How to feel comfortable breastfeeding?

[cr1479]

My DD is just over 2 weeks old and I have been combination feeding for the past week. I breastfeed all day and my OH will give her a bottle in the evening so I can sleep and a very occasional one in the day.
I want to try to breastfeed as much as possible rather than use formula all the time but I'm really struggling to breastfeed in public. I know that it's absolutely fine to feed anywhere and before I had her I thought I wouldn't care about feeding in public but I really don't feel comfortable. It makes it hard to go out though.
Has anyone felt like this and found ways to make them feel more comfortable feeding in public? I don't want to be stuck in the house all the time so really want to overcome this.
Thank you x

I always liked to find a seat facing a wall or away from the main body of the room. DH or whoever would have been opposite facing out ifykwim. Made it feel a wee bit more private.

If you feel the need to use a cover do so. I did at first and found myself becoming less inhibited over time so just half heartedly tuck a muslin over myself.

For me it was having two tops on. A vest top underneath that you can pull down, and a baggy top over the top that you can lift up. Then hardly anything is showing. I also bought a mama au lait cover which was ace because I could see him feeding and still be covered up.

I had a November baby so it was more about keeping warm when out and about.

At first I fed in cafes and at baby groups which I had no problems in at all. After a couple of months I was feeding everywhere. Look up where your nearest LLL meeting is and go there first and feed to get comfortable.

I think it's just a case of getting used to it but I know what you mean, I felt vulnerable a lot of the time.

Good luck OP. One of the best things about BF'ing is being able to go out with very little stuff, embrace it and hold your head up high. Anyone who is negative to you or looks at you strangely is to be ignored.

Can you go out with another breastfeeding mama so you have some solidarity? Or start at a mums and baby group so it's just other mums about
I've been feeding my little one out and about for over 2 years and I've only had positive comments and smiles (and I've fed her everywhere! Including the football!)

The first time, it might help to be with a friend, ideally a fierce one who will tell any busybody to bugger off. The more you do it, the more you will realise that nobody notices at all, unless you drape yourself in a brightly coloured cover that draws attention to you. A scarf or muslin is much more discreet, but even without, it's very very unlikely that anyone will notice and even less likely that they would comment. Getting your boobs out in public feels weird, you've spent your life keeping them under wraps, but it's really fine once you get past the idea of it.

I’m yet to have my baby but want to breastfeed if I’m able to and honestly the thought of doing so in public terrifies me and makes me want to bottle feed :( i have bought a cover because I’m so keen to try and maybe I’ll feel differently but I do understand how your feeling. My best friend EBF and has managed to continue feeding her DS for two years which I think is amazing. She will be very supportive of me and I’m hoping she’ll guide me through this fear a bit.
Do you know any other BF mummies ?

Absolutely it's a case of getting used to it.

Use all the props and don't worry as you will come to a time you don't need them.

Use a cover/choose your clothing well. Practice in front of a mirror if you like.

Go with a friend who has breastfed before or is breastfeeding now too.

Go to a breastfeeding support group or a Baby Café or Children's Centre or a mum + baby group aimed at very young babies, so you can be sure there will be other BF mums there.

Go somewhere which has "booths" to sit in (lots of chain coffee shops do or used to) or a more private corner or has a feeding room (shopping centres and places like Mothercare, John Lewis often have these).

Take a bottle with you as a backup plan in case you can't, so you don't feel under pressure like you have to feed or go home.

Good luck :)

Two tops, vest top under a jumper, literally cannot see anything. I breastfed ds3 on a crowded train and the gent sat opposite me had no idea that i had been feeding ds3 at all.

Start off in baby groups, cafes, friends' houses etc where you feel super safe. Then move onto more challenging places as you feel comfortable.

I BF my DD for nearly two years, I never had a hostile comment at all. If I got funny looks I didn't notice! I even had to BF in the dentist's chair having my teeth examined once

I imagine it's regional but I've not had a single negative comment or funny look breastfeeding anywhere

I just do it. And I’m a prude by nature. I do cover as much of my boob as possible once latched, and will not often sit in the middle of a room, but I’ve just got on with it.

