Stopping breast feeding my 18 month old!

[Herby48]

My son has been breast fed on demand until he was about 16 months - this is when I decided to stop feeding him in the day. He fed so much just for comfort, he also refused a bottle and hates all milk and milk alternatives even in a sippy cup. Now I have decided to stop feeding him at night. We co-sleep (most of the time, he often starts the night in his room but end ups in our bed when I’m too tired) and he feeds a lot in the night! So 4 nights ago I decided to stop, after bath time we had stories and water in my bed and then I told him my milk had gone and we had a cuddle and had his teddy that he loves. He cried quite a lot and made a bit of a fuss but did fall asleep on our bed after about 20 mins. He woke up 5-6 times that night and cried a little bit but gave him his teddy and sung him back to sleep. So all in all it was a successful night! I really thought it would get easier every night but basically every night since then has been a little bit harder. Last night was especially bad with lots of tears and couldn’t calm him down. He eventually crashed out but every time he woke would get so upset. He would eventually calm down if he was lying on me, but the other nights he was fine with just laying next to me. I know it must be hard and confusing for him as he associates me with feeding, but I don’t really have any other options as my partner is self employed and works very long days I can’t really ask him to do the nights. I just wondered if anyone has done anything similar and has any advice? I obviously can’t go back on my decision now and I do think he will get through it eventually but I’m concerned now as it’s just getting worse!

I've been there, you have to keep going and it will get easier. The tough bit is that he can still smell your milk. Could your partner take over at weekends? It's only for a short while and you could make sure he gets a lie in. I found wearing an inaccessible top helped as ds wouldn't paw at me so much then. I think you've got the right approach with offering comfort etc as it's too harsh to stop him from coming into your bed at all.

Thank you! Yes I’ve been wearing a high neck top so that’s definitely helped. I didn’t know how else to do it apart from in our bed really as I didn’t like the idea of just putting him in his cot with no comfort, but once we’ve got through the no feeding I will attempt to get him in his cot. Yes my partner can hopefully do more at the weekend, but DS is so attached to me it’s likely to make things worse at first. Just so hard but I know I am ready to stop feeding

Sounds like you're doing great and it will get better soon. I did the Jay Gordon night weaning method with ds1 around 14 months (was tough, but it helped thinking that I was there to support him to learn how to sleep). Not looking forward to doing it with ds2 as it's such hard work....but yeah it's very tough having to do it on your own I'm with you on that one!

Best of luck it'll all be worth it soon, it's amazing how much more fun you can have with them in the daytime when you're not exhausted!

Have just read Jay Gordon night weaning, and feel like that could work. As at the moment there is still a lot of contact between me and DS and he has still been occasionally falling asleep on me, just not feeding. So maybe I need to do a gentle approach but be stricter with having him just next to me. Thank you for your messages it really helps just having some encouragement!

I did Jay Gordon and it did help. It sounds to me like you're doing brilliantly already but it is tough to feel they're getting more upset. I night weaned at 22 months and it took five nights of worse followed by gradual but constant improvement. Are you still feeding in the day?

Happy to help, it's good motivation for me in my attempts to stop bedsharing! Best of luck for tonight.