AAAARGH, drives me crazy, reading this sort of dross from women who should know better...

[DarrellRivers]

Am reading my mother's Good Housekeeping magazine today.
Can't find a link to the article but it is the letter from the editor, Louise Chunn,at the beginning of the September 2007 issue.
She starts by describing that 90% of women in Uk wear the wrong sized bra etc etc, and then moves onto the complex relationship between women and their breasts.
This thinking is hot on the heels of the law being passed to protect breast feeding mothers in public, ie not being allowed to ask them to stop.
Then goes on to say
'As I've formerly breastfed 3 babies, I might be expected to support the new law. But , on examination , I'm deeply ambivalent.Discreet, low key feeding in a public place has always been tolerated, but in-your-face, milky-breast-baring is not the same thing at all.
I don't care how many women say they think it's fine; we have to take on board that, because breasts are associated with sex, breast feeding does make many men uncomfortable.'

I felt sickened that women continually to think it normal that breasts when breastfeeding infants, should be discreet.
Sometimes it is not, sometimes it is.
It makes me cross to think that when feeding my babies I should feel sensitive to those poor embarassed men.
Don't normally get ranty on mumsnet, but needed to share my irritation,and FGS , you'd think such a rag as Good Housekeeping would be a little more up to date.
I felt like I was reading something written by an old fashioned MIL.
What do people think?

Am from Aus and have to say I haven't noticed men staying away from the beach because all the girls have thier boobs out.
I wonder if BF on the beach would be OK for these poor sensetive souls?

I also do find it infuriating that the focus is always on the woman, that the breastfeeding is purely something she feels the need to do, whereas actually it's really about a baby's right to be fed when they are hungry (or need comfort). I'm not breastfeeding in a cafe or wherever for my own gratification (and certainly not in order to flash my sad marble-effect breasts to all and sundry) but because my son needs feeding!

and I have to say, I have rarely glimpsed even a flash of nipple let alone full on boobage, and I spend more time in places where breastfeeding is happening than your average punter, so just who ARE all these women with their breasts out? It is TOTAL CRAP

Too right Sweetydarling, I did smile at all those sensitive souled Australian men leaving the beaches unable to cope with the embarassment of all those breasts.

Good point MrsJC!

And all the British tourists who are so upset by the sight of all those bare breasts that they run for a taxi back to the airport, whimpering and sucking their thumbs.

We've been pandering to male comfort for millions of years.

If men aren't bothered by the sight of surgically augmented breasts in newspapers and magazine covers, then they can put up with the sight of a baby feeding.

And if they can't then stuff them.

I am still flabbergasted by "I don't care how many women say they think it's fine [...] breast feeding does make many men uncomfortable."

In a women's magazine, FFS. She doesn't care what women think if there's a chance men may feel uncomfortable.

Then there's the general crapness of the rest of the "argument", but I was gawping like a fish before I even got on to that.

That's why TheOldestCat's satire on it was so brilliant and really highlights the prepostorousness of her argument.

Except that I don't think many men do have an issue with skirts (do they? Well, I suppose they might if they had to look at my legs).

How about "women running large companies"?

"I don't care how many women say they think it's fine; we have to take on board that, because power dynamics in general are associated with gender roles, a woman running a multinational does make many men uncomfortable."

[checks century on computer time display, just in case]

Actually, come to think of it, the skirts line does get trotted out (and accepted) for real in the classic "she was asking for it, your honour, going out dressed like that" defence in rape cases.

So sadly not as obviously preposterous as it ought to be

But many years aog, that might have been the sort of argument that trotted out agaisnt the "new" fashion of shorter skirts.

You could even apply it to when women started wearing trousers.

That is the level of Louise Chum's argument - outdated and non longer (or should not be) relevant to today's society.

Shame on her.

I rather suspect that most of the men I have sat near rather liked my indiscreet (big boobs, clumsy mum) breastfeeding. maybe this is a jealousy comment. We might steal her husband or something with our fabulously large and full boobies!!!

Well said Expat!!!!

I was told I couldn't breast feed in Sainsbury's cafe once. Went back and fed my baby there another week. I found that I just didn't look at anyone while trying to get the baby latched on, so if anything was exposed and people were looking, I didn't see them. I also carried a muslin for when I wanted to be more covered up. Upsetting men is not a reason to not BF in public.

Only read the OP.
I always bf so discreetly that no-one could see anything, but that was my personal choice as I wouldn't sunbathe topless either.
Sadly, it's not just men who can feel uncomfortable seeing a woman bf.

i bf my dd for six weeks (she 14mo now)
i struggled to get her latched properly and prefered the comfort of the baby feeding facilities available in my area as whilst somewhere busy she was more interested in the noise/colours to feed properly also she used to slurp

Well said expat. I bet she has never written a piece about how offended she is by walking into any newsagent, WH Smith etc and seeing row upon row of varying degrees of porn.

LyraBelacqua - bacuse someone feels uncofmrotable watching you eat a banana, is that a reason not do it?

I know that is a ridiculaous analogy - but that is essentially the argument!

It is ridiculous that people (men and women) get uncomfortable at the sight of someone doing something that is the most natural thing in the world and is the best thing for the child. And the reason, "becausee breasts are associated for sex".

Well, that to me as the very argument WHY women should make a point of breasfeeding in public, to remind evertyone that breasts are not just for sex.

BTW - I wasn't a "militant" breast feeder. I just assumed it was normal and assumed that those around me wuld realise it was normal too. Maybe that's why I never got any comments!

coulnd't agree more. breastfeed all of mine for a year each, breastfed on the tube in the park in restaurants everywhere - how else was i meant to cope with my life?! people seriously need to wake up to the fact that if people are embarrassed anout other people breadtfeeding that is THEIR problem, not ours, and it is they who should hide away in their house making sure no one looks at them funny. honestly. its enough to make me want to clobber people! And what ar you doing reading good housekeeping anyway?!! put it away and drink some wine it snearly the weekend.

It was my mother's, so excuse it, not my normal reading material, quite like the recipes in it.

My MIL is just not comfortable with breast feeding at all. She seems totally bewildered by it and definitely subscribes to the 'poor man might be embarrassed' school of thought. Once when I was feeding dd she walked into the house without knocking with then 16 year old brother in law in tow. When she saw I was feeding dd she grabbed bil and threw him out of the room and slammed the door. The poor thing didn't have a clue what was happening. I hate the fact that she has now probably done enough to convince him forever that breastfeeding is shameful and embarrasing. I still cringe when I think what he imagines I was doing that was so awful. If she had let him walk in I'm sure he wouldn't have even noticed.

Erm, i think you've misunderstood me prettybird. I wasn't saying that at all. I said sadly women as well as men find watching bf uncomfortable. Of course that's not a reason for them to stop. I think everyone should bf (if they can) and do it wherever is most convenient for them. The more people do it, the more others will realise it's perfectly normal and natural, and the more comfortable they will be with it. Then there won't be an issue anymore.

Prettybird, I've just re-read my post and I can see how it could be misleading. I made it sound like I was uncomfortable seeing women bf, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

mum,didn't you ever b'feed in front of him again?
Do people really believe that a breastfeeding woman should be hidden away?
Bollocks to that.I was in the pub within a week of ds being born (early evening pint, not all nighter obv.)