Returning to work @ 3 months

[Newbie39]

Due to financial reasons I have to return to work when my son is 3 months old. I had planned to exclusively breast feed up to 6 months but 1 month in I just don’t understand how that will be possible. There doesn’t seem to be any pattern to his feeding so I don’t know how I could predict how much milk he will need each day. He does long feeds but also lots of little feeds throughout the day, I have to feed after every nappy or he won’t settle, I have to feed when he wakes up and I have to feed if he gets hiccups (which happens a lot!). I don’t get how my DH (who will be a stay at home Dad) will be able to give him the expressed milk bottle as frequently as I need to currently breastfeed but equally if we switch to formula I worry my son will end up overfed if he feeds as frequently as he is doing.

I also expressed for the first time the other day and got completely covered in my own milk. I’m a teacher at a secondary school, lunch break is 30minutes and practically speaking I’m not going to be able to pump at any other time of the work day. You just can’t use a breast pump at the front of a class of teenagers! Being covered in milk, even on my lunch break, is not practical as I won’t have any real time to clean up as a full pumping cycle takes 30 minutes according to my pump instructions. I leave for work at 7am and normally don’t get home until 6:30/7pm. If I only pump once at lunch surely I’m going to get engorged every day?

Are there any working mums that have gone back at 3 months that can give me advice on how they did it and how they managed feeding? TIA for any advice given

I have an EBF 5 month old and will be returning to work next week. This was my main concern about leaving him. I’m going to attempt it and see how we go! The feeding does settle after the first 6-8 weeks. Frequency reduces and more of a pattern tends to emerge. I will be expressing on my lunch break too! I have the Phillips pump which usually takes 5-10mins per side! Have you seen the elvie pump? Expensive but very discreet to allow pumping at work hands free. (Haven’t used so no idea about noise!) The cost put me off tbh. I have a freezer supply of milk that I’ve been stocking up and am hoping that plus what I pump will be enough for the following day. Have you tried your baby with a bottle? Mine refused at first and took several weeks of daily practice before he would drink from it.

Not much help I'm afraid but because I knew I was going back to work when DD was two months old, I made the decision not to BF at all from the start. She was in nursery from 8 to 6 so it would have been pretty impossible. I admire your persistence with BF. I had DD overseas where six weeks maternity leave was the maximum, so BF was limited to that time, largely because of the reasons you've given.

Also pumping does get easier. I assume from your post your baby is 1 month? If so your supply will still be adjusting so some days you might produce loads if he’s cluster fed the day before (hence being covered!) As his feeding starts to regulate, your supply should too.

As for time between feeding/expressing, my son has (occasionally!) been known to sleep for 6-7 hours at night so I assume I can also go that long in the day without feeding/expressing. I’ve found if he’s left with Dad/my parents for some time, he doesn’t feed like he would with me, as if he knows the on demand supply is not available! He will accept the bottle only when he’s actually hungry, not several times for comfort like he would do with BF. I’m bracing myself for the cluster feeding at night though!

I started a new job when my second ds was 6 weeks (too good a career opportunity to pass up). It’s not easy to find the time to pump. I find it does take me the full 30 minutes to completely drain my left boob. Right one only takes 20 minutes. I’m lucky in that I have a room that is dedicated to pumping and feeding. I sometimes take my laptop in with me and work whilst pumping. I also drive to work and pump on the drive there and back. I definitely notice a drop in production if I spend the day at work. So I make up for it by pumping immediately after the first feed of the day every day on my days off.

I was very conscious of not creating a feed to sleep association, so that wasn’t a problem for us. Perhaps something you need to start working on now to gradually help him to sleep independently without a feed.

Your dh might have a rough few days to start, but I’m sure your ds will soon get used to the new situation. Babies are so resilient. Practice bottle feeding every day so he gets used to it.

Determining volume is difficult. You will waste milk. Have a look at the kellymom website for lots of great info on this stuff (no affiliation to me)

My ds is now 6 months and he does 2-3 feeds whilst I’m at work. So I’m covered by 3 pumping sessions.

Bear in mind your ds is still little. A lot will change in the next two months. So try not to worry. Just prepare the best you can and the rest will fall into place.

I went back at 9 weeks first time, 11 weeks second time because I'm in the US and that's just how it is. It's completely normal here to go back to work when babies are still very young so clearly it's possible.

Now, breastfeeding didn't work out either time but lots of my friends have breastfed successfully even returning to work early. Here, the right to pumping breaks is protected by law. Employers must provide a clean, private place to pump and refrigerated storage. They cannot sock pay, make you stay late to make up time etc. What are your legal rights in this regard? Do you have any? I'm wondering whether, assuming you're in the UK, protection for pumping may not be as good because returning to work this early is much more unusual.

I promise you things will have become a lot more in a pattern by three months. It will improve. Don't know what else to say, just don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. I've had shitty comments from people at home in the UK about how they could never leave their babies at just three months. They could, of course, they just didn't have to.

I hadn’t heard of Elvie when I bought my pump but now I really feel I need one. Not sure I can afford it though.

I have already had a lot of negative comments from family, friends and colleagues about when I’m going back. Made me feel like a bad mum before he was even born!

The legal rights in the uk aren’t the same I am entitled to somewhere to pump and somewhere to store but not breaks to pump in!

I didn’t realise his patterns would still change hopefully that will help too.

Thanks everyone