Should I go to a bf support group?

[Cakeandslippers]

Hi all
I've been breastfeeding my 4 week old dd and it was all going ok but seems to be getting harder by the day now.

I think I have a fast let down as she's often throwing herself off the breast within a minute or two of latching on, arching her back, coughing and sputtering. This was manageable but now she's started feeding for just a few minutes at a time (2-5 minutes with probably one longer feed of up to 25 minutes each day). This would be ok but sometimes I think she's always hungry, she's gone from being settled after a feed to never really settling, she's constantly rooting / sucking her hand and giving all the cues she's hungry but she'll either refuse to feed or just feed for a couple of minutes then cry for ages. The HV suggested she might have silent reflux but the GP made me feel a bit stupid for going in and told me just to wind her more (she's very windy i spend much of my day winding her as it is). It's hard because I'll often only get a couple of hours of sleep all night but split into 20 minute blocks which I'm finding quite tough.

Her latch was really good but it's started to be very shallow on one side and is getting quite sore, fine on the other side.

Any advice would be welcome... but i was considering going to a bf support group which seems to be the only support locally but I'm a bit nervous of what to expect... has anyone been to one, do you just turn up... what happens at them and do you think I'd look silly turning up (sorry just the GP has made me feel like I'm making a fuss over nothing). Thanks in advance!

Hello and congratulations on your new arrival Someone more knowledgeable on BFing will be along soon with advice but in the meantime I would say absolutely go along to a support group! Attending my local group was my first trip out alone with my DD and it was so helpful - a warm welcome, hot drink, advice, and reassurance! I returned week after week and made some good friends. I now volunteer for the charity. At the group I attended you just turn up and along with peer supporters (BFing mums who've received training) there is a BFing counsellor to help as well. I was really struggling as my daughter had tongue tie which was later diagnosed. I'm still BFing now and she's two! I also found the Kellymom website useful, good luck and let us know how you get on

Yes! Do it. My local one has coffee and biscuits and kind midwives and HVs and mummies who can help too. It was a lifeline when I was struggling. If nothing else you'll probably meet some local mums with babies about the same age as yours which can be good. Like pp I met some good friends at mine. (And bear in mind that they are also often struggling with feeding so there's solidarity! I just cried the first time I went ).

Can you try to replicate the position of the good side on the bad side latch wise? Are you holding her close in? Skin touching yours? That can help a bit I think.
I was never troubled with oversupply or fast let down but the standard advice for that seems to be to hand express a bit at the start of a feed to take the edge off for baby.
There are helplines available too

Thanks for your replies. We had a slightly better morning today (although back to the challenges this afternoon!).

I have tried to express a bit off before we start but it seems a bit hit and miss...I think my supply is a bit all over the place really which doesn't help - I just feel like I don't know what I'm doing! But I do feel reassured from your replies and will aim to get to a group.... challenge is getting out at a set time but it sounds like it might be worth it so will be brave! Thank you

Hope you are able to make it. I really enjoyed mine, found the advice helpful and it was nice meeting other mums in a similar situation and those further along the journey

Definitely go for all the reasons above.
I just feel I don’t know what I’m doing
Don’t worry - everyone (everyone!) feels like this. I’ve had loads of problems and now mixed feeding happily at 8 weeks. This forum is so helpful as are bf groups.
Ask for help all the time, listen to all the advice and then go with what works for you.
My one piece of advice (that might not work for you) don’t stay up half the night winding. If nothing is coming up maybe nothing is there. Winding isn’t always needed especially with bf babies. Get your sleep.

Last week I was you! Struggling to feed my baby after s good start that then seemed to change. This is my second breastfed baby but I felt all out of my depth suddenly. I went to a breastfeeding support group. Cried...quite a lot!! They made me tea, gave lots of good advice and I met some lovely mums. Things have been better this week but I’m hoping they’ll let me go back, just for the tea and company!! What I’m saying is, please do seek out a group for support...you don’t need to turn up on time and you DEFINITELY won’t be asking silly questions or made to feel silly, because breastfeeding is tough! You are doing a wonderful job and With support breastfeeding can turn into a real joy. Best wishes.

Thank you everyone, your nice messages have really helped me out this morning and makes me feel more like i should just go and talk to people! It is hard isn't it...i didn't think it would be easy but it never occurred to me how much can go wrong (or rather how many 'challenges' there can be).

I think that’s exactly the thing no one tells you about breastfeeding. Just because it’s ‘natural’ doesn’t mean it isn’t hard, or a huge learning curve. Sleep is pretty natural but look how hard babies find that! Go find a group, and chat to supportive friends: you’re doing great.