You know how posters have said people like me put them off bfing (usually mythical babies they've no intention of having in the future, I think it's just something to say, but still)

[NotReallyHereHunker]

I'd like a head count of people I and others like me have helped to breastfeed, please.

Not just me. My part's small and insignificant compared to people like Tiktok and Mears, I realise that.

So go on - is posting about bfing in general as opposed to specific issues helping or hindering people?

Real people who are having real babies in the future, please, for preference, not those who aren't having any more and just like having a go at me for posting about this. You know who you are

have always been passionate about bfing and bf ds1 and ds2 till they were 12 months. Didn't really consider going past that as I was considered slightly freaky by colleagues for feeding so long and bringing a breast pump to work! Didn't have MN back then!
With ds3 I got great advice at the start from tiktok and others but at baby no. 3 I didn't need much advice as I pretty much "knew it all" but the camaraderie was fantastic!
When I was expressing in work, the help and support from popsycal, jabberwocky, Shivs and kiskidee and other "expressing buddies" was brilliant!
And without Hunker, moondog, VVVQV and tiktok, I doubt if ds3 would have been fed for 2.6 years.
I do think it is hard to be passionate about breastfeeding without getting angry about the way formula and baby food is marketed. When ds1 was small I actually thought that you had to give babies baby food from supermarket shelves and didn't think anything I could make would be as "nutritious". I believed the hype they put out and I am actually quite intelligent! I wish I had had someone like Hunker back then to pour scorn on these companies. In the end my lovely GP put me right and pointed out what was wrong with these foods but by then ds1 was so used to them that he would reject anything home-made! The baby food companies had succeeded in theirmarketing. With the result that at 1.6 years there was very little I could give him that he would eat as he had grown out of jars and there was very little else that appealed to him. He didn't eat normally for 2 years and I was climbing the walls!
With ds2 and ds3 I didn't make the same mistake and have gone to great lengths to make sure their diets are home-made and surprise, surprise they have always been much better eaters.
I think the baby food industry, whether you mean formula companies or the interrelated producers of homogenous mush have too much influence on how we feed our small children and Hunker is right to rant about them. She never personally attacks individuals for using these products, just the fat cats who market and produce them.
Nice to have you back, Hunker!

formula companies and their underhanded tactics is a completely unrelated matter from supporting those who want to b/feed and couldnt, or who want to b/feed and are struggling, or who want to f/feed and are struggling.

I dont think I have seen many cases where a poster has specifically asked for help or advice, and not been given a "kindhearted" response or support.

Pretty disingenous to suggest that this tends not to be the case, if I'm honest.

People that really dont care, are conspicuous by their absence, IMVHO.

Message withdrawn

hello!!!

yes I agree, it is a completely separate issue. thoes people proferring kind hearted support are the same ones who hear all the crappy stories and get so angry about the marketing and the bullshit. and the intention of having a pop at the formula companies os just that, to have a pop at the companies and not the people who use their product.
I think we should aim to rise above the hurtful comments whether they are formula = junk, or the car seat one or the nazi jibes or bf advocates are just doing it to be smug and because their lives are otherwise empty or generalisations are wrong but you lot are all rabid (not you pruni ) because generally they come from otherwise lovely posters who just have certain issues going on and genuinely can't see how hurtful those statements are or make mistakes.
it's not about you it's about them
I am not too good at this tbh andtend to get upset esp for some reason at the accusations about my intentions i.e. it's only to make mefeel smug. we all have our own personal buttons eh

hi chipmonkey, not seen you around in ages! I gave up pumping when dd was 18 mths! she finally stopped wanting ebm at nursery then.

I have been really helped by MN and people like Hunker, Tiktok, Mears et al and dozens of lovely posters, some of whom have even sent me help through the post or taken ds for an hour so I could get some rest! I've even had other MNers phone me and text me with lots of reassurance about the bfing.

So thanks!!!

Me, esp Tiktok, she gave me some great advice.

Me. Wasn't posting much at the time (hadn't mastered the typing while bf thing) but reading the threads on here helped me enormously.

Thank you, and keep going.

(and if you ever doubt that 'people like you make a difference, ask me to tell you some of the things I have been told in France about bfing)

LOL Collision, not deliberately but these things sometimes happen.

Hi Kiskidee! I gave up pumping at 14 months and they gave ds3 cows milk in the creche. I weaned him with surprising ease 2 months ago. Would have preferred him to self-wean but honestly think he would have bf till adulthood in that case!
I know the marketing etc has nothing to do with kind-hearted advice but wasn't sure why anyone would say they were put off bf by Hunker unless it was on a ff-marketing thread and there was a big fight!

psst you haven't put me off........but have you managed to find those bags yet? Sorry if I sound like I'm harrassing you but my boots ones are starting to get low. If you can't send them DON'T WORRY just let me know so I can buy some more in town when I go

I dont want people to stop people posting and helping about b/feeding

Without it, I would have given into the HV's "demands" to ff because dd was dropping down the weight % like anything.

