Newborn not latching

[Paranormalbouquet]

I was here asking for advice a few days ago. I’m feeling so lost and would really appreciate advice.

Fed DD1 for 2 years. No issues. DD2 came along a little early last week, emcs at 37+2. Lost a lot of blood. She latched well the night she was born but since then it’s all gone downhill. She became more and more difficult to latch over the next few days, lost weight and culminated in a horrible stay in paediatrics where they insisted on giving her full feeds through an NG tube. Obviously she had no interest in feeding and there was no breastfeeding support available.

Made executive decision to take her home today when it became clear that the plan was simply to wait and see if she magically fed. I’m now exclusively expressing and paced bottle feeding. Trying to latch before each feed- she tries but just cannot latch on. Other times she just screams or falls asleep at the breast.

I have booked a LC tomorrow- pretty sure she has a tongue tie but this seems very extreme.

Is there any hope that we will get back to breastfeeding? I’m so upset I can’t do it when I found it easy before and can’t understand what I’m doing so wrong.

I hope someone knowledgeable will be able to help, I seem to recall @TikTok is a breastfeeding counsellor?

You're doing all the right things and hopefully your appointment tomorrow will help.
(My DD had awful TT but I didn't get it investigated until she was 6 weeks - it hurt like fuck but I assumed it was supposed to be that bad... So well done for getting that looked at now.)

My best friend had a preemie at 32 weeks who was tube fed, once she got him home from SCBU she managed to sort BFing and did it for over a year.

Another friend BF for about 15 months whilst using a nipple shield - have you tried that?

Well done. Keep it up lovely. You're doing a great job. And congratulations

Thanks for your reply, I bought shields but am waiting to see if LC thinks they are a good idea.

I’m just so down about it. Generally people have trouble with first baby but find it easier second time around so it never occurred to me that I’d have issues. I didn’t even buy bottles. So I’m feeling like such a failure and embarrassed about it. Which I know is irrational but I just so desperately want to breastfeed her.

I understand why you feel like that but I still want you to remember you're not in any way a failure. You're having a difficult start with a very little baby - she's about a week right?
Every baby is different. I'm sure this one will turn out to be a stubborn little thing, wanting to do everything her way :)

You're still pumping so you're giving her an amazing start and there's no reason you can't establish BFing.
Have you contacted La leche league too?
Hugs. Everything is so shit sometimes.

My LO was 5 weeks early and started off tube fed as she had very low blood sugars and a poor suck reflex that meant she just wasn't latching. We managed to get through it and she is now 11 months old and still BF like a champ. It was horrendous in the beginning, but those memories are fading now. I hope that you have an equally happy story to tell in a few months.

My DS2 was born at 37+4 and was very unwell, in scbu and hospital for a week before being discharged. Tube fed initially and then bottle fed. To begin with he even struggled with the bottle, and couldn't latch at all. We went home fully bottle feeding with me expressing nonstop and using some formula if necessary.

We kept trying to latch before each feed, and he started to latch, then to feed briefly and then to feed longer. Eventually we got to the point where the bottle feeds were small and we could drop them altogether.

I had similar with my DS1, although not quite so bad as we went home mixed feeding, although more bottle than breast.

So I've got back to breastfeeding twice after bad starts. It is possible.

Also, it's absolutely nothing to feel embarrassed or a failure about - nothing is your fault at all. Each baby is different, there's nothing to say that it should be easier second time round.

It’s very reassuring to hear that it is possible to transition back to the breast. I’m just so frustrated and dreading each session of trying to latch the baby on. Was there anything in particular which helped?

So this morning she won’t even try to latch, just goes limp by the breast. Which is somehow more upsetting than the frantic rooting.

Hugs. It is so hard. I remember the frantic rooting around stage, and I really lost hope when she started having a tantrum at the sight of my nipple. I thought that was the end of it for us. In the end a good tube feed to get her sugars up, then nipple shields to stimulate her suck reflex worked for us. I can still remember the relief at her calming down and just sucking like mad at the shield and my milk going everywhere. Then at about 10 weeks I started to wean her off the nipple shields. I hope that the appointment with the lactation consultant helps today.

I used the Medela Calma bottles which aren't free flow, which I felt helped both my sons to move back to breastfeeding.

You could also try expressing a tiny bit before trying to latch on, and leaving a bit of milk on your nipples to encourage latching. You could also do a small bottle feed so they're not really hungry and then try latching.

Well LC said she has a severe tongue tie with restriction of movement in all directions. Coupled with being a little early and very sleepy it’s not a good combination.

Managed to latch with shields although poor latch and she still drank a full top up after. Main good point is that she had a good experience at the breast and we’ve managed to latch a few tomes since. Getting tie cut on Friday, no guarantees it will fix anything but hopefully it will.

Good luck OP. My little ones TT snip improved things for our situation the same day.
Well done for sticking at it this far. Fingers crossed for you.

That’s comforting to hear. Let’s hope for the same here. Although situation can’t really get any worse!

That sounds hopeful. I hope that the TT snip helps.