I can't cope with the feeding problems anymore

[Lottiebugz22]

I'm so tired and depressed.
My now 7 month old just won't drink milk unless I really keep trying and offering.
I have to distract her to get her to eat food. This morning she wouldn't take anything at all. I've taken her to the doctors and they won't help me at all they say keep trying. I'm so depressed with it all. I just want my baby to eat and drink properly. I don't know what else I can do.

Is she on formula? If so, have you tried a faster nipple?
What centiles is she for height and weight?
Is she dropping centiles for weight?
Otherwise make a food diary of every scrap she eats and ml she drinks and then take it to the GP and make a fuss

That sounds tough and is something that can be addressed I'm sure please don't panic.

A bit more information could get the hive mind working for you

• breast / bottle?
• what times / on demand?
• weaning? Finger food or purée?
• what's a normal days food / milk intake?
• what sleep / daily routine do you have?

Let's see what we can do

Hi

Yes she is on formula.

I haven't had her weighed since my health visitor last came when dd was 5 months old.

I've just looked in the red book and there is a dot on the 50th line and that was when dd was 5 months old. I don't really understand the growth graph.

The health visitor is due to come again when dd is 9 months.

A typical day is.

Wakes about 7.30-8.00am and I offer her a bottle but she pushes it away so I give her 10 mins. She may have about an ounce usually then pushes it away and continues to do this so I give her 10 minutes again and she might take another ounce but that is it. I try her with food afterwards and she will keep her mouth closed so I wait a bit and let her hold her sippy cup which she does drink water from. She may have a few spoons of porridge but that's it.
I tried to put milk in her sippy cup but she doesn't drink if it's milk.

She is up for around an hour and a half and then will need a nap. She naps for about 45 minutes then she is up and I let her play a little bit around half an hour and try and offer her milk again but she won't have it. I've left it 4 hours between feeds before and she will have around 2oz at the most.

I've managed to get her to eat a tablespoon of porridge with a teaspoon of strawberry puree and few sips of water from the cup.

She is now having a nap.

Do you know if your health visitors have drop in clinics locally at all? Mine used to do a bit of a stay and play / weigh / advice clinic at the libraries - it moved about a bit but your GP surgery should have the info if they do something similar. It might be worth going along to one to see if you can build a bit of a relationship with them to support you through this.

Definitely start an approximate food diary to give you some kind of history next time you see someone.

I think it will be important to keep an eye on her weight so that you can use that as a real indicator if there is a problem or not. If she's still gaining weight and is otherwise a happy baby, it may be that she is taking more than you think or just has on / off days.

It sounds like you spend quite a lot of time trying to get her to eat / drink which is probably pretty boring for her and obviously causing you stress and anxiety.

Could you try a few days where you a bit more relaxed and offer the bottle / food but if she doesn't want it, simply put it aside until the next 'food time' or when she asks / cries for it?? So say you offer milk / food every 2 hours but if she's not interested, you just get her down and carry on with the day?? Perhaps she's got too used to snacking / grazing on small amounts throughout the day??

I agree with a drop in clinic and a food diary so you can have her weighed and tell if it’s anything above the ordinary stubborn baby problems. Do you know other babies or is there a nursery she could be signed up for if you can afford it? My older child only really started eating well when he went to nursery , I think all the other babies sitting around eating peer pressures them into it!

Yes I am keeping a diary.
I've tried leaving her longer between feeds but she ended up going a full day with nothing and slept through the night on nothing. Had other people with babies babysit her and they said she wouldn't take anything off them either.
I'll try the local children's centre again.

I'd keep pushing with the GP then if she can literally go all day without anything as that doesn't sound sustainable and also suggests there may be something else wrong.

Did she ever have reflux / pain after eating when she was younger? How long has this 'refusal' been going on?

Good that you have a diary already - if you can go in with a couple of weeks of 'evidence' it should help your case for a referral - probably gastro to rule out anything that is stopping her eating as that could be the more serious route. If there isn't anything physical, perhaps then a nutritionist can advise on best approach.