She b/fed for 18 months and she is still skinny (so they say) but it would have been a loss to me to give up b/f on their advice and f/f and still end up with a slim daughter.

Cod - hunker says she thinks you are a cock.

Lurking on MN during late pregnancy gave me the confidence to work through bf problems I had early on. Lurking for the many hours whilst ds fed gave me more info and now at 21 months, I have read a lot of stuff about extended breastfeeding which reassures me it is completely normal. Also, without the stuff I have read on here, I might have listened to the health professionals under the mistaken belief that they knew about breastfeeding.

me

wasn't on MN when was having original problems with weight loss

but if i hadn't had MN I might never have tried to reduce ff and increase bf at 11 weeks - I had a lot of '[snort] how ridiculous, why don't you get your life back and put him on a 4-hour schedule' from my lovely relatives

and i might never have felt so good that I tried, or so normal, as according to my family i was as freakish as the rest of my lily-livered, bleeding heart generation

I'm still coming round to the idea of bfing my LO when it's born, so the more threads about it the better i think.

[yes, am flooded out! how xciting! new sofa! [completely wrong attitude emoticon]

have lost my old mobile (?at the allotment? possibly small mobile phone bush will grow next spring

I've not had actual help but knowing that loads of mnetters have bf for a long time has helped me feel better about bf dd. She's 2 next month and I'm still getting the comments from my twin sister about it being wierd etc. Thanks sis.
Not just from her but others too.

Mn has made me see how great it is.

I wish I'd had MN when I was bf, I may have got further than 6 weeks I managed. I am hoping to have another one and feel confident that it might actually work next time around because of the support I can get on her.

I do think though, that sometimes people are looking for "permission to stop". I certainly was. I wanted someone to say that if I decided to stop that would be OK too. I have been too frightened to say that to some people on MN because I don't want to be accused of not being supportive and encouraging someone to switch. Perhaps I worry about that unnecessarily. For the record, I would never encourage someone to stop but I would like to feel that I can tell someone who is in the depths of despair that stwitching does not make them a bad person.

twofalls, this is a valid concern and I can understand why you have it - but I think mumsnet usually gets it right.

If someone is having a hard time, and posts for help with breastfeeding in the midst of a difficult and maybe painful struggle, then I do think it is better to take them at face value and try to give them whatever practical suggestions possible. If it's done not in a gung-ho way, but supportively, then the way is left open for them to explore the option of not struggling any more, without worrying that they will be judged. They may judge themselves, but nothing anyone can say at that moment will stop them doing that.

I would never try to read between the lines, and wonder if someone is seeking 'permission' - if they want to know about stopping, and that this won't make them a terrible person, then they will have to ask a little more directly!

The vast majority of women in the UK are not short of people (friends, family, health visitors) who will support them switching to formula. In fact, as we see here every day, people will volunteer this suggestion without being invited!

I don't want to risk adding to that when the mother, in her own words, has made it clear she wants to bf, despite any agony she is going through. But if she asks for discussion on stopping, then most of us can help with that too.

yes twofalls that is true too, some people are no doubt looking for permission to stop.
i think it's particularly hard for dh/dp in the situation when women are finding bf difficult, what is the supportive thing to say?
tricky one.

choosy, oooh new sofa is everything ok? where are you staying?

was really glad whne wiht ds2 my mum todl me to stop
dont htink id ahve had ds3 if i had carried on tbh( who i then breatfed) so bottlefeeidng is NOT the endof the line

it is a tricky one and tiktok, I do think MN gets it right the majority of the time. I think the problem with family and friends is that unless they have actually been in the same position it is hard for them to empathise.

I remember being very supportive of my friend when she was going through a bf crisis, but I was childless at the time and didn't understand for one minute the complexity of her emotions.

My comments weren'tt a criticism, just a comment really about how difficult and sensitive it can be. For me, I felt that I had let the people who helped me down by stopping - after all the time and effort they had put in, I was worried they would think it had gone to waste. People may think the same on here, but you are right, you just cannot second guess what people are thinking, especially over an internet forum. I don't think there is any easy answer.

And harpsi, you are right. My DH just didn't know what to say for the best. If he supported me carrying on I said he was pressuring me and if he supported me switching I said it's because he was fed up of getting his own dinner. He couldn't win really!