Why breastfeed past one?

[Lovingit81]

Really interested in people's opinions on this.

My boss (and let me stress a 'friend' as well, in the loose sense of the word) was chatting to me the other day. I have recently come back from my second maternity leave. DD is 14 months and I'm still breastfeeding her.

Boss asks me when I'm going to stop feeding. I reply saying I'm not sure. We have a rhythm going and she loves it and so do I (usually). I fed my DS until he was 18 months and weaned him gradually so I could get my periods back to get pregnant again. I told her I'd like to get to 18months. I told her it was great for them, a great way of bonding. I have a strong breast cancer hereditary link in my family and like the fact that the longer I breastfeed for the better my chances of not getting breast cancer. My DD finds it very comforting and I love that. It feels right.

I mentioned that the WHO recommends feeding until at least two years and she launched into a discussion about how this was only for developing countries. We had a slight argument about it (although both were reserved as we were in work) and then moved on.

She is a very defensive person with a lot of troubles in her life but she is usually a very good boss, good person and a reliable friend albeit someone very much involved in her own world ( a my way or the highway type of person).

So please tell me your opinions. If you breastfed past one year why did you do it and what do you think about the developing countries comment?

I really don’t understand why anyone has an opinion on how anyone else feeds their child! Why does she care so much?

I didn’t breastfeed past one, but I really have no opinion on anyone who does. If it works for you and your family why stop? It really is so odd that people feel so strongly about this.

Why not breastfeed beyond 1yo?

"This is my choice and not up for discussion. Do you have the WENUS?"

*Friends reference

I don't discuss it with people. "That's your opinion, this is my choice. Next." Should suffice. Just shut it down.

People feeling like they have a right to an opinion on this always baffles me. Nobody would be asking when you’re going to stop giving him a bottle if you were formula feeding. Ds1 was 6 months old and a friend of a friend commented on it being odd to see such a big baby being breastfed I often thought of her when I was still feeding him at 18 months old.

Fed DD1 until 2yr 3mo or so, when my milk dried up due to second pregnancy. At the time I was considering tandem feeding when baby came. Did it for many reasons- the immunological benefits continue to be offered until whatever age children feed till, it will always be milk perfectly designed for my child where milk from animals is not, it is an easy way to calm and soothe a busy or upset child, and it was quite important to me to let her self wean if I could. In general I believe the way to independence with kids is letting them be dependent until they no longer have the need.

Regarding the WHO comment...well I think there is a clue that it’s the WORLD health Organisation and issues advice for citizens worldwide, if the research showed it was only beneficial in developing countries, they would say that.

None of what I’ve said means I think anyone else has to do the same though. It sounds like she inadvertently feels judged somehow by your choices, a shame but try not to worry it’s her issue.

I think the correct answer is because it works for us as a family unit and we are happy continuing.

Nobody would be asking when you’re going to stop giving him a bottle if you were formula feeding.

Sadly people do and lecture about tooth problems, speech issues and how bottles should be banished at 12 months to the second.

I think lots of people just like to pass judgement and make unwanted and unneeded comments.

I BF DD2 until she self weaned at 15 months. It just happened. She wouldn't take a bottle, even with breast milk in it, so I just carried on BF. I had a few comments about it and just used to retort with "works for us".

I fed both of mine past a year, because it seemed like the normal thing to do. I cannot imagine arbitrarily deciding to stop at exactly 12 months. I fed until it came to a natural conclusion, which was a bit earlier than I'd imagined as I didn't get to 2 years old with either of them.

I was very glad to breastfeeding when DS2 had bronchiolitis and wouldn't take any other food or drink. It was the only thing that comforted him too as he couldn't sleep.

Does she have children herself? Maybe she regrets stopping earlier with her own/ feels guilty she didnt/ couldnt bf, and it shows through as defensiveness/ criticising your choice?

Because DC wanted to continue feeding and I didn’t have any reason not to.

