infected carcked nipples, blocked ducts and an abcess - reaching end of BF tether

[weeonion]

evening folks- i think i have posted on this topic so many time with problems! exclusively BF for 12 weeks.
major apologies - feeling really down and weepy - we set off to ireland yesterday for a months holiday. before we went - my left boob with cracked nipples was soengorged that no milk woudl come out. asa result -we spent last night in A&E - i have developed a breast abcess and had to get it lanced. awful time - the staff's inital suggestion was to stopbreastfeeding right away and werent prepared to try and get the blocked ducts unblocked. i had to ring my bf specialist in glasgow in her bed and get her to talk to them. i overheard the staff saying that i was just being selfish to keep trying - my wee sis nearly busted them at that.
ihad cracked nipples from last week and have to express off the milk to keep the ducts goign and not allow the abcess to fill again. now they have becone infected.- the nipple is so swollen and there is pus coming out of the cracks. i have antibiotics for teh abcess. i am in so much pain toight - and find it hard to be on holiday at the mo.
12 weeks feeding - a bloody nightmare and yet i still dont want to give up.

aww weeonion

stop apologising for feeling down and weepy, you are an amazing woman and have done incredibly to get this far. you are entitled to be feeling like this

You poor thing

I know you said you rang your bf specialist - what did they recommend? FWIW - and this is coming from an avid bfer - if you choose to say enough is enough, then I think you should give yourself a bloody great pat on the back and the front for bfing for so long. Hope the antibiotics kick in soon, and you have a good holiday

i can only imagine how hard this must be and think you are amazing for keeping this going so long and for your determination to succeed.

nothing constructive to add though, sorry, other than to send you a virtual hug!

just don't pat your front too hard, it might make them worse

Awwwwwww crap . That's an understatement....

It's not fair, and how fucking dare they say you're being selfish - where do people get off with this idea that somehow we're just doing it for ourselves? That a desire to breastfeed your child should only go so far?

You're a better woman than I am weeonion, and more power to you for doing this on your terms. Hopefully the abs will kick in quickly. I had a nipple infection in week 2 which blocked up my right side. It was nasty though obv not on your scale, but the abs kicked in within a couple of days and made expressing much easier.

If you decide to stop we'll be cheering your hard-earned 12 weeks from the rooftops. If you decide to continue then we'll be cheering about that as well. The key is that you choose for you and your dd and are supported in that and anyone that tries to sway you one way or another can go jump.

weeonion, i am so sorry to hear you are having such a nightmare, when you are meant to be relaxing as well.

completely understand what you say about not wanting to give up, apart from all the reasons to stop/continue it must just feel as though it would be such a waste of your struggles and efforts. i had a horrible time with a bad latch which damaged nipples, affected my supply and ds was really properly skinny for ages. it did start to get much better from about 14 weeks, was awful with v young baby as i was so bewildered anyway.

also at the selfish comment. IMO you are being entirely selfless carrying on to give your baby the best start inspite of the adversity.

no-one would bat an eyelid if you gave up now, and the important thing is that whatever you do, you keep yourself well in body and mind.

Just posted this on the pn thread...

oh WO you poor love! An absess!!! AHHHHHH!!! I'm sure little C will be overwhelmed oneday when you tell her how much you went through to give her the best start. I am so at the crap nurses. I CANNOT BELIEVE they have the cheek to say you were being SELFISH!!! I could fly over there and wack them for you!! What, 12 weeks of pain and tears and upset and agony to feed your baby, yeh, really selfish of you!!! Lucky you know what you're talking about and could ring Glasgow. And remember the mn mafia is behind you! Hope you get better soon lovely. Keep us updated on how you're getting on. xxxxxxxx

... thought I'd put it here coz of your limited internet access etc.

Also wanted to say one of the reasons I didn't want to give up when it got really bad was that I didn't want it to end like that iyswim and have all that baggage too. That and being completely bloody-minded and stubborn kept me at it. So I can -kind of- understand where you're coming from when you say you still want to keep at it.

You are one amazing lady.

And it's extra crappy that it's all happened on holiday for you. Grrrr...

WO - agree with daisy. How dare they say you are selfish for wanting to continue bfing your lovely DD!! Hardly selfish to put yourself through it for your DD's sake.

You have done so well to feed her for the past 12 weeks despite having so many problems and good on you for not wanting to give up.

Don't have much advice, but just wanted to send you a big {{{hug}}}.

I've got a breast nurse thingy if you would like me to lend it to you, you can freeze it or warm it depending on your needs if it would help?

A few people have posted on here about silver healing, I think you can buy breastpads with silver in them.

When I had cracked nipples jelonet was recommended to me.

Get loads of ibuprofen/paracetomol etc down you. You can take them together I think.

It's trixymalixy btw. Had a bit of a harry potter name change.

weeonion,

your doing a superb job, and if you really do not want to give up then don't as you will be riddled with guilt. You can and you will get thru this.. you are clearly determined enough.

PLEASE buy a (or 2) silverlon pad.. this will help heal the abcess AND nipples naturally and in no time at all.. they are amazing. This may be all you need to help you over this hurdle.. then on the other side you will experience the joys and fun that comes with breastfeeding.

You are truly doing a brilliant job and it will pay off without doubt. Turn a blind ear to those Negative comments and hear just what you want to hear > AND be very proud, you deserve to be.

hi folks, a huge thanks to you all for your advice, messages and support. we are still going with bf on one side and leaving teh bad side. the abcess is still here and have now been to 3 different hospitals to get it sorted. have got a mega pump at home to try and keep the milk going but my supply is so reduced. really hope i can get it back. i have another appt on monday with a scan and if abcess is still there - wil be assessed.
family have been more than fab. so supportive and kind and god love them - they have all seen mor of my boobs and nipples than ever before!

anyhow - thanks again folks. yr encouragement helps to keep going

hi calin - i was just aboutto post o this again.

i wentto hospital on monday - had a boob scan to check the abcess. it is still there but well down. they gave me more antiinflammoitories.

i had been able to express some milk off this side and we seemed t be keeping it going ok and was feeding off the other side. i tried to feed her yesterday off the bad side and it has now gone back to as bad as it was last week. hardened and no milk moving despoute cabbage leaves, cold compresses and warm flannels. agony again.

i want to keep going for another 3 weeks so she will have had 4 months of bf but dont think i can keep this up witha new problem every week - most of which i know stem from poor latching / positioning. we cannot get her on ok - even teh specialist on monday was a bit flumoxxed by it.
ah well