advice on stopping breastfeeding (at last) twenty month old

[kate7]

I am still bf my 20 month old dd for one feed after tea early evening and one feed immediately before bedtime only. She sleeps through the night, is at nursery full time and happily drinks water, juice and cows milk from beakers with meals and during the day, but I have hung on to the last couple of breast feeds, and now I am not sure how to stop! I do think I have done my bit now, and as she is a toddler and on the verge of talking I personally feel the time is fast approaching to wean her finally. A friend told me she waited till her dd was 28 months and she could explain to her, as that made it easier, and I wonder if I should do the same. Any suggestions or advice very welcome!!!

Haven't weaned my 2.1 yo yet - so this is mainly a bump for people that know. I've heard that "don't offer, don't refuse" is a good technique for gradual weaning though?

think the don't offer don't refuse thing works best when the feeds aren't regular. It looks like your feeds have been part of the bedtime routine so IF you want to stop bf you might want to think about changing this a bit so that you miss the breastfeed time.

HI,
not been in your situation, as the latest I ever got to with bf was to 13 month.
However, maybe try to explore first why you feel the need to wean? i.e you mention she is on the verge of talking....etc....there is no reason to stop on that account.
And, as you are saying that your friend waited till her lil one was 2.8years old and that you wonder should you wait that long yourself...it seems to me that you don't really feel an urgent need to wean now and maybe that it's outside pressures that give you the feeling you SHOULD wean....and if that is so, you may well end up regretting it.
Your lil one is down to 2 feeds anyway, so, I would think that your lil one will naturally progress to wean off completely sooner or later anyway....

Other then that just not offer the boob and try to change the normal routine so your lil one just forgets about it...

thanks for these messages - the dont offer dont refuse advice seems like it might be helpful, but I think the main problem is that the last feed in particular is part of dds bed time routine and I will have to think of a new way to approach that. Regarding do I want to do this or not, I myself am not sure, as has been picked up from my post!! No one is pressurising me, I have a very supportive dh, (the odd negaitve comment from my mother is a pain but I dont see her that often so I can deal with that!!!)I think I am ready to stop, but I don't want to distress dd. She did self-wean off night feeds, so maybe I just need to chill out and let it happen in good time...

i didn't have a tea time feed but this is how i stopped feeding ds to sleep.

move last bf downstairs. first night he fell asleep in my arms in the sofa, next few nights fed for 5 mins and then started to wriggle. Introduce new things to soothe at bedtime. Put teddies to bed etc.
After a few nights i offered a mug of warm milk after breastfeed
After a week or so he lost interest in my boob and went straight for the mug, Whole process took around 2 weeks

Don't have any personal advice myself as I am letting my son self wean... he is 3 & not showing any signs of giving up yet ....but wanted to recommend the LLL book "How weaning happens" - lots of mums I know have found it really useful. Kellymom also has a section on weaning if I remember rightly...

Kate, maybe you could go down the middle route
I.e. sort of let it happen, BUT also maybe make some changes to your usual routine and see what happens?
Just make sure you won't regrett giving up
MY ys is 3 in a couple of weeks and I still miss bf now, and he stopped at 13month...but then, I was not ready for it to happen back then...

you see for me 20 months isn't "at last" it is "just getting to the good bit"
lots of people feed at bed time, and it is a lovely way to round off the day for both people if you both enjoy it! and no-one else needs to know or care
as your baby gets older it gets easier to find other sustitutes without upsetting her - getting someone else to put her to bed is a good start.
best of luck and well done with bf this far

Have to agree with HC on the "good bit" thing. It's really hard to get my DS to stay still for a cuddle for more than 3 seconds. We still feed first thing and last thing, and I love the fact that we get time to just be