Help me increase my milk supply for my last baby

[MaverickSnoopy]

This is long but please try and stick with it. I promise I've used paragraphs but I'm on the app and i know sometimes it removes them!

I have 3 DC and each of them lost more than the desired amount of weight in their first week despite constant feeding. Never managed to get more than a few drops of colostrum/milk didn't come in until day 4. Have had low milk supply with all of them and so mixed fed them once it was clear they weren't getting what they needed from me and no amount of bf'ing was improving things. All 3 had tongue tie (first 2 weren't cut).

DD3 is my last and is now 4.5mo. After a brilliant bf'ing start (loads of wet and dirty nappies) she was readmitted to hospital with a 14% weight loss (also had an infection). They put her onto specialist formula also because she was diagnosed with cmpa. I also had an infection and once out of hospital I cut out dairy but my supply has never recovered (during admission I was expressing lots).

I bf her first and then she has formula but she will only bf for 5 mins and then polish off 180ml formula. I can't seem to increase this 5 mins. This is my aim.

I am a busy mummy and run pretty ragged with 7yo with disabilities and 2yo who is pretty hard work at the moment who is also potty training. I have time to sit and feed but not hours and hours to sit and do skin to skin. Nonetheless I have tried many times when DH is home but it doesn't make a difference. Also tried fenugreek, oats and lots of fluids but it doesn't do anything. I've been expressing 6 times a day which is incredibly challenging when you factor in school run/toddler and everything that comes with it. I know it's not compatible but I've never got more than 20ml in total when expressing. I have sought support from breatfeeding professionals who have been great and I know about compressions, bf/formula/express, switch feeding and efficient milk removal. I do all of that but she still won't go past 5 mins of feeding. I can't travel anywhere as I don't drive and our little local bus doesn't fit a double buggy so am trying to do this at home.

I have tried bf'ing when she's due her formula and also well in advance so that she's not ravenous. With the latter sometimes she humours me but still won't go past 5 mins, other times she screams at me for trying too soon. I have also tried just not giving formula and just offering the breast and it simply doesn't work. Obviously I'm not starving her and give formula in the end.

I feel like I need an overall plan for how to increase her 5 min feed and how to either remove 1 bottle at a time or reduce the amount at each feed. I don't know where to start.

I am very accepting that this might be it and I'm grateful for what I can give her at all. I just really want to give her more. I'd be happy with 50/50. Atm though it feels like I'm giving her very little.

Thank you if you've managed to read to the end!

Honestly? It's probably not going to be what you want to hear, but in your position I'd stop torturing myself and either feed her yourself for the time you can or switch to just formula feeding. It doesn't make you less of a mum in any way and with her having cmpa things can be difficult enough. You may have to accept that things won't change and stop being so hard on yourself and your body.

Hi, it sounds like you are doing so much, well done that must be exhausting especially with the other children to care for too. Do you have a sling at all? One thing you could try is carrying her in skin to skin while you are dashing about. Another is the timing of feeds and expressing, you could try one expression between midnight and two am when prolactin is the highest. If you can carry her in the sling and catch the bus to a group it might help with tips for latch and positioning, some gps will prescribe domperidone for increasing milk supply, but this is not appropriate alongside some health conditions. Hope that helps, pea x

You're amazing op and doing so well. My advice would be to bf as much as you can. Try not to stress or worry about how much she's getting and just top up with formula as needed.
Make sure you drink tons and tons of water and just try to relax about it.

I agree with other posters about the stress - it won't be helping and you're doing an amazing job under all that stress. I totally understand the desire to "succeed" at breastfeeding especially on your last baby but maybe you could reframe "success" in your mind - giving your baby any breast milk is going to be good for her - you're doing a great job. And you don't have to stop feeding just because you're combi feeding - you can feed just as long as anyone and there's a massive satisfaction to still
Giving some breastmilk to a 2 year old if that's what you want. Having said that, if you do want to increase your supply, brewers yeast was the only thing that worked for me. Also accepting that some people can pump and some can't (and the more stressed you are the less you are likely to get in my experience). It doesn't mean there isn't milk, it can just mean you can't perform for a pump (I've always struggled with pumping and still exclusively bf). So concentrate on putting her to the breast as much as possible - even just to let her suckle after formula, skin to skin and power pumping for boosting supply (it's about the stimulation rather than caring about what you get out - that's irrelevant). Have a look on kellymom and I think there is more info on power pumping)

Thanks all. I'm ever so grateful for the advice. I absolutely tortured myself with my first two. This time I'm much more accepting about it. Whatever quantity I give her I'm going to carry on until either she or I are ready. I think that right now though I'm more keen than ever to see whether giving her more is possible.

