DD is 7mo and I am exhausted by bf - what's best to do?

[vonsudenfed]

DD is 7mo, launching into solids like they're the best thing ever. She eats loads but, just as she should be, she's still v reliant on bf and the food is an extra bonus.

All well and good and how things should be, but I am absolutely knackered. She's piling on the weight, so I suspect is feeding more, and I'm not sure how much longer I can go on. I'm back to having a sleep at lunchtime most days, and my last cold lasted three and a half weeks as my immune system is shot to pieces. And I can't get any more sleep at night as I give her a dreamfeed at 11 and then she's up by 6.30 at the latest... And I eat a really pretty healthy diet, although I am trying to add in a bit more protein in case that's the problem.

So, what to do? I don't really want to start adding formula, but can't see that I have much choice. But if I do, will that be the start of a slippery slope and will I end up with my supply dwindling? And the thought of expressing out Even More Milk fills me with horror, I'm so tired I'd have to go to bed for the day if I did. Still, things could be worse, at least I'm not back at work.

Any help? Advice? Anything?

Hmm- sounds like my dd at night (11pm then wakes at 6.30) but I then feed her in my bed and she usually dozes off again for an hour or so. Any chance this would work? If you can get a sleep in the day, go for it!

Oh, and drink loads of water, at least 2 litres a day, as dehydration will make you feel tired.

why do you think it's the breastfeeding making you tired? just curious, I've as heard this a lot.
If you switch to or even just add some formula you will be making more work for yourself and you might find it's just being a mum that's knackering?

I haven't stopped bfing a baby yet but would love to hear from those who have if they felt they had more energy after stopping...

My dd would only bf she rejected a bottle when she was 12wks & so it was breast or from a spoon. I stopped expressing from 6 months & would offer her a drink of formula or water from a doidy cup. It tooka while but now at 11 months she only has a bf at bedtime & all other drinks are from her cup. My milk supply has decreased but by only dropping 1 milk feed at a time it didn't drop too fast & I have never had a problem with her needing more milk than I have. At 7 months I think I was on 3 feeds a day, breakfast, 3pm & bedtime & offered her water from her cup with lunch. As she got better at drinking the water I gave her a little formula from it & with time she got better. It took a while to drop the 3pm feed but she decided on her own really & the same week stopped the breakfast feed too. It's been 1 feed a day from around 9 months & I feel much better for it.

I had infections which lasted weeks both times I was feeding my babies (both times at around 4 months and a half, when they were exclusively bfed and feeding a lot). It might be different causes. I'd make sure you get some proper rest. Is there anyone who could help round the house or who could take baby for a walk, while you just relax, take a long bath, sleep in front of the tv? I'd think about it, before thinking of switching to formula

Yes, must drink more water, very good point Lisa Rose!

caughtintheact - interesting thought, but I suspected the bf as at the moment I'm more tired than I was a couple of months ago when dd was sleeping much less. And my appetite has also gone up again, after it had pretty much gone back to normal (still have a huge arse and stomach though...). And dd isn't moving about yet, so I have that tiredness yet to come(!)

Franca - yes, I do need a weekend off, but I don't get it until next weekend - I'm a Glastonbury widow from tomorrow. But I'll be going to bed at 7 all this weekend. And I do have help round the house, already, so I oughtn't to be so knackered. Off to see the dr anyway tomorrow, so will raise this with her and see what she thinks.

Oh, and forgot to say - Amysmum, I'm currently on 5 feeds a day, and dd is teething atm, so I think it's 7 over the last 24 hours. I quite like your tactics though - and dd already uses a doidy cup for her water - so will think about that.

good idea going to bed early. You might ask your gp to check your iron levels?
zinc +vit c is excellent to boost your immune system too (well, I decided to believe in it!)

yes I have advice. Formula. 7 months is fantastic but more than enough.You'll never look back.

any evening people with any nice advice, like eating lots of expensive food. Will even take unpleasant advice....

Are you with her all day?
Do you get a break?
Do you try to go to bed early?

At 8 mths mine was on water in the day as I was working f/t.She never needed formula yet we b/fed like this for 30 mths.

Yes, I am with her all day, but dh works from home so I get plenty of breaks - and she's pretty good at naps too, so I can usually sleep during one of them (got 45min this afternoon).

It's the going to bed early I find tricky, as she has a dreamfeed at 10.45ish; have thought of giving this up, but she still has a pretty thorough feed then. If she's not teething - that is about three days in the last six weeks - she will then go through.

Interesting though that your dd could manage on water - I am wondering about replacing one feed with a snack, but can't square this in my head with all of the stuff about them needing more milk than food!

You really have come through the toughest bit.You will be amazed at how quickly she starts on more food.

I found work helped to give me a break from what I felt was the sometimes relelntless breastfeeding and I really needed it as dh went to work abroad the day I returned to work f/t!!

