Close to giving up breastfeeding - when does it get easier?

[Leftie624]

I have a 7 week old DS. He was born early at 36 weeks, had 6 days in neonatal and one night on the ward with me before we came home. He seems to be a good feeder from what I can tell; lots of nappies, gaining weight, latch is ok (had this checked when I had a problem with cracked nipples a couple of weeks ago).

But I am exhausted. It’s so much more intense and demanding than I realised. My older son was bottle fed at 3 weeks as trying to breastfeed him was an unholy mess so breastfeeding is completely new to me.

DS2 feeds ok in the day then settles to sleep and/or stays awake for a bit then sleeps. But at night...he seems to want to feed constantly and doesn’t sleep. He’ll nod off while feeding and i’ll put him down and he’s up again after 10/20 minutes wanting to feed. It feels like I can’t fill him up in the night. Is this normal?

He used to feed from about 7 till midnight but he would then settle and sleep. We’ve had nights where he’s fed every couple of hours as well. He doesn’t seem to want to sleep at night at the moment!

We sometimes have days like this too. He’s finally settled to sleep after feeding relentlessly/crying/bringing milk back and short naps from about 9pm last night.

I’ve tried a dummy and , out of desperation a bottle of formula a couple of times and he refuses to take either.

I keep reading that breastfeeding gets easier and I thought, by 7 weeks that things would be settling down by now. I’m reaching my limit with it and I have an 18 month old lively toddler to look after as well so opportunities to rest in the day are pretty much non existent. Plus i’m feeling guilty that i’m Not able to give him as much attention as i’m constantly attached to his younger brother :(. It feels to be honest like I’m letting them both down.

I guess what i’m asking is does breastfeeding ever get easier? If so, when?!

It's one of nature's cruel tricks that breastfeeding is hardest at the beginning when you're tired and sore and are least able to cope with it.

Glad it's working out a bit better for you.

Things are now much, much worse. My nipples are mangled beyond belief with cracks, holes and bleeding. Took DS to hospital yesterday as he was vomiting blood. They’ve diagnosed mild reflux and we both have thrush. The blood he’s ingested from me so it’s nothing serious thankfully as it completely freaked me out.

I’m seeing a lactation consultant today and have an appointment at the breast specialist unit on Tuesday morning - GP referred me when she saw the state of my breasts at our post natal check.

I can just about withstand the pain to keep feeding, but only just as I am a bit of a wimp. expressing is too painful and he won’t take formula. The only thing keeping me going is that his weight gain is still good and despite the thrush he’s thriving.

Anyone else had problems with thrush? How did you manage? I’ve been keeping my breasts moist to help with the cracks but that is the worst thing for thrush and has probably made things a lot worse so i’m not sure what to do now.

LC thinks he might have a tongue tie, hospital doctor didn’t think so but we’re waiting to see the tongue tie clinic.

Did you get medication for the thrush? For both of you? That should help. For the cracks you can get nipple shields from boots or amazon and they can help you continue to feed while letting your nipples heal. If you are on Facebook, find the group yummy mummy breastfeeding or something like that and ask to join. They are sometimes quite militant about BFing but very very knowledgeable and supportive to keep you going. It sounds like his latch hasn’t been quite right if your nipples are sore and damaged so hopefully that can be sorted with the support you get. You’ve come so far and made a huge difference to your little boy so I hope you can continue with the right support.

• @Isadora2007* thank you for replying and for your advice and kind words. You were spot on, the lactation consultant thinks the main problem is position and attachment with a possible tongue tie.

We’ve spent some time this morning working on it and with the adjustments she’s suggested feeding is already less painful and the damage to my poor mangled nipples is starting to repair very slowly.

We’ve still got a way to go and I need to get us both swabbed to make sure we definitely haven’t got thrush as she was clear that a diagnosis shouldn’t be made without this.

So we battle on!

Oh bless you @Leftie624 I hope the new positioning is helping. I believe reducing sugars in your diet can help reduce thrush but definitely make sure you get the swab results and if either you or baby have thrush please make sure they treat you both. The breastfeeding network have good leaflets you can download to show any HCP as they are awful for just treating baby or just treating mum when actually both need treated.
Well done for hanging in there, what a lucky wee chap you have.