
I just cannot do the controlled crying, its just to painful to endure, i tried it and found out that he was hungry and it just broke my heart :(.
I'm exhausted from the constant waking at night. Is there anyone that can relate or offer any advise?

I don't think you are doing anything wrong at all. Having a baby cry all day is totally exhausting, you have my total sympathy.

Being in a schedule doesn't matter either, has someone told you that you should be?

Can I ask how his naps are too?

As for the sleep, it doesn't have to be controlled crying, the No Cry Sleep Solution is a good book to try. It's not a quick fix but will help you and your baby find a solution that suits you both.

I didn't have a feeding schedule for either of mine, not do most people I know. Why is it something that's concerning you?

I didn't do a schedule for mine either. My mum did in the 80s, and fed us everytime. It sounds just as exhausting, if not more, shushing them between feeds than just feeding them on demand.

I didn't have a feeding schedule either, that's just not how my ebf daughter was. You're not doing anything wrong! When you are ebf your baby feeds for hunger, for thirst and at other times for comfort or to soothe themselves. So it's not likely that they will always feed 3 hourly or whatever.
Also my dd didn't self settle until much older. We just phased out the dummy around 6 months but she only ever used it for daytime naps anyway. For her main sleep at night she always fed to sleep. You just do what works! She was sleeping through in her own room by 12 months and i never thought we would get there but they change so much in the next few months

Not many babies sleep through the night at 5 months either.

That used to happen with my son and it was because he kept putting his hands up to his face and knocking the dummy out, so then we swaddled him for naps and that helped a lot!
It will get better.

I demand fed, it tiring but once they start solids (5 months for us) it got easier

Thank you for your replies. The feeding schedule does not bother me too much however friends that have babies similar age to mine say that he must be drinking more by now and be able to last longer!

It is the sleep which is affecting me. I used to always swaddle, dummy and white noise for all his sleeps however i no longer swaddle as he now hates it and really resists being in the swaddle blanket.

As his constant crying has clamed down i would like to take the dummy away, i tried this weekend but he just would not settle and cried for ages before falling asleep then he woke up searching for it and was crying uncontrollably, i tried to settle him nothing worked and his crying just would not stop so i caved in and gave the dummy, he fell asleep in seconds!

I feel terrible becuase i know he really wants it but i feel like if i don't take it away now it would be much harder later! Also, i want him to learn to self settle without a sleep association.

He wakes 5.30am and naps are:
7am -30/45 mins
10am -30/45 mins
12.30pm - 1.30-2.00 hours
4.30pm- 30 mins
7/8pm settle for the night

up until 4 months all his day time naps where whilst being held ( i tried everyhting to put him down and nothing worked, he would wake up within 10 mins). Then as he turned 4 months i was able to put him down for his naps and he stayed however i do need to stay close as he needs to be patted/fed back to sleep if he wakes (for me this is a big achievement as at least i am no longer holding him whilst he sleeps).

First babies can’t get addicted to anything. He’s only been outside of you for 5 months, he just wants comfort and security. He will learn to settle in his own time, do you still need breastfeeding or patting to sleep?

Babies don’t need a feeding schedule, do you eat at exactly the same time every single day? They just need feeding when they’re hungry. Bf babies also like to feed for thirst, comfort, to be close to you, to calm themselves. Bf if much more than just sating hunger.

Honestly, I think you’re making much more work for yourself than you need to! It is honestly easier to go with the flow when you have a young child, and try not to overthink everything. Easier said than done I know!

Hs is addicted to the dummy and requires it for all his sleep.

My DC had one for all his sleeps I don’t think it’s a big deal - they eventually drop their naps (therefore needing it less) and then the dummy fairy comes and takes it away

Also, i want him to learn to self settle without a sleep association.

Lots of adults need sleep associations or a bedtime rountine. I think you may be being slightly unrealistic if you expect him to grow up with none. Plus sleep associations can make them feel secure. How many children love the association of "bath, books, bed"?

If you want to add some positive sleep associations, have s read of the the No Cry Sleep Solutionn*.

Also, like others have said, most babies of this age do wake..* It's just what babies do. Some parents do lie about how much their babies sleep, so try to take stories of perfect babies with a pinch of salt