Stopping breastfeeding to avoid surgery- advise please!!!

[Taylortaylor]

Looking for some insight and reassurance please as I’m just too emotional now and can’t think straight. Really long so apologies in advance.
DS3 was born in April, is currently 9 weeks old and is the most beautiful little thing.
I had a fairly horrendous induction and 5 hours after his birth, I had an awful post partum hemorrhage which shocked the life out of me. I stayed in for an extra night to establish feeding but I felt awful from all the blood loss and the constant feeding.
When he was 3 days old, I suffered another hamorrhage and was back into hospital, my iron went to 8 just as my milk started to come in. DS lost over 10% birth weight, wasn’t pooing and very lethargic. I felt like I was hit by a train but I was determined to keep going so I pumped (always hated pumping) stayed in bed for a week, did skin to skin; everything really to try get supply up and get him gaining weight. It was the worst, most difficult time and I am still traumatized from it all.
He started to gain slowly but I wasn’t getting any better. I was taking 2galfer a day which made me so constipated, I was on antibiotics for infection and bled constantly all while I pretended life was fantastic to my other DC. When he was 21 days old, I had scan which showed retained placenta and had D&C but unfortunately I had another bad hemorrhage while in surgery so they had to stop and by all accounts, things got hairy. In recovery, they told me a small piece of placenta remained in the lining but they had given me tablets to contract uterus and were hopeful that it would pass. I was so unwell again with really low iron, cramps and my supply was shot. DH had to go back to work and I was back at home with 3 kids trying to breastfeed a screaming hungry baby with such low supply. I ended up supplementing with formula, I knew my poor baby was starving. He settled so much better after a bottle. I was still pumping but getting nothing so just kept feeding as much as I could and gave 2 bottles a day to help fill him up. Dreaded the comments about how small he was 😭 from people. I never planned on giving bottles but felt we had made the best of a bad situation, fed on demand and gave bottles too. He always needed boob to comfort him.
Fast forward to week 9 and I went back for scan to be told placenta was still there and doctor would do hysteroscopy and was confident it would be removed. Had the procedure but same thing happened, I started to bleed and doctor said area in uterus was very aggravated and he was unable to remove it. He took out pieces but I could see on camera the tissue was still there.
While I still had my legs in stirrups and feeling vulnerable, he said if I stopped breastfeeding, my cycle would return and I would shed lining which would remove remaining tissue. I was shocked and didn’t say anything.
He went to inform my husband (waiting outside) it didn’t work, that surgery was required, spoke about risks and also said it to him about if I stopped feeding, I wouldn’t need surgery. As neither of us commented on it really or questioned him, Dr booked the surgery and told me to come back in Monday for pre-op and surgery is scheduled for Wednesday. I have to take some tablets too (not sure but think they open cervix).
When driving home after procedure, my husband and I discussed what he had said. Initially I was saying no way but my DH felt that I’ve been through so much, my supply is so low, baby is content with bottle. Why have another surgery risking perforating my uterus or another serious hemorrhage so he has got me thinking. I know another anesthesia would affect my supply again and I honestly don’t have it in me to try pumping, non stop feeding etc as my other DC have waited patiently for the last 3 months for their mum back.
Any suggestions what I should do? Hospital and this doctor are not going to fully advise to give up feeding but I know that they think Mother Nature should take over and stop medical intervention. I love feeding, never imagined stopping this early and I actually don’t know how to comfort a baby without sticking a boob in it’s mouth. Every time
I think of it, I cry my eyes out. I’m so emotional and I can’t think straight.
I have no family to ask and we don’t really have much support so even going for another surgery on Wednesday is a burden as I’ve no one to drop/collect kids and my DH will have to take more time off work and mind baby in the hospital until I come around to feed him.
If I did stop, I know I’ll be waiting up to 3 months for cycle to return while the retained placenta stays in my uterus. Don’t know how that will work either.
Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

What evidence does the surgeon have of cycle being able to resolve the issue if his own tentative with tolls haven't? There is absolutely no medical literature I could find on this as retained placenta so long after birth is quite unusual. It is trapped or embed in uterus wall, I doubt the normal cycle will solve it. I doubt this doctor! What was he? A OB/Gyn or surgeon?

