BF once day

[BeHereNowx32]

Hi,
My DD is 4 months old, and has been combination fed since 3 days old. I really really struggled with mental health and then BF. I couldn’t cope with the cluster feeding, so midwife suggested BF for 30 mins, then topping up with formula. I did top up with formula, but always BF for as long as I could handle. So hours and hours of feeding etc. DD seemed to take to both breast and bottle well, and would always take breast when offered (this was a lot!). However, she started to take more and more formula, even after long BF sessions. And the last 2 weeks, she has been refusing her day time BF. Becoming really stressed.
Now, the only BF she will take is around 5/6am. Then once she is properly awake, will refuse the breast. I know my supply is now non existent during the day.
Does anyone have experience of feeding once or twice a day. I really really want to keep this one feed. I am so gutted that things haven’t worked out for us. I feel like I have done everything wrong!
TIA

I don't have experience of your situation but firstly I'd say you've done amazingly well and absolutely nothing wrong!! I struggled to BF my DS and stopped at 5 weeks but I've succeeded with my DD. She's now 9 months old and just feeds at bedtime and a couple of times in the night (though I think that's for comfort).

I went to a BF support group, and would highly recommend one if you have one local to you. They explained that breastmilk was like a factory rather than a storage facility so as long as your baby is taking milk you will always be producing milk and your body will adjust the supply to the demand. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that by keeping that one feed your milk supply will continue.

Keep offering that morning feed and before a bottle. And in the long run if BF stops then you've done (and will continue to do) an amazing job!

@carneconchilli aw thank you for your kind words. I think my hormones have also been all over the place, making me feel very sad about it all. I regret not going to a breastfeeding support group. I always found it difficult because I don’t drive.
DD will not even try to latch on when awake. I just hold her and she screams at me! 🙈 would love to keep bedtime and morning feeds.

Yeah it's a very emotional experience and very tough considering how natural it's supposed to be.

At the group I attended there were people at all different stages of breast feeding and they truly helped me enormously. If you can't get there try give them a ring as peer supporters will chat to you on the phone too. And some come out to you. I think because you feel so strongly about continuing then it's definitely best to seek out support. The one to two feeds a day is not a problem at all though and definitely a natural progression as baby starts to wean on to solid food. But I'm sorry I can't advise on the screaming and not latching. Hopefully someone else might see this who has experienced similar.

The National breastfeeding helpline is 0300 100 0212. Hope that helps

@carneconchilli good that you had such a positive experience. I will try phoning. May speak to my health visiter again, but not sure how much advice they can give. DD is feeding this morning, so I’m grateful 🤗
Thanks again

I did exactly the same with DD1 , although it's was admittedly just a convenience thing that I decided to combo feed. Allot exactly the same timing she got to 4 months and essentially weaned herself- I think the bottle was just less effort for her do she'd make a fuss about breast. I continued offering an early morning feed which she happily accepted until gone 6 months and that worked fine. Don't feel bad, the most important time to bf is done and although we realise bf is preferable, you all being relaxed and happy while dd is still fed is what's truly important

Posted too soon... meant to add she'll still benefit from those 1-2 feeds per day

@Booboo66 thank you. I feel more positive knowing that others were able to do this also. Considering I wanted to give up everyday until around 10 weeks, I think maybe we have done well.

I had a similar situation with DD1 in that I combination fed for a while but around 3 months in she started to refuse the breast and only wanted bottle, apart from the dreamfeed or at night when she was sleepy. I found it incredibly hard and demoralising and spent a few weeks pumping before I gave up and fed her formula all the time. I was sad about it but have to say that once my milk went and the crazy hormones were out of my system I was fine about it and could see things more objectively.
My DD2 is 7 months old and I didn't want to make the same mistakes so didn't bottle feed her much at all. She LOVES the boob and will often refuse a bottle which makes it hard for me to go anywhere without her! I'm enjoying breastfeeding more this time round but am struggling with having a clingy baby who must know where I am at all times! So a completely different experience!

@PickledPig it seems to be common then that babies start to refuse the breast at this age. I worried about DD preferring the bottle, and really really tried to BF more.
If we every have another baby I really do think I will combo feed again, but possible hold out to introduce bottle later. I have never BF in public and not sure how I’ll get on with that! There’s lots to think about! I’m glad it all worked out for you x

I'm not sure it's completely worked out for me as DD2 is the opposite end of the spectrum and often won't take a bottle when I want / need her too! But from a purely breastfeeding perspective yes it has worked out.
Looking after a baby is hard - especially your first when you don't know what you're doing and constantly doubting yourself. Don't beat yourself up. These first few months are over in a heartbeat and you will be weaning soon - a whole host of new things to worry about then! These breastfeeding worries will be forgotten!

@PickledPig ah right. Yeah, couldn’t imagine what life would be like if DD refused the bottle! That’s A lot of work for mummy.
She is BF again now. So, I do feel happier that we still have this one feed!

I definitely feel that hormones make this very emotional and stressful too. I feel better now they are calming down. You’re right though, time goes so fast! X

Still had to give DD a bottle. And she is still awake 😣 miss being able to BF her to sleep anyway!