Want to stop BF but feel guilty :(

[jacksmamx]

My son is 18 days old and I have been EBF since he was born but he keeps being sick after all his feeds due to what the doctors think is either reflux or cows milk allergy.

I'm feeding him and he's throwing up straight away so then he's hungry again after I've just sat and fed him for 40 mins. I don't mean to sound selfish but it's just too much for me and I'm not enjoying my son because I'm just so so so tired all the time.

Wanting to put him on formula so me and OH can share feeds and also so it stops his sickness and pain in between feeds but I feel so guilty, does my son just like having the contact from me sometimes? Will he miss feeding from my breast? I feel awful but feel as if this is the only solution to make my own mental health a little better. Advice please

What have your doctors said regarding his reflux/CMPA? Has he been prescribed anything?

Switching to formula won’t necessarily stop him vomiting. One of my twins had reflux when younger (he’s now four months) and he would vomit his occasional formula top ups just as often as breast milk.

At least I8 days his feeding again after vomiting is as likely to be related to cluster feeding as anything else. He’s upping your supply.

It’s upto you whether you continue to BF or switch to FF. I just wouldn’t assume that it’s the answer to reflux issues.

I can’t see how formula would stop his sickness / reflux.

Breastfeeding is exhausting in the beginning. It does get easier. Especially with reflux babies the only way is up. Do you have any local breastfeeding groups nearby? Chatting through your options with a peer supporter might really help.

Well I have bought formula that is supposed to help with reflux and regurgitation. The Aptamil reflux one. I'm willing to try anything really to stop seeing him in pain.

He's been prescribed ranitidine and gaviscon but the gaviscon makes him constipated and I don't think it really works.

It's not so much to stop his reflux, it's more I feel I'm too tired to even be a good mam. I'm constantly frustrated and grumpy because I'm so tired. If FF me and OH can share feeds.

I just feel really guilty on my baby :(

Seriously just stop.

I kept going due to pure guilt. And she then refused to stop. So I was stuck until I forced her to stop at 10 months. Now that was guilt inducing but I could no longer cope.

I was tired sore from several mastitis and fed up.

Our relationship has only grown since I stopped.

If I ever had a third baby it would be bottled fed from birth. Or soon after birth.

Nothing to feel guilty about. Formula is good & has all he needs. Hope you find one to suit him

You arent selfish

Sure breastfeeding is natural but that doesnt mean it is easy- if formula can help him then great

Not great at wording things but your happiness is also important

You could always cut out dairy to see if that helps. It helped my little one with her cmpa and made managing the condition really easy. I also lost over 3 1/2 stone in 7 months which was great for me.

On the other hand I found bf demanding and not really for the modern, western woman. I fed for 13 months, never had any pain or mastitis etc and I still found the whole thing hard even though I had it relatively easy. She wasn't a great sleeper either so that didn't help.

There is a bad side to bf that they don't tell you! It doesn't help the agenda they are trying to push. What you are feeling is totally normal and relatable. I am just a stubborn cow and didn't want to stop something I worked so hard to start.

Do what is right for you.

I am sorry to hear that your little one is having a hard time. I remember how anxious the early days are. It does get easier, I promise!!! I remember with all of mine, for the first month, I was literally a feeding station.
But a routine is soon established.

Please google the newborn Ten Commandments. It's a great, short read. I had it pinned to the fridge.

Would you be willing to cut dairy from your diet to try and see if this helps?

Formula probably won't help in this instance. It is important to say that breastfeeding is hard initially, but it will start to settle down. And it is magic stuff, your baby's saliva sends your body signals, and your body automatically adjusts the antibodies to suit the needs of your baby.

If you can, please do keep going. Do you have any support in RL? Feel free to pm if you would like support.

If you want to stop, stop.
My son threw up all the time. Once 16 times in an hour. I had to mix feed at first and he threw up more with the bottle.
It helped to feed him more slowly and hold him upright.
It got much better at 8w and I love bfing now at 14w. He’s sick once or twice a day now.

Don't feel guilty your doing the best you can, you could always try to cut out dairy see if that helps? I'm not sure if switching to formula will stop the vomiting but it might do!

If you dont want to breastfeed dont. I breastfed dd nearly 15 for three weeks hated every single minute of it. Formula fed/feed dd8 and ds8months. I know a lot of mumsnetters breastfeed and i admire anyone who does but it wasnt for me.

It’s not for everyone and I really don’t see the advantage of it makes you so miserable. I did it for a few weeks then pumped and combined pumped milk with formula. Sounds silly but I felt less guilty that he was getting some breast milk. Did that for 4 months. Now on formula and really don’t care what anyone thinks anymore.