Waiting for a cycle to resume could take weeks or months putting you at risks of infection, or worse endometriosis.
The only treatment is manual removal under anaesthetics.

Thanks a mill for reply, he is OB/GYN. I have heard good reports about him although I only ever had midwife care in any of my dealings with hospital until now. When I first came out of recovery following D&C, another junior (female) doctor said it as well to me when giving me drugs to contract my uterus. She said piece of retained tissue was small and I’d pass it in my first cycle. I replied that I mightn’t have period for almost 9 months based on previous pregnancies and she said quite abruptly, you could stop feeding to get your cycle to return. I was furious and complained to my GP about her.
I thought following D&C, then those tablets and then a hysteroscopy would have surely worked. It is embedded in uterine wall but he said when I shed lining in my first period, it will come out. As I didn’t question him, I can’t say that he is definite about it but said it to me and then separately to my husband. When completing hysteroscopy, he said there was no blood flow to the tissue which I take means it won’t cause another infection.
Yes I totally agree it’s going on way too long. Anyone else I have heard with retained placenta seems to have it dealt with practically immediately. I’ve spent 9 weeks waiting for this to be over and it’s definitely affecting my health and I’m worried as my mood is low.

Do you know what procedure they did? Was is Myosure?
www.myosure.com/patients/myosure-right-me
It has shown 100% success in removing retained products of conception

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30388609

Often periods return before breastfeeding ends, many parents have been caught out that way, so you might be able to cut down to say two or three feeds a day, feed for comfort rather than hunger rather than cut it out. If you are already mixed feeding it might return much sooner than it did with your other two.

Leaving a piece of placenta in for months for a period to clear it? Nope nope nope.

Go back and get a second opinion. That dr is bonkers and you need to have it removed surgically.

Oh OP I can sympathise so hard

I don't know if any of this helps but
I had a roughly 3 inch size piece of retained placenta and they booked me in for surgical removal a day later.
This was my second surgery post-birth due to various complications and similarly, all the upheaval made BF extremely difficult and stressful.
As unpopular as it might be on MN, I'm a believer of happy mum, happy baby. So we decided to switch to formula to give me time to recover and make sure DD was fed. I continued to hand express tiny little bits here and there when I was in the shower etc just to keep the milk flowing even a tiny bit and a week after surgery, started to slowly reintroduce the breast into her feeding routine.
Now at 8 weeks old, I am managing to get enough milk to do at least two feeds a day on the breast and am gradually being able to do more and more now that I've had time to heal.
It's so so hard but please try not to feel guilty about it and do speak up if you feel the advice you are getting isn't great.

Thanks so much for replies. TheBrockmans that sounds the best option for me but with already low supply, would it be possible my milk will dry up? If he got a bottle in morning, mid morning, afternoon and evening; do you think I could offer boob after a bottle, then for comfort when unsettled and during the night (he doesn’t wake often at night, maybe once or twice he will have quick feed). I know I’ll be doing it because I want the emotional attachment and comfort it provides but that’s ok by me Having looked it up, I understand if breastmilk isn’t main food source, period would return so that would suit me.
Lilies I’m not under NHS as I live in another country but 1st procedure was D&C under general and 2nd procedure was hysteroscopy where I was awake and could see the screen and the clamps he used to grab/ pull the tissue from the uterine wall. I started to bleed but not a heavy hemorrhage like I had in theatre.
Everyone that says having surgery is the right option, retained product will be removed definitely this time but I honestly don’t think I’m able for another surgery. I think it would stop me feeding altogether as loudnoises said, it took a week to recover. I don’t have another week of recovery left in me. Being at home doing school runs, homework, activities, dinners and generally having a baby to care for just means that I have to get up after the surgery and start back into mum mode. My DH would take 1 day off, the day of surgery but would end up working at night all night and straight back to work next day. As much as I’d love it to be all over, I really think it would stop my BF journey completely.

MustardScreams he has booked me in for surgery. I’ve pre-op appointment is in the morning but I don’t want another surgery and the fact that he said on two occasions to bring on cycle would eliminate need for surgery, thats why I’m contemplating it. But I know he would never 100% advise to stop as it’s not guaranteed and he is telling a fragile mum to give up breastfeeding and he won’t directly say that but he has put it in my DHs head.