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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Constant breastfeeding

24 replies

Imisssleep2018 · 21/01/2019 05:17

Sorry it’s long,,,

DS is 12 weeks and EBF. He is obsessed with the boob! He has not had more than 2 hours sleep over night since he was born, even though he can easily nap during the day for 3.5 plus hours, especially if out and about.

I am exhausted every time he wakes he has one boob falls asleep. I put him into his bed and he’s awake and finishes the other boob. So takes about an hour in total to get him back off.

Tonight is a standard night where we repeat this dance and he’s just woke up after 45 minutes wanting to do the exact same thing.

He’s in a next to me cot and I sleep next to it so I’m right there.

My boobs are so sore from constant feeding overnight I just want to stop feeding him from me. I know I’m an awful mum because he just wants me but I’m a shit mum on no sleep!

He has one daily expressed bottle of 4 oz so partner can feed him during the day so I can rest from constant feeding and shower etc.

I thought by now things would have got easier?!

OP posts:

SuperSange · 21/01/2019 05:42

It is tough when they do this. I remember it well. He's just placing his order for the next few days. It will get easier, with more of a routine, I promise 💐💐

Alyosha · 21/01/2019 08:00

Could you wake him more in the day to feed? Or offer more? Sounds like he might have his days and nights back to front! My d's is 12 weeks and feeds about every 30 mins in day - but can go 7 hrs at night ( usually 5-7 hrs)

whoami24601 · 21/01/2019 09:22

I think waking to feed is a good idea. I think PP is right about him having his days and nights mixed up. Try to get him feeding more in the daytime and he should sleep longer at night.

bigspagbol · 21/01/2019 09:27

Give him formula. My opinion. Breastfeeding can be hard and you sound down.

gamerchick · 21/01/2019 09:32

My last baby did this until about 16 weeks, their lights start to come on and they take more interest in the world. Nights are better for milk production and it sounds like he's doing his job beautifully.

You don't need to give formula, especially after all that hard work to get established.

I don't really know what to suggest though, I co slept with mine and it was easier to feed and doze at the same time than having to stay fully awake.

Alyosha · 21/01/2019 09:36

Ds went through a 2 week stage of being extremely distracted, I fed under a nursing cover at day to ensure he was taking calories. I also offer the breast when he starts sucking/mouthing - even if he takes only a few sips over a day that adds up!

You could also try a bottle of formula around 11pm, it can really help to knock some babies out.

Original poster

Imisssleep2018 · 21/01/2019 09:39

that’s his only big sleep he has in the day. The rest are power naps. He is feeding every hour inbetween. Should I wake him up during the big sleep for feeds? I only let him sleep so I can give my boobs a rest!!

I am tempted to give him a bottle of formula before bed so I can have a rest.

OP posts:

Alyosha · 21/01/2019 09:40

Also take a look at his total daytime sleep, if you want him to sleep a 12 hour chunk intersperrsed with 1-3 wake ups, he should only be sleeping about 3-3.5 hours during the day (ie if you want him to go to bed at 7pm you need to wake him at 7 am and only allow 3 hours of sleep until 7pm). Finally your dh should be helping more at night when you will find it easier to sleep. Could he give the expressed milk at 10/11 while you sleep? Could he take ds in the morning so you can shower then?

Alyosha · 21/01/2019 09:42

If he sleeps more than 2 and a quarter hours in his long sleep definitely wake him. You want the long chunk to happen at night!

Original poster

Imisssleep2018 · 21/01/2019 10:10

DH has mental health issues and the short story is it makes my life easier if he doesn’t get overtired so night times are all me.

I will definitely wake baby up today during his nap today.

I will see whether we can give expressed bottle later in the day. Thank you for your help

OP posts:

TheOrangeOwl · 21/01/2019 10:14

Pump pump and pump! Saved my sleep and sanity completely. It's hard to find time for it but just a half hour between feeds can make up another feed, then keep going and you'll end up with loads. That way your partner or other people could stay over and help feed baby. I'm sorry it's so rough, I really hope it gets better for you.

Alyosha · 21/01/2019 10:20

Best of luck !

MummEE2 · 22/01/2019 12:02

Do you BF him lying down at night? If not, it's worth giving it a go as you'll get more rest yourself that way. I always BF lying down on my side at night.

Also do you do the whole "it's morning!!" Curtains open, loudness etc during the day and then stark contrast dimmed lights, quietness, no talking at all during the night when he wakes up? If not again definitely worth doing so he realises when it's day and when night time.

Try nap during the day when he sleeps. My DS is 11 weeks old and I have a nap during the day literally every day. If I didn't I don't think I'd be a very pleasant person to be around and not as good of a mum. Tiredness can really drag you down and affect everything. If you sleep during the day when he sleeps you'll be able to deal better with him waking at night too.