I went out for the first time at 4 weeks PP (c section) and went to Starbucks. Got my coffee and cake, sat on a sofa by a wall, lifted my top and off we went.

I don’t make a big fuss, but it’s just feeding a baby, and I don’t find many people are brave enough to comment either way.

Good luck!

A reasonable number of places have breastfeeding rooms, particularly if you are shopping. Mothercare, boots, most shopping malls etc. They are usually near the loos but a separate room.

A top tip I was given was practise at home, sit facing a mirror and watch your self feed then you will know exactly what everyone can see.

Also no one is looking, I spent a year waiting for an argument or a sneaky comment - no one really cares. Good look!

I bought a few proper bfing tops for when I was out with people without babies or people I didn’t feel comfortable with. I also wore a longish cardigan most days.

I felt a bit self conscious of my large boobs anyway so preferred tops with a high neckline and a sort of split across halfway down. I was mostly worried about my huge cleavage or about flashing tummy more than the actual boob.
Like this www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/breton-stripe-nursing-tops-b4431.html

It gets easier after you do it. Agree with starting in a baby group/hv waiting room and working up to a cafe etc. One of the greatest things about breastfeeding is how convenient it is feeding out and about once you’ve got the hang of it.

The more you do it, the more comfortable you will feel. Agree with PP - watch yourself breastfeeding in the mirror, you'll be surprised at how little (nothing) you can see. Baby's head covers you very well.

I am 7 months in and while it's not my favourite thing to do in the world, I just crack on. I have never had any comments. Places like Costa, Starbucks etc. are often full of mums with babies during the day time so head there and sit in a corner or cosy chair which will be more comfy for you. Nobody will bat an eyelid, honest.

Good luck :)

Thank you so much everyone! I went out today for longer than an hour or so which meant that i had to feed her out.
I took your advice and wore a top that I could pull down with a baggy jumper over. I found a quiet place and just did it. I did feel a bit self conscious but hey ho!
I'm sure it will get easier in time.
Thanks again for all your kind words x

Well done! I also sometimes used to put the changing bag on the table in front of me if I wanted a bit of added protection in the early weeks. But after a while I just did the ‘one up one down’ method with tops and it was fine, you really can’t see anything.

I’ve never even a second glance when feeding, even when my DC got a bit bigger. I fed my DS til he was 2.5 (last time I fed him ‘in public’ he was probably just turning 2) and am still feeding my 19mo DD.

Well done for getting out and about so early and for feeding at only two weeks. I just wanted to come on to say be kkind to yourself and don't feel you must get out and do it in public, it's still very early days. It was about 6 weeks before I first did it in public - all trips before that were short or I popped back to the car and did it there. I was just too self conscious - mainly as I couldn't do it subtlety to begin with, I needed my boob out so that I could see what was going on!

To get out within two weeks is fabulous.

It does get easier - you begin to know where there are good feeding rooms, or cafes with discreet corners and before you know it you can do it anywhere and even if anyone sees anything you just think sod it, I'm feeding my baby and I proud of that!

Well done OP! It also gets easier as the baby gets bigger - it's a bit fiddly with a newborn, but when they're a bit stronger you don't even have to look, just pop a nip out and they're on!

I think the best advice is definitely to give it time. At 2 weeks, they are still so small and awkward and don't support their own weight and it takes a lot of time to latch. As they get bigger and more efficient and you just get used to it, it will be much easier. Honestly, if it's a pain, stay home for now, watch tv, drink a cuppa and snack. You have plenty of time for getting out of the house when you have the knack of it.

as Museummum said I went to Jojo and bought some lovely tops (luckily on sale)

After I felt a lot more comfortable as they are super discrete.
Many people just assume you're just cuddling a sleeping baby.

At first there is still an element of shyness because it's new.

I told myself it was normal and natural and quickly got used to it - don't let a bit of shyness hold you back.
Remember you could easily inspire/ bolster the confidence of someone else too in the process

Also as they get bigger their heads cover more. I was horrified by the ratio between my giant boob and DDs tiny newborn head.

I was like this but last week I went out and had to feed my little one whilst out. I was scared but now I have done it I feel a lot more confident about it! Think its beacause its a new situation. Just relax and focus on what an amazing thing you are doing.x