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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I really want to carry on bfing but I'm so fed up...

24 replies

bumperlicious · 05/07/2007 14:42

Shit fuckity fuck fucking bollox is what I want to shout at the moment!

Can't pinpoint the problem just the whole thing is taking it out of me emotionally and physically. And just as we though we were getting it right dd doesn't seem to be latching on to my right breast properly and though nipples are cracked it just fucking hurts.

And right now she just doesn't know what she wants. She keeps making out like she wants a feed then 5 mins later she is asleep or pulled off. The 5 mins laster she wants more. She is only 2 weeks old, but I am just really struggling, I dread having to feed her and it makes me not want to comfort her in case she wants feeding. Now I'm just so upset I can't see what I am doing because I am crying. Oh god that sounds so pathetic doesn't it? I really want to make this work. Just need some encouragement. To top it all off we were signed off by the midwife last friday and HV isn't coming until tomorrow so it's been a week without any support, really fucked off with the whole thing.

OP posts:

JerrySpringer · 05/07/2007 14:44

Oh poor you. Been there, and it feels pointless doesn't it - just like an uphill struggle.
Only advice I can offer it to keep on with it, it gets easier, honest.
And don't be too hard on yourself.

Someone knowledgeable will be along soon.

xxxxx

JodieG1 · 05/07/2007 14:46

You're doing great, you've been bf for 2 weeks and that's really good. Did you say your nipples are cracked? The lansinoh cream is very good for that, really is fab. Could you call a bf counsellor to help with the latch and or feeding problems? I'm sure someone on here will be able to help though but maybe you could call if you still need help. It could be that she's taking a lot in those 5 mins of feeding, my ds2 is like that and has been from birth, never feed for long but feeds often.

Cappuccino · 05/07/2007 14:47

go buy some lansinoh (sp?) for your nipples for a start - it is pricey but worth it (it might seem a lot but it is the cost I think of a couple of boxes of the formula you would otherwise be buying )

I have been there really I was weeping every time at 2 weeks and swearing at her for being hungry

but it gets better dd is 2 now and still feeds I am so glad I stuck it out

I can't make it hurt less but I can say, you are tired, it is hard, it is hard but it will not be like this for long

PrettyCandles · 05/07/2007 14:48

It's OK hun, really it is. Of course you're all in a mess right now - you've just had a baby. The first weeks are so up-and-down, physically and emotionally draining, and knackering.

Call a breastfeeding helpline. If it's got an option for help NOW, without a queue or referal, then go for it. If you can arrange to see someone face-to-face, then plan that as well.

You don't need to feed her everythim she asks. It's fine to cuddle her, jiggle her, get someone else to cuddle her, even pop your finger in her mouth (put it in nail-down, so the soft curve of the pad of your finger lies against her palate). Sometimes all they want is a little suck, rather than a feed.

Do you have any Lansinoh or Jelonet? Can someone dash out to Boots or Waitrose to get you some? Meanwhile rub some breastmilk on your nipples - soothing even if they're not cracked. Let it dry before you close your bra.

Hang on in there!

Original poster

bumperlicious · 05/07/2007 14:58

ok now know what she wanted. a really big poo! now feeding again. thanks for the replies.

my nipples aren't cracked, that why I thought we were getting it right. boobs are just really tender. have been to a bf support group which really improved things but seem to be having a relapse. doesn't help that she is suffering terribly from wind in her gut which means she (and consequently dh and i) aren't sleeping properly. seeing osteopath for 2nd time tomorrow. just having a shitty few days. is 2 weeks too early to start expressing off a feed?

OP posts:

Original poster

bumperlicious · 05/07/2007 15:00

ok, the other thing is every now and again she retches, not necessarily just after a feed either. is this reflux?

OP posts:

tiktok · 05/07/2007 15:06

All babies retch - it's called possetting, bump. You are having a hard time, that's for sure, but it is early days. Expressing at 2 weeks can be done, of course, but it is not necessarily a problem-solver - miss a feed at 2 weeks and you can have very uncomfortable time with engorged breasts as a result Your breasts are already tender....

Do call one of the bf lines, just for a chat.

Original poster

bumperlicious · 05/07/2007 15:06

Oh god, I wish she would just make up her mind!

OP posts:

Original poster

bumperlicious · 05/07/2007 15:17

i'm just not sure how much help a phoneline can be, esp since my problem seems to be the latch, i know the theory of how to do it, and am trying, but i need someone to watch. the bf counsellor on tuesday seemed to think we were doing ok. What I really needed was for my HV to come today or even earlier in the week like she was supposed to. Arghhh it's just everything getting on top of me at the moment.

Sorry

OP posts:

theUrbanDryad · 05/07/2007 15:24

do you have a baby cafe in your area? they really helped me loads...

Original poster

bumperlicious · 05/07/2007 15:27

No, none near here but thanks for the link.