Maryam18 · 22/01/2019 14:39

Agree with other posters- pump! Breast feeding is hard work but lack of sleep is exhausting.

I have been breast feeding from the beginning and now combine bf with expressing my milk and giving formula in a bottle. I couldn't cope with the sleep deprivation and found that some sleep allowed me to enjoy my baby a lot more and stay more alert whilst caring for my baby.

I now give one bottle of formula a day in addition to his breast milk as the last feed of the day and he sleeps 6 hours through the night and is only just 3 months old. I found that this helps him sleep longer- something to do with the way formula is digested slower than breast milk.

You are doing amazing just by giving your baby breast milk, if you want to give some formula to top up then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Original poster

Imisssleep2018 · 22/01/2019 15:14

At night I feed him lying down as putting him back into his cot was waking him up!

Yes during day very noisy and talking and at night barely speak to him.

I can’t sleep when he sleeps in the day as he won’t go down. Only sleeps for long periods in car or on walks! Then once home he’s awake and we start again!!

Just had him weighed and he’s putting on weight and gone onto next percentile. Hv at a loss what to recommend just that I need to rest! Currently have high blood pressure but I think that’s down to exhaustion!

I am getting closer to formula... he had expressed bottle before bed then topped up on boob. He managed almost 3 hours. Then rest of night between 2 hours and 30 mins with an hour getting him back to sleep after feeding both boobs.

Thank you all so much for all help and suggestions I don’t feel quite so alone!

OP posts:

Alyosha · 22/01/2019 17:26

Nothing wrong with formula but unless you fix daytime sleep you will still be waking up at night! Albeit maybe less often as formula is more filling. It will get better - 2 steps forward, one back!

Dimsumlosesum · 22/01/2019 17:47

I feel your pain. My first born wanted milk every hour for the first two months, then every two hours for the next year or so. Horrific.

Maryam18 · 22/01/2019 18:07

I'd go with the formula at night for sure. As the previous poster said, it is more filling and they digest it slower so will sleep longer.

My baby is also 12 weeks and we are bf throughout the day. He spends most of the day awake and then we have our last formula feed of 6 or 7 ounces at 10.30pm, go to bed at 11pm and then he sleeps all night until 5am without waking at all.

whoami24601 · 22/01/2019 20:01

See I disagree with the idea that formula fed babies sleep longer. I have an EBF fed 3 month old who sleeps 10+ hours most nights, and my sister has a FF 3 month old who only does a few hours at a time. It's not as simple as 'give them formula and then they'll sleep'. What formula does do is mean you can hand them to someone else for a feed and get a break!

Alyosha · 22/01/2019 20:48

Formula on the whole does lead to better sleep, it is harder for babies to digest so they stay fuller for longer.

expectingscience.com/2014/09/09/lets-face-it-formula-fed-babies-sleep-better-from-their-parents-perspective/

But as you say not as simple as formula = amazing sleep, if the baby is sleeping too much in the day it won't fix that!

Original poster

Imisssleep2018 · 22/01/2019 21:41

He only has had a 2 hour nap, if that today and several power naps.

He is currently having 5 oz bottle of formula. It’s made me feel very sad but I need to rest my boobs and hopefully he might sleep so I can rest. He is really enjoying it the bottle and really is good to know he enjoys it so if it comes down to it his dad can feed him over the weekend and I can sleep and rest.

OP posts:

Alyosha · 23/01/2019 07:50

Crossed fingers, I might be there with you - We are moving ds to a warmer room but he is still waking 5/530 interspersed with sleeping to 6/7, we may introduce formula at the 11pm feed.

Original poster

Imisssleep2018 · 30/01/2019 06:39

Just an update... have been giving formula in the evening before we come to bed and then he falls asleep on the breast upstairs in his cot. First night he slept 5 hours solid, second 3 hours solid and and now we are back down to 2 hours for his big first sleep and then 1.5-1 hour for rest of night.

I’ve ended up bringing him in with me half way through the night to try and reduce waking but he can just smell the milk and is waking more and wanting to sleep with the nipple in his mouth.

Just had a shower and take some paracetamol to have 2 minutes where I’m not being touched and to stop my headache turning into a migraine! Blood pressure is really high and that’s probably down to lack of sleep.

So I’m back to square one really. HV recommended formula but that obviously isn’t the answer in helping him sleep. I will give them a ring today but think they are at a loss of suggestions.

OP posts:

whoami24601 · 30/01/2019 09:16

Honestly? I think at this point I'd do a whole night of formula and let your DH take over. You need some rest! Feed him yourself before bed, then sleep in a different room if possible. One night won't hurt your supply but you might feel a bit full in the morning! Make sure the steriliser is ready to go the night before so you can express from bed. And then reassess tomorrow.

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