Breastfeeding and expressing

[BKJ89]

Hello lovely MNers

I've posted a couple of times before and always found people's advice to be fair and helpful so thought I'd come back on again to see what opinions are about my dilemma.

I will be a first time mummy in October and I'm a little apprehensive about the idea of breastfeeding. Hubby is very keen which I totally understand as it's best for baby however, having never come from a family of breastfeeders, it's not something that I have ever really considered. I was hoping to express straight from birth so that baby is getting the nutrients that they need without me being the one to be solely relied upon for feeding - that sounds way more selfish than it's meant to. I also want hubby to be able to bond with our little one and feeding him/her is something they can share if I express.

Can I express straight from birth or do I need to breastfeed first to be able to? Has anyone else experienced this?

I don't think the milk will come in without a baby feeding. I have fed 5 babies myself for over a year each but I'm not a medical expert or anything. That sounds like you will be getting the worst of both worlds. All the hassle of sore nipples , expressing etc without the benefits of just being able to wake up and feed , lovely quiet time with baby etc . It will probably be easier just to bottle feed I don't know what an expert would say? Hope all goes well for you with the little one and you work our what's best for you xx

Everytime baby feeds you'll have to wake up and express too. So it's still time consuming until they are bit older.

Until bf is well established expressing won't be easy or produce enough imo.
A pump isn't your baby stimulating your supply. At the beginning little and often is needed. Give it a try!! It isn't always a stressful experience!

So the advice is not to express until 6 weeks post partum as your baby will spend this time trying to increase your supply. You could solely express but it is hard work and will take extreme dedication. Usually only premature babies mothers who have to pump from the start, as there’s risks of blocked ducts, mastitis etc seem to increase.

You would need to express every 2 hours to start, would probably be discouraged due to low amounts you express and some women never express much despite a good supply. My child can feed directly in around 20 minutes but I take more like 50 minutes to express a partial feed. I supplement with formula as I hate being unable to leave the house frequently as I need to pump.

You will predominately be the baby’s sole career, others can and should help by changing, cuddling, burping etc. Getting them to feed when you’re trying to establish breastfeeding will be extremely difficult and might set you up to fail. Which could make you feel guilty, I felt awful for “failing” my baby who wasn’t putting on weight despite getting breast milk and formula.

Perhaps go to a breastfeeding group or NHS run “lesson” ahead to see if they can give you the answers to how difficult etc You can express colostrum from 36-37 week pregnant so ask your midwife for a kit.

To maintain a full milk supply you’ll need to pump both sides at least 8 times in 24 hours, including between midnight and 5am (that’s the most important bit) plus sterilise everything and manage storage.

Some people do it and I think they are heroes! But if you can breastfeed directly it is much simpler and also your baby’s saliva will signal to your body to produce antibodies in your breast milk to fight anything their immature immune system is currently fighting.

If you can manage it would be best to feed colostrum (the more concentrated milk produced for the first few days) directly as it’s so sticky that it’s hard to pump (it sticks to the pump parts) and hand expressing works but, again, if you Can just latch the baby directly it will make life easier.

You don’t have to decide now. You may decide to start off breastfeeding and take it week by week or day by day. There is plenty dad can do to be involved that doesn’t include feeding.

Good luck!

So the advice is not to express until 6 weeks post partum as your baby will spend this time trying to increase your supply

It's more establishing your supply than increasing - most women actually have oversupply when their milk comes in. But yes, you need to feed consistently when the milk first comes in for the first six weeks or so because this is the key period for your body regulating how much milk is needed.

Adding expressing in the early days is more work, not less. In the first few days when you have colostrum expressing it is slow as it comes in minute amounts. Once mature milk is in, you would have to express every time the baby would have fed or at least every few hours anyway.

It's honestly a lot easier to just have baby on boob while you lie down with closed eyes/sit and binge watch Netflix than it is to faff with bottles and pumps and sterilising and warming. Expressing is great if baby won't latch at all or occasionally later on so you can go out but it makes the newborn period harder not easier. If you want to take the mental stress off a bit, you could consider mix feeding and your partner giving a bottle of formula a day or so - although again, I would wait a week or so to introduce this so as to try and minimise the chances of bottle preference.

Thank you so much for the replies. I hadn't even considered that I would need to express as much as baby feeds - I guess I was naively thinking that I would be able to express a few bottles and be able to just keep a supply available for when he/she needed it.
I guess the organiser in me wants to be able to see exactly how much milk baby is getting in the early days which you can see from bottles, but not from breast. That said, it sounds like I might be better to try with the breastfeed and see how I get on. The pro's certainly outweigh the cons!

It can be done - I did it when DD couldn’t feed conventionally. It’s the best and absolute worst of both worlds to be honest. I did it for months and months. You would have to express every 2-3 hours day and night to get it established, then 3-4 hours to keep it going. That’s on top of baby along you up. My baby liked her milk hotter than body temp so along with the freezing, refrigerating, washing and sterilising bottles and cleaning the pump several times a day, there was also heating milk to exactly the right temp without destroying the fat molecules. Looking back I don’t know how I did it for so long now (nearly a year). It was exhausting.

Apologies for slightly incorrect terms.

Watching babies weight and nappy output tends to be a handy indicator, as a fellow organiser I unhelpfully clock watched which I then tried to compare against others.

It can be stressful and hormonal, try not to put too much pressure on yourself now and just see how you get on x

Exclusively expressing is seriously hard work. I did it for about a week (poorly newborn in hospital - thankfully was able to get him feeding directly thereafter) and it just about finished me off. Am full of admiration for pp who managed nearly a year!

OP, have a read of the Kellymom website for lots of good info on breastfeeding, and look into the telephone helplines run by the Breastfeeding Network, La Leche League and others - they're a wonderful resource. If you do antenatal classes that may help you too, but best of all is face-to-face support so try to find out if there are any local peer support groups or similar (ask your midwife as a starting point). Best of luck!

Once you have seen your baby 'milk drunk' you will know their signs of being full!!

Following this with interest.
Is it feasible, once BF is established, to express, or collect from the other side during feeds, enough for DP to give a bottle once a day? I am hoping that he will be able to do the early evening 'shift' to give me a good nap so he can then have a normal night's sleep, as much as possible. I know mixed feeding would be an option there too and I'd be happy with that but if I can collect enough during the day anyway it seems I may as well do that than mess about with making up bottles?

Heyha, yes, in principle but it depends how much you tend to "leak" from the other breast! Some people let down loads from the other side while feeding, some not much. But yes you can absolutely use breast shells and/or a Haakaa pump for no-effort collection of milk for feeding later.

Exclusive pumping is not a half-way house---it's a really tough option which basically involves all the downsides of FFing and all the downsides of BFing. And that's assuming you actually respond well to a pump (a lot of women don't).

If your position is "I'm fine with FFing, but it might be nice to give a bit of breastmilk in the early weeks," then exclusively pumping might be fine. If you want your child to receive breastmilk long-term, be advised that most exclusive pumpers quit before long, and I don't blame them. It's a load of work and very stressful.

If you want to breastfeed but are worried about being tied to the process or feel that you would like a bit more of an "in-between" option--start off breastfeeding, introduce a bottle of expressed milk at 4 weeks, and then introduce a daily bottle of formula when the baby is a couple of months old. If your baby will take formula and a bottle, you can enjoy some of the flexibility of combination feeding and you will also be able to relax in the knowledge that you will be able to stop breastfeeding at any time if you start to hate it or feel excessively tied down by it.