Breastfeeding ending/ body let me down!

[Chunk9]

Baby is 4 1/2 months. She lost quite a bit of weight initially because my milk was late coming in, so we began combination feeding. We continued to combination feed, something that worked well for my son. I chose to stop at 6 months with him because he was teething and chewing on me. Despite trying to build my milk supply back up this time its never happened and is now coming to an end. Supply totally stopped on my left and very low on the right. I feel really low and upset, I love the bond when feeding, she is our last baby and I know I’ll never get to experience it again. I just feel so sad. Anyone else going through this?

Not now but I remember how sad it feels when your body stops before you're ready. I got to 10 months but my aim was 1 yr and I was gutted.
It feels like being betrayed, at least it did for me... But, this is why formula is so amazing. It's the perfect substitute and at the very least you know that your baby isn't a bottle refuser so baby will handle the transition well. At 4.5 months, I know you feel shit, but at least you got this far and huge well done to you for persevering when your supply was late/low.

@Chunk9 I am also going through this. We combination fed DD from day 3, (now 4.5 months old) as I really struggled. She cluster fed and was on me aaalll the time. I just gave her formula if I was struggling to keep up with the feeds. Then from 12 weeks, she started to refuse the breast, and I got too stressed and just gave her a bottle. I carried on breastfeeding during the night and first morning feed, but I really don’t think she is getting anything now. (Doesn’t mean I stop her latching on when she does).

Do you have any plans to speak to someone, like a breastfeeding support group, for help? I really wish I did, but it’s too late for me. Health visiter always just tells me how well I’ve done, and that she has been given lots of benefits already...

@Chunk9 HV did say to build supply, I could spend a few days in bed with baby, doing skin on skin, avoiding bottles and letting her latch on. But I know DD would hate this! 🙈 I just offered the breast there. She screamed and is now taking a bottle

Thanks for your message! You can relate then. It’s heartbreaking. Left breast has totally packed up, barely anything in my right. I was like you and fed through the night and in the morning. Been trying to build it up again, she just gets too distracted, all the advice is to sit in a quiet room, skin to skin etc but I have a little boy who is nearly four- it’s impossible to get him to sit still quietly and understand. She just wants to watch what he’s doing. I think I need to accept it’s come to an end. Honestly I’m so devastated!!!!

@Chunk9 yeah, I’m really upset and annoyed at myself for not going to a support group. I tell myself that DD is doing amazing and not to dwell, but it doesn’t change my feelings!

Are you going to stop offering the breast? I don’t feel like I can... this morning she latched on and off for 3 hours (while sleeping). Even if it’s just for comfort it helps me cope a little better.

You have done amazing to get this far though, especially when you have to look after another child too!

I'm going through this right now. I exclusively breastfed (bar one feed whilst I had surgery) for 7 months. Until today. The last few days have been hell and the stress combined with lack of appetite means my supply has dropped a huge amount. DC has been below the 0.4% centile since birth but isn't gaining weight properly at all (6oz in 4 weeks compared to 6oz a week for a normal baby) and all these factors combined meant I went out and brought bottles and formula. DC is my first and I so wanted to make it to a year but I'm proud I got this far and we're still combined feeding.

Basically, I completely understand and you should be proud of yourself too! Try not to let your feelings get you too down, you worked so hard to make it this far!

@HeartboxTeddy You’ve done so well, 7 months is amazing!!! They just need to be fed at the end of the day, bottle, breast, as long as they have full tummies that’s the main thing. I know my little girl isn’t bothered, it’s just me being emotional

@BeHereNowx32 I will offer it again tonight, son is in bed, no distraction, just cuddly and calm, and I know she’s feed off me a little and probably fall asleep. I think with the hot weather she’s enjoyed being able to gulp a bottle, it comes quicker than from the breast. If that makes sense? I haven’t asked for any help to be honest, I know where it’s gone wrong I think. I don’t think my milk ever came in the same this time as with my son x

Please try not to be so hard on yourself, you've done amazing, and although it's not the way you envisaged it your baby is getting everything they need. Keep offering the breast if that helps, you know that you can compliment it with formula as you have been doing so nothing to lose.

I understand how you are feeling. It's years ago now, but I had this with my youngest child. He wasn't gaining weight so I had to start combination feeding at 6 weeks. I did get support, but nothing worked to improve my supply, it was just one of those things. By four months he wasn't really interested in breastfeeding any more, and of course my supply was even lower because he wasn't feeding as much. So I took the decision to stop & I was so upset. I remember sobbing myself to sleep after our last attempt at breastfeeding. It was particularly hard to take because I'd breastfed both my older two without any problems for around 8 or 9 months, and I'd planned to do the same with DC3. So I understand how upsetting it is. All I can tell you is that it didn't affect our bond & to be honest life was much easier after we stopped because it was a stress removed from me. It took a while to come to terms with stopping before I was ready though.

@Chunk9 that is good that baby is still getting a little milk. I think even a little helps. I’ve also read that feeding at night helps to keep supply going, so you never know, she may be getting more than you think. Do you need to get a bottle after breastfeeding? I do now. That’s how I know there isn’t enough. She used to go straight to sleep after I fed her. Giving her a bottle of formula doesn’t even make her sleep better than when I had more supply to feed her anyway!

@HeartboxTeddy 7 months is brilliant! Especially when EBF. Hope you know you’ve done a good job

@DramaAlpaca 4 months seems to be when lots of babies choose bottles over breastfeeding! They are so clever at knowing what they want 🙈