I love a sling and carried dd2 in it every day for about 6 hours! Unfortunately 3 bouts of pgp and sciatica during pregnancy and carrying dd2 so much in the sling has led to permanent sciatica that means I can often not walk much or use the sling much. I will certainly try carrying her at home a bit more and see if that helps. I wouldn't want to go out in it and risk being stranded though. Can get so bad sometimes I can't walk at all. Physio has done nothing

I asked the GP about Domperidone but was told categorically no as it's not licenced for that purpose. I was also told that most women don't really have a low supply at all and more or less just to get on with it.

DD3 just woke up and it's been a good 2 hours since she last ate (formula is normally every 3-4) so I offered her the breast - she sucked for about a minute, stopped and gave me the biggest grin and refused to latch at all. Kinda like "woah mum what are you doing?!". Then dd2 started having a tantrum and then a hundred things happened and now DD3 is on the playmat. Going to express again in a mo. Will look up power pumping at next nap time.

I don't actually feel stressed about breastfeeding and am just pleased that I haven't given up or stressed like I was with my last 2. I am however enormously stressed at the moment - I digress but I'm also setting up a new business, DH is about to embark on some work related training in home time, several disabilities between our children which is taking up a lot of time, we're beyond exhausted and have had constant (very bad) illness in our house since the start of December and we're getting a lot of grief from extended family for not fulfilling what they perceive as our duty of seeing them more often than we are. I'm not sure how I can reduce that sort of stress, although I know I need to. I'm thinking of sending dd2 back to her old childminder for a day a week as this might give me a bit of respite and more time to bond with dd3/skin to skin. Can't really afford it though.

OP, fennel tea had a spectaculor effect on me - worth trying definitely.

I was in a similar position to you years ago and with hindsight would not have persisted with pumping so long. It's exhausting and time consuming and just wasn't worth it.

You say you are run ragged, have 2 other small children, also disabilities, a new business, a husband that has taken on extra work responsibilities at this time (!), long term health problems from over doing it in the past, no car.. who are what is behind your need to be super woman? You have been incredible holding up till now, but respectfully, why? What do you get out of it? What are the costs to you and to each of your children? What is your DHs contribution to home life? How is he supporting you? I really think you need to give yourself a break.

Who can help you with the rest of your responsibilities so you can rest and feed constantly? Rope in everyone you can. Some of the ones complaining need to be putting in some hours.

Thanks ladies. DH is amazing at home, really. He is on his feet all day and comes in like my knight in shining armor - tidies, puts dinner on, makes lunches for next day (even for me), puts big ones to bed. He doesn't stop for the first time until 9pm. Unfortunately the extended family aren't the type who want to help, their the type who need to be waited on and one in particular who I love dearly needs a lot of time and support but we don't have that to give in person on a very regular basis, hence we don't have them over all the time, hence getting a regular telling off. We try to do our bit remotely though (calls and texts) but do still see them monthly. When DH stood up to them the other day and told them all of the above was "I don't want to hear it". Those who can help do and are great, even just a friendly phone call helps. I digress though....

Why do I do it? Well, I want to breastfeed. I don't actually want to be superwoman. I just want to breastfeed. When I had my first I did manage to increase my supply and breastfed exclusively from 3-6 months. It was wonderful and it's a different sort of closeness that I found than from bottle feeding. I also want she and I to have the health benefits from it.

I can't really imagine that not breastfeeding would free up that much time. I suppose that take away the expressing and it would free up some time, but I can't see it taking away so much that I'd suddenly have all this extra time.

I've tried fennel tea in the past and think I've got some in the cupboard actually. I forgot about that. Will give it another go!

I hope the fennel tea helps OP. Remember to be kind to yourself. I'm pleased your DH is a good'un!

I tried power pumping yesterday and amazingly managed to express 50ml in one go by the end of the day. Unheard of for me. Unfortunately I've managed to give myself a milk blister (I think) - feel quite sick and not well so now in bed.

I just wanted to update and say thank you to everyone who took the time to comment.

I have been power pumping (twice a day at the weekend and once a day during the week). It's enough to give her 200ml every other day and she is now feeding on average for 10 mins at a time and sometimes longer. She is also happier to feed from me and is enjoying it more whereas before she was frustrated. A tooth has also popped through so I suspect she just didn't have the patience for extra effort. I still don't have enough to feed exclusively but I can accept that and am just grateful for what we have.