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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Lying on back with baby on top - selfish position?

29 replies

Pimmsandlemonade · 21/06/2007 23:50

Dd is now 13 months old, still bfeeding, and I have been meaning to post about this earlier, but never got round to it.

I have often fed dd, since she was a few months old, lying on my back, sleeping, with dd on top. Dh has always criticised this positioning, saying it's selfish and I should sit up when feeding dd. This I find extremely annoying verging on the infuriating. What does he know? DD is perfectly happy with this position - I think she would tell me if not - it allows me to sleep while feeding too.

Do you feed in this position too or am I the most selfish mum in the kingdom of selfishness?

OP posts:
TooTicky · 22/06/2007 00:01

If you and your dd are happy, then surely that is what matters.

goodasgold · 22/06/2007 00:04

Where does your dh get his information?
Maybe it is him that is wrong not you, I hope so because my little daughter feeds in whatever manner, position, upsidedowness, she likes. And mostly thats fine with me and dh.
And its not actually dh doing the donkey work here, is his problem related to something else?

MrsJohnCusack · 22/06/2007 03:10

SELFISH?
what a weird thing to say
tell him to bog off

GreatGooglyMoogly · 22/06/2007 03:48

I read somewhere the other day that this is now recommended as the best position to breastfeed your baby.

I'm trying to find the article for you - I don't think it was online.

GreatGooglyMoogly · 22/06/2007 03:51

Aah, it was online - here. Show him this!

kiskidee · 22/06/2007 05:36

no it isn't.

you need to look at this website.

what fascinated me was how the stepping reflex that newborns have facilitated them to find the breast if the mum lies down and let the baby does what comes naturally to them

Original poster
Pimmsandlemonade · 22/06/2007 11:48

Thank you people - I just knew I was right

OP posts:
Original poster
Pimmsandlemonade · 22/06/2007 11:50

I think dh thinks it's selfish lying down as a) he thinks the baby can't breathe like that and
b) I'm not doing any work, if I were sitting up I'd have to stay awake

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 22/06/2007 11:51

not doing any work!!!?????
i'll deck 'im!
baby can breath fine.

Tommy · 22/06/2007 12:05

presumabley if the baby couldn't breathe, she would be dead by now AND, sleeoing while feeding is very sensible.

Men have no idea how bloody tiring b/feeding is

(mine doesn't anyway - sounds like yours doesn't either)

NineUnlikelyTales · 22/06/2007 12:14

If it makes him feel better, tell HIM to sit up every time you feed your DD.

Amberjee · 22/06/2007 12:21

your dh is an idiot. oops, no offence . but seriously if your LO and you are happy feeding that way, he can bugger off.

uberalice · 22/06/2007 12:24

I am sooooo jealous. I just wish I could feed lying down. Good for you!

ib · 22/06/2007 12:28

I feed like that, it's ds' favourite position. Interestingly, dh tells me off when I feed sitting up....

Amberjee · 22/06/2007 12:34

i can't wait to feed lying down again. at the moment my LO is too busy and interested in the world to concentrate on feeding if we lie down - needs to be held.

mawbroon · 22/06/2007 13:14

DS and I do this too if he lies still for long enough. We didn't start using this position until he was quite big (around a year I think) but if we have another baby then I will try it much earlier.

Not doing any work???? And what exactly is the benefit of you staying awake? I'm afraid I don't understand your DH's reasoning.

MissGolightly · 22/06/2007 13:24

how weird! Is it selfish for your DH to continue to lie down while you breastfeed? Presumably not according to him. 9unlikelytales - tell him to sit up while you feed DD!

And DS (14 months) likes this position too, although I find he digs his chin into my breast after a while and it becomes painful.

The only titchy argument I can think of to support your DH's position is that I personally wouldn't use this position while totally asleep as I would worry that DS might roll off the wrong side and fall off the bed. But I'm sure you know best - and if your DD has never fallen off before I can't see why it would suddenly be a problem.

MissGolightly · 22/06/2007 13:25

Sorry, should have read I agree with 9unlikelytales

ProjectIcarus · 24/06/2007 21:05

I used to do this with dd1. Very relaxing.

Your Dh is a tosser. Or possibly just freaking out and worrying.

FrannyandZooey · 24/06/2007 21:07

Selfish? What?

any position that allows you to sleep or rest while feeding is great.

peachygirl · 24/06/2007 21:08

I lie down a lot to feed but mainly on my side. I have discovered this allows me to read a book at the same time which is very enjoyable!!

suzi2 · 24/06/2007 21:09

Not selfish at all. But I'm just kind of wondering how easy this is to do? I have huge boobs that flop under my arms mind you

peachygirl · 24/06/2007 21:10

Yoo hoo suzi

ProjectIcarus · 24/06/2007 21:27

I was pondering on this while feeding my dd2 just now.

If you lived outdoors/in a cave etc where would you put your newborn to sleep? I would guess on your chest. Snuggly hear your heartbeat. can feed as and when. Seems possibly more natural than next to you for feeds.

suzi2 · 24/06/2007 21:42

waves to Peachygirl

The cave thing makes sense. I found DD was at her calmest when she was lying on my chest when she was newborn. Never occured to me to try feeding her that way. Must experiment tomorrow if I get a change