OP posts:

PrettyCandles · 05/07/2007 15:28

If she's generating wind in her gut then you need to dreink fennel tea. Dr Stuarts botanical tea is a good make (Twining is feeble). You can also give her a teaspoonful or so a couple of times a day. Idid thi with ds1 and dd - dd was especially windy 'downstairs' - and it worked a treat.

PrettyCandles · 05/07/2007 15:29

Whoops - ds2 got hold of the mouse!

Also lie her on her back and play riding the bicycle and bunny hops with her legs to help the wind and poo move along and out.

MatNanPlus · 05/07/2007 15:31

Bump,

call the midwife number, even tho they signed you off they can still visit until day 28.

Alternatively go to the maternity unit and get them to watch you feed.

tiktok · 05/07/2007 15:33

Awww...PrettyCandles, don't suggest anything but breastmilk. 2 week old babies need breastmilk, without any herbal tea additions

theUrbanDryad · 05/07/2007 15:42

have you got a number for your community MW? assuming you got on well with yours, that is. mine was lovely, very pro bf-ing, and helped me when my HV turned out to be a bit rubbish...

Original poster

bumperlicious · 05/07/2007 15:43

dh is on his way back from work to rescue me from insanity. if the hv doesn't help with the latching on tomorrow then i will try the mw or a bfing line. over the weekend.

thanks for you advice. will try and get some fennel tea for me (yuk).

OP posts:

Original poster

bumperlicious · 05/07/2007 15:56

Another hv just rang me after i left a message earlier & is on her way round now!

OP posts:

MatNanPlus · 05/07/2007 16:04

Great Bump,

Hope she is helpful.

PrettyCandles · 05/07/2007 17:30

Tiktok, I respect your expert-ness and your advice utterly and do not intend to contradict you. I know that all the baby needs is breastmilk, the fennel tea is by way of 'natural medication'. Bumperlicious, if you choose not to give it to your dd, then just drinking plenty of it yourself may still help her.

BTW, you can sweeten it!

tiktok · 05/07/2007 17:35

'S okay, PC!

I know if any baby needed meds, no one would worry about it, and in that light, the odd teaspoon of fennel tea is not worth worrying about

I am very sceptical that the mother drinking fennel tea herself is going to affect the breastmilk in such a marked way that it actually medicates the baby but it's not going to do any harm, and people can try what they want

PrettyCandles · 05/07/2007 17:38

Yeah ,you have to drink it by the gallon.

Original poster

bumperlicious · 06/07/2007 16:55

Thanks for all your support yesterday. Think we were just having a bad couple of days. HV came round straight away after speaking to me on the phone, DH came home to rescue me and today we went to the osteopath and she has been more settled since then than she has in 2 days.

And today we had our first public feed! I was pretty anxious, but DD was good as gold, latched on painlessly and fed like a trouper!

Feel much better, I guess it's going to be up and down. Thanks again

OP posts:

MaeBee · 06/07/2007 20:26

hello,
i had real trouble bfing for the first 6 weeks, was unbelievably painful, felt like i was being tortured 10 times a day, without a break for night! and started to really hate feeding, i actually feared my lo waking up cos then he would be hungry and i would be in pain. the only sensible thing seemed to be to jack it in and ff.
but i didn't and 9 mths on we are still happily bfing! my boy hasnt been ill for a day in his life, and im so pleased i continued. and i truly sympathise with how bad it can be.i was sure it had to be something other than positioning but it wasn't, and it usually is the position.
i had a really good bfing counsellor who looked at my latch many times. the babycafe helped me loads cos i got to look at all these other women bfing and at the different positions they held their babies in. and i tried different positions...a centimetre one way or the other can make tons of difference. and as they grow you may need to alter your position slightly. i kept obsessive accounts of how painful the feed was or wasnt, and what position i was using.
ask other women who are bfing if you can watch, go to babygroups and get them to watch you too.
one of my biggest issues was my baby's mouth wasnt opening wide enough so he was sucking more on the nipple thanthe whole bit. they have to get the whole of the aerola (can't spell it!) in, NOT just the nipple. if you direct the nipple to the roof of the mouth, rather than to the back of the mouth, it can help. you shouldnt be able to see any of the bumpy bits when the baby is feeding! the babies lips should be flanged like a fish, not tucked in.
lansinoh is brilliant and you can get it on prescription, so if you are on benefits you can get it for free. i have two spare tubes if you live in leeds!
if it feels painful delatch and start again. i found this sooo hard to do cos i just wanted to get the feed over and done with, and the latching on was the most painful bit of all, but it was what taught me and him how to latch properly. you can break the latch by sticking your little finger in their mouth and breaking the suction, dont ever just pull out cos that can damage your nipple.
La Leche league have some info on breastfeeding which i found useful.
do try and carry on if you can, but dont beat yourself up if you can't. best of luck!

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