First day back at work!

[florenceuk]

My first full day back at work today. Found it very sad to say goodbye to DS - apparently he watched me all the way as I walked up the road! It took thirty mins to express off 5oz today - and another 15 min just finding the First Aid room and a chair to sit in. Not fantastic, but then DS is still not really taking the bottle - refused my carefully expressed BM in the morning but drank lots of water and ate all his lunch. I know I shouldn't worry but a bit frustrating, cos I'd stayed up late the last 3 nights to express it off especially! Anyone else find their baby hates "old" BM - the most success I've had with DS and the bottle is with freshly expressed milk, when he's happily taken the bottle (tricked me into thinking I had it sussed). I think he's just very picky. Demanded a feed immediately I walked in the door, but only for a few seconds - maybe just to "reconnect"? Seemed extremely happy that I was home, chortled away in the bath and had a good feed before bed. Anyway, I guess we'll see how long we can keep it up - there are some fine examples of long-term breastfeeders here to emulate (5 years, KS???!).

Florenceuk - I'm not a breastfeeder, nor ever was really but I just wanted to say well done and try to enjoy being 'YOU' back at work

Hi FlorenceUK - sounds like you're coping well. Enjoy your time apart and together - good luck xx

It does get easier Florenceuk. My ds hadn't taken to the bottle when I went back to work, but soon adjusted. It just takes a little time (for everyone!)

Well done florenceuk - it will all add to the stockpile when EBM is gratefully received. Don't worry is ds doesn't take it though - he'll make up for it when you are home. Also expressing keeps your producion up. You can keep it for mixing with readybrek etc By the way - is water given hot or cold? If cold he may take cold EBM.

Well done, florenceuk. The expressing will get easier as you get more relaxed about it all, and your ds will probably settle down to taking a bottle when he realises that you aren't going to be walking through the door in the next 5 mins- my dd took about 4 weeks of hunger strike at nursery, taking only the bare minimum, and topping up when I got home. Now she can't get enough of the stuff, so I'm having to water it down!!

Well, DS took only 1oz today - and wouldn't eat his tea either. I think the nanny is a bit stressed and I am as well. Plus my back's killing me - wonder if it's sitting in an office chair all day? Still actually managed to do some work today, even sneaked a look at Mumsnet - although the banner is rather revealing, and everyone can see my computer as they come in the door - maybe we could get them to shrink it a bit??? Or change it to something like the Financial Times???

Ha ha florenceuk, I too have frequently wished for a disguised version of mumsnet - can't we have one dressed up as Visual C++, please??!

Florenceuk: how old is your DS? Around 10m my 1st baby only took 4 oz/workday, but his sister (10m) is currently having 7 oz.

I know people who just mix up their EBM with baby rice and other stuff, if the baby won't take it as a drink. Whatever works.

I had my first day back at work in nearly 4 years today and it was disconcerting. Not about leaving ds in dps' (very capable) hands, but about the fact that I have gone back to a much lowlier job than I used to have. I know this is part of the price I have to pay for being a SAHM all this time but... making tea, typing letters, answering the phone...I used to run multi £m projects, aaaggghhh!

I was told this firm wanted me to overhaul their office systems (as well as making tea) etc but when I made a suggestion today I was told "XXXX does that here Thank You" and it made me feel so silly and small and insignificant. It really got to me, being treated like an office junior again. My immediate reaction was no, I can't cope with this, if I am going to work I have to either get a proper, serious, well paid job (yeah right, and do 100 hours a week and forget ds exists) OR I accept that I leave my brain behind and take a job in a shop or something (no offence to anyone intended).

It's so hard! But we need the money and this is part time so I suppose I have to grin and bear it and hope they recognise that they could use me for more and let me do some interesting stuff (as interesting as it gets anyway - small firm) . Oh, I feel better for getting this out. Dp reckons I should make the effort to write from home (long held ambition, which has been partially fulfilled from time to time) to get myself out of this, so I'm going to try. Not expecting replies, just wanted a moan really. Whew! Thanks for listening

www - ):! Can imagine how you are feeling - give it time though. Even if you had been brought in to run the company someone somewhere would have been miffed and would resent any suggestions you made, so don't let it get you down just yet. But do think about writing - am just starting out again so can't give much advice (plus don't know what sort of writing you want to do) apart from to say you have to be really disciplined to put time aside to write - regardless of whether anyone has commissioned it. My ds goes to nursery two days a week for just this reason, but it is all too easy to get home and spend half the day cleaning/sorting/food shopping/log on to Mumsnet... again etc. Am having to really force myself to sit down and just write stuff and then send it out in the hope that someone will like it - it's much easier when you know someone definitely wants it already and is just waiting for you to finish it. So make sure you make time for yourself and stuff everyone else!

www, how frustrating! hang in there, i'm sure your true worth will be recognised before long