I never even gave mine regular milk,although she had lots of plain yoghurt,cheese and milk in/on cereal.

That's good to hear, I did really want to carry on, but not at the expense of the rest of my life!

Yes I think I'd want to work if I didn't have the luxury of adult company during the day, too - although am slightly in awe of your sudden and complete transition!

you must eat smoked salmon and chocolate. The chocolate must be expensive

I think, seriously, this can be an unexpectedly hard time.

I also think, tbh, that at this stage you are unlikely to be tired because you are bfding. It IS tiring in the early days but your body tends to adjust pretty fast and aside from needing extra calories, it shouldn't be much of an issue.

Quick thought though- are you getting enough fluids? Nice ones? (I confess to drinking way too much rocks squash when bfding). Dehydration can cause tiredness.

ok here is my gut reaction. I am wondering if YOU are feeling a bit burnt out and if that is making you tired. You also should not have your immune system shot to pieces by bfding. That makes me wonder if there is something else going on.

I am guessing you are looking after her for most of the day and the night (as is normal when bfding) and are maybe tired, and perhaps also lacking in treats and me-time because of that. Is that possible? or am i being very patronising? sorry if so.

No the me time is an issue - and I don't think you're at all patronising for saying so! It's not so much the treats as the doing interesting things and getting out and about (to places that aren't dank village halls). But I was, very definitely, depressed a couple of months ago, and went through that kind of tiredness/exhaustion, and this is different. I am full of get up and go in the morning, and then could just go to sleep after lunch!

And yes, nice fluids is important - but tricky as I have had recurrent thrush, thanks I suspect, to my world-beating consumption of Rocks, so had to give that one up. And I think I am falling into the trap of too much coffee to keep me awake.

But smoked salmon, now you're talking. Hmmm, strokes chin, considers trip to supermarket tomorrow morning.

ah, coffee, could it be the coffee? Also the Rocks/sugar.
I went through this re the coffee and the sugar when i had 2 very young kids and was up several times a night with one or the other.

this is HARD but coffee isn't really your friend here, sorry. nor is chocolate or anything that gives you a temporary lift. it does sound consistent with the afternoon slump that you're describing, tbh. Giving it up WILL be hard but I think could pay off. Can you switch eg to (NICE) hot chocolate which is a Treat?

but also-developmentally this IS a hard age. They are starting to move about, and become really fascinating people, and that is mentally tiring.

I think seriously you should treat yourself with nice food. definately. also lots of fresh fruit and veg. A low GI/high protein diet works well for me. And be very very easy on yourself for a few months. You are learning lots of new things and it is hard

More food...for you

My ds2 is almost eleven months and feeds constantly all night (at least every 90mins) and several times in the day and I am always starving.

thankyou everyone - I think more, nicer food - treats rather than veg as I already eat pretty much everything Riverford can throw at me each week! And fillyjonk, suspect you are right about the coffee - and also about the mental effort. I hadn't thought of it that way, but she is so much more demanding - in the most delightful way - than a few months ago.

And I am taking the resting advice to heart - I'm sat on the sofa with MN while dh cooks supper!

yes i was pondering this tonight as i put dd to bed

7-8 months is HARD HARD HARD

if they are crawling, its not very well

they are CRAP at entertaining themselves, mine liked very much to chuck stuff and get me to return it.

its a hard stage

give yourself a pat on the back.

And coffee-ok here's how I gave up. Switched to half and half, with the caveat that I COULD have another cup later if I needed it. Then gradually to fully decaf. Buy NICE decaf, get to starbucks or something.

oh and then i got pg again and that has put me right off coffee but i don't recomend that , it won't help with the tiredness really...

ps if you are with riverford chocolate alchemist chocolate is Very Nice.

No-one would think the worse of you if you replaced one breast feed a day with formula. Perhaps if your 10.45 pm feed was formula your DH could do it, and you could have an early night. Or could he do the 6.30 am feed so you can have a bit of a lie in??

I think a bottle of formula once a day to save your sanity and allow you to enjoy your baby, 'cos you're not exhaused all the time, is a fair price to pay in my book. It's also much better than getting so fed up with the whole thing that you give up bf-ing completely. You don't have to be Superwoman!!!

vonsudenfed, go to the GP and get your thyroid levels tested (blood test). They may be fine, but it is very common for thyroids to go haywire after pregnancy, and your symptoms of failure to deal with infections, a bit of depression, tiredness etc could be a sign of an underactive thyroid. Other ones include dry skin and hair, weight gain (not always), feeling the cold.

I think all thyroids should be checked 6 months after birth, it is so easy, so cheap, and if there is a problem it can be SO debilitating ( but masked by people saying "oh, well, it is just being a new mum")

best to rule it out. hth