Is BF making me miserable?

[cr1479]

My DD is now 9 days old and has been and since birth. I have a 7 year old DS who I didn't BF for various reasons. I'm finding it really overwhelming and really relentless. She isn't sleeping very well, won't settle unless she's in our arms and feeds pretty much constantly throughout the night.
I've started combination feeding, my OH will give her a bottle at 10 so that I can get a chunk of sleep. But that's only about 3 hours and then that's all I'm getting. I don't know if I can carry on with this lack of sleep.
My DS slept better and would settle on his own and I'm wondering if this was because he was FF and just felt a bit fuller so more content?
I'm also getting really down... all my family are telling me to stop BF as it's not worth feeling like this. But I get intense guilt and for some reason can't stop, even though it makes me miserable.
Has anyone had similar experiences? Has anyone made the switch to formula and seen a positive change?
Thanks in advance!

Just to say you aren’t in your own. I’m feeling exactly the same as you and I’m 3.5 weeks in. It’s so fu;king hard! I just didn’t want you to think that it’s just you that feels like this! It does feel like some people are all having a lovely time easily breastfeeding there babies.

8 months in, the first few weeks I didn't get much sleep, now the biggest chunk I get is 4 hours! You have done good starting breast feeding and it does get better but i understand your feelings, I still don't really love feeding, it's so tiring and I still haven't been apart from baby as breastfeeding is a tie, it does get easier though

The first few weeks are really hard. It does get better. Your baby is doing completely normal stuff for a 9 day old - she’s feeding lots to tell your body to make lots of milk, she doesn’t know the difference between day and night and she feels safe when she’s close to you. It is bloody tiring I know.

It should be about both of you. You have given dd the best start you could. Be honest with yourself. If your bf journey has ended embrace it without feeling guilty. Do whatever makes you a better parent. One starved of sleep is not much use to your dd.

Don't let others guilt you into deciding. It's your baby so you choose.

If the bf is stressing you out it will affect your supply.

Could you keep up combi feeding to even out the load?

It’s up to you how you feed your baby and if bf is making you miserable there is nothing wrong with upping ff or just ff. I will say though that I felt the same so I gave my self a target of 6 weeks to see how I felt then and to make a decision. And at the 6 week mark it became easier, at 3 months it became easy for me and at 6 months I really enjoyed it and it would relax me.

In the meantime my parent would and still does put the baby in a carrier and get her to go to sleep that way. She is super content in the carrier and this gives me longer stretches of sleep, sometimes 5 hours. Without it I just get a couple of hours. So a carrier might be worth a try to help you get some more rest in the meantime.

Whatever you decide don’t feel guilty. In 20 years time looking back you don’t want to think you wasted time with your baby feeling miserable and or guilty!

Typo... parent should be partner!

I think that breastmilk is best but, like you, I was so miserable and weepy bfing my baby. I finally gave up day 10 and it’s the best decision I could have made. I felt nothing but relief.
However, if you want to continue, please know that everyone has told me that it gets easier and becomes so, so worth it.
Make the choice that’s best for your own mental health.

I have been exclusively breastfeeding for 10 months and I absolutely hate it. My mum died when my baby was 2 months old and I tried desperately to make the switch to bottle and formula but my baby wouldn't take a bottle or drink formula. We tried every different teat etc. I'm counting down the days until her first birthday and I'm going to stop then. My advice would be to ensure your baby takes a bottle and the sooner you do it the better as they might not take it when they're older. Good luck.

@thingy i would agree with you about getting a baby to take a bottle early. I didn’t and now I can’t have an evening or night off and I’m exhausted. I don’t hate bf but I’m tired and I need a break but I can’t have one.