Lack of family support for breastfeeding

[Finefinedandy]

I’m having a tough time with my family and friends including DH being really unsupportive of breastfeeding.I mixed fed my first baby and was encouraged to move to formula after a few months which I did and have now been EBF my four month old who continues to feed on demand.

All of a sudden it feels like everyone has decided it isn’t enough for the baby.Ive has comments that my milk isn’t good enough quality if she’s feeding so often.that she’s too hungry and needs weaning and my husband has said just now while I’m night feeding that he’s going to give her formula tomorrow night so she will sleep longer. This is just over the last few days!

Has anyone else managed to keep feeding with this sort of pressure and am I correct to think it’s still fine for her to feed as often as needed? I really think it’s fine and will pass soon enough but have started to question myself.

For full info she will often go 2-3 hours in the day between feeds and has a 5hour or so solid sleep at the beginning of the night.

I had a lot of pressure to stop breastfeeding my first, as she wasn't gaining weight fast enough, same with my second. It was only my mum pressuring me, constantly telling me to just bottle feed. By the time I had my third I learnt to ignore her, and he is still breastfeeding at age 2. My youngest was a good latcher and I was determined to breastfeed so there were other things that helped.
My first would cluster feed in the evening so my husband gave her formula as he felt she needed it.
As long as your baby is growing just ignore everyone, some babies just feed all the time, it could be comfort as well as being hungry. If you don't want your husband to give formula maybe hide it so he can't.

Also I think there is a four month sleep regression, so even if he does give formula bubs may not sleep more.

I had the same criticism/pressure to stop, but managed to bf to 18 months, with some puréed veg and finger food added from 6 months.

Is your little one following a good weight gain curve on her red book chart? If she is, you and your milk are doing fine, and she doesn’t need more. Her sleep pattern sounds pretty good too.

Well done for sticking with it.

If baby has good output (plenty of wet and dirty nappies) and is gaining weight well then they are getting enough milk. Every 2-3 hours with a 5 hour stretch at night sounds pretty good to me and quite normal.

Can you get some back up from your health visitor that she's doing fine as things are and she doesn't need any extra formula? I think people who are used to babies who are FF have different expectations of how long a baby will go between feeds and so perceive the baby as being hungry when in fact it's entirely normal for a bf baby to feed frequently and generally not a sign of a problem (assuming good output and weight gain).

If you can get your DH inside I think that will really help. Can he be there for a visit from the HV? With everyone else it is your baby and what you say goes. Could you respond "the HV has confirmed that everything is fine and we find this works best for us right now" then try to immediately change the subject. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone. You're doing a great job, good luck.

*DH onside

Oh yes pressure from all angles.

Luckily I’m a gobshite and won’t be swayed by anyone.
I made it very clear to anyone that commented/criticised that it was not up for discussion, I was doing what I wanted.
That was the end of that.
Breast fed 1st child to 7 months and 2nd child until his 3rd birthday.
Both kids were very low birth weight, both healthy and fine.

I had these comments too. Unfortunately, I listened, and gave DD formula. She started to refuse to BF. Which I have found really upsetting. I still try so hard to BF at night though.

Sounds like your baby is feeding great. And formula doesn’t always make them sleep better!!

She’s gaining weight fine,keeping to the 50th centile and everyone comments how big she is as she’s very long.

Thanks everyone,I’m normally very confident but think that it’s such a sensitive subject about wanting to make sure you’re baby is doing well that I’ve started to question myself well all the opinions I hear are that something must be wrong! It’s a good idea to see if the health visitor could say/write something I’ll go to a weigh drop in and speak to them.

Can you also find support outside of your family? By going to a breastfeeding support group like la leche league meeting? Even if you are having no breastfeeding issues being around other breast feeding mothers can be very affirming of your choices. It will buoy you up to deal with silly comments.

You are doing fine without formula. Think of all the ££s tiunate saving. I got bullied into giving my eldest formula to help her sleep better. It did not work! Omg then I had to sterilise bottles and make milk up for the extra joy of it.

If your baby is gaining weight fine then ignore. You could take them to a weigh in clinic, get the weight recorded in the red book and then you can prove to whoever is moaning at you, yiur baby is doing fine.

I’m a paediatrician- your baby sounds like a completely normal, healthy breastfed baby. Congratulations on doing so well in the face of your family’s comments! Tell them that you are protecting her against infections now and reducing her risk of obesity as an adult. You’re doing a brilliant job, breastfeeding is hard work!!

A breastfeeding group would be good.All if my friends formula fed and I haven’t met any new mums house this time as I’ve got a toddler so don’t go to any baby groups but more things for them instead.

I'm under pressure as ds is now 13 mths. My dp was very supportive of bf at the beginning but now is moaning about bf. Ds only feeds twice a day now anyway.
My fmaily, not. My mom. Tbf, is also saying he's too big for milk. He refuses cow milk in a sippy cup and does a yucky face.
We both like the bond.
As long as baby is happy and gaining weight then your doing great, feeding your baby is what boobs are for. Ignore them

Everything @Sunshinegirl82 said.

You're doing a great job!

Everything @Sunshinegirl82 said.

You're doing a great job!