Well, like others say it is your choice and no one should decide how long you continue but you. However, I think ramming home the WHO stars is really quite a superior and judgemental way of explaining that choice. It may be that at a completely factual level exclusive breast feeding for two years is the ideal. But for many mentally, physically and practically it is not achievable. I really struggled with it and it was the exact opposite of a bonding experience. I pumped for months because I felt really guilty about ‘failing’ to achieve the breastfeeding ideal and finding it totally awful. For me breastfeeding was not the best thing for me and my child.

How anyone feeds their baby is up to them.

Thanks for all your comments. I was just really interested in the WHO comment and I did wonder about their recommendations.

Totally agree that probably in future the best way is to just say 'it works for us'.

LaurG i definitely didn't want it to seem superior or judgemental. It was a reaction to being judged by her. She hinted to me that she thought it was weird and I felt defensive. Her experience of breastfeeding was negative like yours so maybe that explains it.

I fed dd1 until she was 21 months and am currently still feeding dd2 at 22 months and she shows no signs of stopping. She feeds to sleep and it is her main source of comfort, why would I deny her that when she’s still little and doesn’t understand. I am hoping she self weans soon though, I’m very nearly done!

Why not? Do people think the benefits and immunity suddenly disappear?! Makes no sense. Loads of reasons to continue once you're both happy to do so.

I'm still feeding at 22 months. It's comfort when she's I'll and helps get her off to sleep. It'd be more hassle to stop than continue.
There seems to some weird belief that it just turns to water at some point or that getting them into cows milk is the goal.

I'm still breastfeeding DS 14 months. The only person who has questioned me regarding breastfeeding past a year is my own GP. Her words were "Why are you breastfeeding, he will never leave you alone!" So now despite needing to make a Drs appointment, I won't go because I don't want to be lectured by her again.

Enigma what an ignorant comment! Rest assured, your securely attached child will be a carefree and secure preschooler because of the close proximity and responsiveness to her needs. Have seen it over and over.

Thanks for your comment Mikado. I was shocked when she said it.

I know someone breastfeeding her 7 year old. Her choice.
Wouldn't be mine

I have several friends who fed past 3.

It’s the same as not whipping your ovaries out after you’re done having babies, surely? They form part of a bigger system, as does extended feeding.

Very unusual past the 'milk' teeth Ioraflores I'm still going, every now and then with ds2. People said he was 'too attached' but on first day of preschool he said 'You can go now' a-là Meryl Streep saying 'That is all' in The Devil wears Prada

I fed ds until 4.5 (by then just once or twice a week at bedtime) I had no compelling reason to deny him it before he had decided he no longer wanted/needed it. Nobody else's business, never discussed it with anyone. It was easier all round and provided him with much comfort. He's always been incredibly confident and independent - ran off to nursery without a backward glance etc, so none of this 'too attached' business.

DD (nearly 3) wants to continue, I'm happy to continue and I hope it might help with sibling jealousy when No. 2 arrives in the next few weeks. There are likely some (albeit small) health benefits and even if they aren't it does no harm. Also gets me an extra 5 mins in bed whilst she feeds in the morning!

Why would you stop feeding human milk and replace it with cow's milk?
Human milk is optimally designed for small humans.
I fed DS until he self-weaned at 4.3. We were down to maybe twice a week by then. It just faded out naturally and my milk dried up without any side effects. He's also a very independent and confident child, who is rarely ill. I know there are many other factors involved in a child's health and development but small things all add up and if it's working for your family setup, why change it?

Because my kids wanted to.

Really not very complicated.

(Fed dd until 2.3 and ds until about 4.9.)

Both probably would have carried on a bit longer but I reached a good natural stop with each of them.

I fed DD until 18 months, by then it was just feeding to sleep and I was ready to let DH to put her to sleep and have my body back. It caused no problems so she must’ve been ready too.

I knew I was doing the right thing and as PP have said I loved that I was helping her immune system and giving her comfort. Yet I still felt uncomfortable. As she got older I wouldn’t feed in public and wouldnt being up the fact I’m still feeding. I’m not sure why. I was worried about being judged I think. The WHO guidance actually really helped. Knowing that there was real evidence that I was doing good did make me feel better.