WWW- it's bloody hard isn't it? Can't claim to have run multi-million pound projects but I DO know the feeling of having to do low-status, dull, office junior type stuff at work, as that's the sort of stuff I've done (and resented doing!)for too long. I'm hoping my new job is finally a "proper" one IYKWIM, and at least when I run into the bits I don't like so much, I can comfort myself that the pay is reasonable, though still not lavish! I hope some of this is settling-in nerves, WWW, and that things get better. IME some bosses will never let people junior to them veer from their job description, no matter how talented and hard-working the person is but others will be much more flexible and not look a gift horse in the mouth when their office manager turns out to have a few brain cells! Hope the latter is true for you.
Writing... Many sympathies with this too and I share your ambition! What kind of writing do you want to do? I think you've got a good chance from stuff I've read of yours on here. It's well written and distinctive, I think. Have you ever thought of collaborating with anyone (ie: ME!) to help with motivation/ideas/joint articles or are you a lone wolf type when it comes to writing?

WWW - lots of sympathy. I guess I'm "lucky" in that I've managed to return at the same (low to middling) position that I left at - although I have no managerial responsibilities, I am reasonably autonomous and job is very flexible (ie I can disappear for an hour to fiddle with my breast pump). But to hire somebody with your experience to make cups of tea sounds simply wasteful. Hopefully they'll wake up and give you some real work to do soon.

zebra - DS is 8.5mths. Not sure if this is connected but he does seem to have become quite clingy since I've started disappearing for the day - squawks when I leave the room and will come over and hug my feet when I'm around.

WWW, nil desperandum. If they don't realise the potential they have before them, now that you have a paid post, you have taken that first step and can soon shake the dust of this place from your feet if they really don't want you to do what they asked you to do at interview. There are agencies that specialise in placing managers in part-time, flexible posts (no experience of them but I think Flexecutive is one of them) and maybe if things don't improve they might be worth contacting...sorry to hear it was not an encouraging experience.

My sympathies and empathy to each and all...

So much for all the rights we are meant to have to allow us to continue breastfeeding (via EBM) whilst returning working, all the rhetoric about family friendly companies is generally just that.

For myself, I've been back at work for 5 weeks after just 18 weeks leave (my boy is only now 5 months) and I've not been given a sniff of a decent project, just administrative tasks. Expressing went by the wayside as there was nowhere private to do it (small office - all open plan) and the alternative of mixed home & office working would have meant more time travelling than working.

AC resisted for two weeks but eventually took the bottle, first newly expressed milk and then pre-made substitute milk, though he's fussy about the brand. I still manage to see & feed him at lunchtime, but it's all a big compromise and for what - to see your talents and experience wasted, to face daily prejudice for not working silly hours and then to give half your takehome pay to the nursery for the privilege - I'm starting to wonder if stay-at-home mums havn't got this thing sussed.

A small asside on breastpumps - after many days and evenings attached to the mains, feeling like a prize heffer, I've recently found that hand expressing can be much quicker and quieter (very useful in the workplace), I'd never thought that a gentle squeeze could do so much more than technology.

WWW - how was the next day ? Any better ? Thinking of you Mabs

WWW, if they really don't appreciate you it might be time to get another job. Don't undervalue yourself whatever you do - you are a mother, you are wonderwoman! Or could you set up a consultancy or something from home? I'd never work in an office f/t again, that's for sure. By the way, when I did work in an office for a few months after ds was born, I expressed in the loo, using an Avent pump. Not lovely, but private! And didn't harm ds.

WWW lots of sympathy. I can only echo the others, maybe they will realise your value but maybe it's time to do something else, you are worth more than that. BTW, have they replaced your old position with someone else or is it lots of different people doing your jobs. If they have replaced you with someone else it is actually illegal

FlorenceUK sorry can't help with the expressing thing. I stopped bf to go back to work at 5 months and wished I hadn't now. I shouldn't have been so lazy and timid about expressing. My own fault.

I am very lucky, good part time job although a bit too much responsibility for me these days and lots of flexibility. So sorry your situation isn't happier on returning to work WWW. It's hard enough leaving them without going into an unpleasant job xx

Well, I've come to the following conclusions now, on day 3:

*It's an easy job, I could do it standing on my head,

• so what if they don't use my abilities? I'm going to channel them into writing anyway,
• the day from 9.15am - 3.00pm flies by and I'll get to pick ds up from school in Sept,
• it's a lot easier than dps day! He sent me a text at midday saying "my day is dragging and there's a pad brewing (pad being paddy)" as he was looking after ds *it's therefore money (well, chicken feed) for old rope...

Hurrah! Sorted!

Good for you WWW, just 'use' your employers to get the most out by doing the least - wrong attitude I know but they're lucky to have you. I would echo what someone previously said on here -you have a real flair for writing , don't give up