Stopping breastfeeding and giving formula - positive stories?

[Sunflower160]

DS is 3 months old and has been breast fed with the occasional bottle of expressed milk, around 1-2 per week. Three weeks ago he went on ‘nursing strike’ and refused to feed from the breast, it was resolved within a couple of days and he was latching again. The same thing has happened again for no known reason and it’s been a week now. I have been to the GP and there is no physical cause. The health visitor has been out but was unable to help and said DS’s behaviour was strange. I have attended breastfeeding support groups. I have tried numerous positions. He was feeding when sleepy but has now stopped doing that. He just won’t even try to latch, he becomes agitated and screams. He has dropped from the 50th centile to the 25th. I am expressing milk constantly and feeding him from a bottle, but my DH is working away on and off for the next couple of months and I’m finding it all emotionally draining. I want to continue but I can’t and I’m thinking formula is going to be the best way forward for us all. I know it’s not the end of the world but I am really upset. DS has been a fairly good sleeper and I’m scared that everything is going to change when he becomes formula fed and his sleep my worsen. I’m looking for some positive stories of where stopping breastfeeding and formula feeding instead has worked out for the best?

Oh OP I could have written your post a year ago. My son never latched properly, and we battled for six long long weeks, before I stopped and moved to solely expressing. I expressed until he was 12 weeks and all of a sudden it was too much. I felt I was never fully present as I was always attached to a pump, and prior to stopping breastfeeding, battling him to get on the boob. I couldn’t just pop out as everything was such an ordeal - nipple shields, pumps, mastitis. Mental! He also fell from the 25th centipede to the 0.2. It was such a difficult time as I put so so much pressure on myself.

I can honestly say switching to formula was the best decision for us. It has made no difference whatsoever to our relationship. I was brainwashed by various HCPs who made me believe breastfeeding was the only way, I would be depriving my son of the best thing I could give him, and this all had such a detrimental effect on my mental health.

At 18 months I am the centre of his world, and I don’t think mode of feeding would have made any difference. The switch had no impact on his sleep, and the biggest wake up for me was that there was zero difference in how he took a bottle of formula or a bottle of EBM.

Sending you solidarity - you are doing an amazing job mama!! X

Switching to formula improved my bond with my baby because I could enjoy feeding time and I loved all the extra sleep I got.

Do what is right for you.

I switched to formula with DS1 at 3 weeks. We never managed to get breastfeeding established and he’d always had formula top ups from birth. It was definitely the right decision for us & once he started gaining weight consistently I could relax and he thrived. He’s 18 months now & eats everything in sight!

I remember the guilt and upset and feeling like i’d failed very clearly though. The decision was so much more emotional than I’d expected.

I have no regrets now and i’m pretty sure switching to formula saved me from developing PND. You’ve done amazingly well to breastfeed your baby for 12 weeks and to keep expressing full time - it can be really difficult I found it exhausting.

Oh you poor thing, that sounds so hard.

You've done an amazing job breastfeeding this far. Don't feel bad if now is the right time to stop.

Almost everyone born in the 60s and 70s was bottle fed, breast feeding was bang out of fashion! Most of us have done all right!

Mine are much older now but I switched to formula with both at three months because it was a stressful nightmare. As soon as they were on the bottle the whole house calmed down. Happy fed baby with great sleep and happy mother. We could go out and about because I wasn't having to time outings around bf due to latching on being such a struggle I could not do it in public. Years later it matters not a jot. Do what works for you and drop the guilt and enjoy your baby.

I quit but never had much of an attachment or expectation to breastfeed. DS loves his formula and sleeps like a champ - not sure how much of that is because of his personality versus feeding type etc. But it did wonders for my mental health.

I switched to formula at 3 months because I was exhausted with two hourly feeds day and night. I felt 1000 times better. Sleep improved for everyone and I regained a sense of control. Now teens, they don't seem to have suffered.

I switched to formula when my baby wasn't getting enough milk and I was finding it painful. Absolute best decision I ever made. We got a plug in steriliser that made it easy to wash the bottles and soon got into a routine. My baby started thriving and sleeping better and I felt human again. Dh was able to bond with her because he could feed her too.

The health visitor said that off the record there was no difference between bottle fed and breast fed babies but they were under strict instructions to promote it. As long as I fed my baby that was what was important. The only negative was that I had to leave my baby group because a group of women that I secretly called "the milk mafia" started bullying me for my decision but I soon found other nicer groups and realised lots of women bottle feed and it's ok!

I know everyone says breast is best and I'm sure it is but as it stands my dd is now 7 and doing very well at school, always seems to avoid all the bugs that go round so I have come to the conclusion that you have to do what works best for you. There are no many factors that affect a child's health, development and wellbeing and no guarantees whatever you do with children.

• so many

We made the full time switch at 8 weeks. It was honestly the best decision I ever made. The switch in both of us was instant. DC was smiling all the time (no longer screaming in my face) sleeping well and I felt nothing but relief!
I BF DC1 for over2 years, so it took me a while to make the decision, but have honestly not looked back.

Whatever decision you make has to be what is best for BOTH of you. Your baby will be fed whichever you choose, but it's what you want for your MH and body that is most important.

I switched from EBF to FF at 7 weeks old. It was honestly the best thing I ever did! I agonised over it, but we were all so much happier when we made the change. DD started sleeping through the night a couple of weeks later, and we were able to get into a decent routine which just wasn’t possible with BF. That really helped my mental health and DD to be more settled.

She is 2 now and still sleeps like a trooper, is rarely ill, and bright as a button.

Starting to think about having another baby, and have already promised myself not to put so much pressure on myself to breastfeed. FF was brilliant!

Thanks everyone, it’s made me feel better. I am still expressing but also giving some formula too as I am just drained now. Sounds silly but I feel rejected by him a little bit and so emotional over it. Hopefully he will still thrive the same on formula.