breastfeeding and expressing - I'm sh!t at both!

[jane2019]

My son is 3 weeks old and I breastfed him for the first few days but then on day 3 I tried to feed him all day but I wasn't sure if he got anything as he seemed to keep falling asleep on me! The next day I started using formula and have tried to breastfeed on and off since then but I don't think I've given it my best shot. I've had visitors nearly every day which have been a distraction.
I have also been using a hand breastpump and feeding him whatever I can get. I rarely get more than 40ml but have only been using it once a day and not every day as it is so time consuming.
Today I managed less than 10ml after pumping for 1 hour and 20 minutes!
I have just read that a hand pump is no good and I need a double electric pump! I also just read I need to be pumping 8 or more times a day!
I stopped trying to breastfeed for the last week and a half until yesterday because when I'm breastfeeding I'm struggling to get him to latch. He shakes his head as if trying to find the right position on the nipple and tries a few times then cries in frustration. It takes a few minutes to latch and sometimes isn't even successful.
Is a cheap electric pump ok or is there something special about the Medela £170 one?
How long does it take normal people to express and how many ml do you get in that time?
If anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it! I feel like I'm failing him!

Hi OP,

You're definitely not failing him

If you have stopped breastfeeding and have been giving him formula, this could have affected your supply, hence why you might not be able to express much at the moment.

To try and get your supply back up -

Buy and start taking some fenugreek, it has really helped my supply with both DC.

I have the medela swing, and I think it's brilliant. It simulates the sucking of an infant, which will help send the 'make milk' signal to your body.

Put baby to breast as much as possible. Cancel visitors and distractions for the next week, snuggle down with your baby on a comfy chair/your bed, lots of skin to skin time. 'Tummy to mummy, nose to nipple' helps too.

Look on YouTube for correct latch techniques and breastfeeding positions. Try different positions until your baby is latched on correctly. Keep calm and keep trying - this can take a while to get right. Skin to skin time helps with keeping calm for you and baby.

Appreciate that it will likely be difficult, at the start, and that's ok. For example, I have inverted nipples, which made it difficult for my DC to latch initially. I used a nipple sucker to draw the nipple out, then nipple shields with one to help with the latch, and would slip them off once they had settled into the feed. I went through a stage of my let down being too fast, so would have to stop and express a little before popping baby back on. It took time but I got there!

Babies will often fall asleep on the breast when establishing breastfeeding - it is hard work for them, plus your breast milk releases 'sleepy' hormones which helps with sleep and bonding. Tickle his feet, back, to help stimulate him. Change his nappy too before you switch sides, that usually helps to wake them up a bit!

Get support from local breastfeeding groups and your HV, they will likely have lots more advice and support to help you.

Check out these websites in the meantime -
kellymom.com/category/bf/
www.todaysparent.com/baby/10-tips-for-going-back-to-breastfeeding/
www.laleche.org.uk

You will still need to supplement breastfeeding with formula, best to speak to your health visitor about making the transition and reducing amounts. Look out for the amount of wet and dirty nappies as an indication as to how much milk your DS may be getting.

Remember, although they have an instinct for it, babies have to learn to breastfeed efficiently. Give it time. Please don't feel you are a failure, whatever the outcome. Your son is being fed, loved and looked after by you. You're doing an amazing job. Good luck

Thanks so much for all of your advice.
I just feel bad as I do really want to breastfeed and my son has been constipated the past few days which I heard is rare in breastfed babies so I feel really guilty. Also I find people constantly ask whether the baby is breast or bottle fed!
My HV is coming on Monday so I'll speak with her and I'll check out the websites you have linked! Thanks! X

Tobe has given fantastic advice! I would just really work on having as much skin on skin time and get yourself to a breastfeeding supporter, they are in most children's centres or you hv should know.
I heard your not really meant to express in any way for the first 6 weeks as your establishing supply/feeding.

Your not failing by any stretch, well done, the early days are hard.

All of above plus it is well worth renting the double electric symphony pump. There’s loads of evidence about how double pumping is much more effective at stimulating milk supply. You can get it from Medela directly. I saw an IBCLC lactation consultant who said that really pumping sessions with the double pump should be 10-15. Doing 8-10 sessions this way is doable, but you’ll need to get a pumping bra and someone to help you out for a few days.

The important thing is to remember that it isn’t about the amount you have expressed, but those sessions of 10-15 minutes are stimulating the breast to make more milk.

You are not shit at breastfeeding or expressing. That's not even a thing. You are not failing him.

I recommend skin to skin, letting him latch whenever and just being patient. Have you looked at LLL website or Kelly mom?

Congratulations on your little boy!

Keep in mind that the ability to express is not indicative of your supply, or ability to breastfeed. I ebfd for the first 6 months (still bfing now 3 years later), but could barely express a couple of ounces in a day - using a medela swing electric. Get some help with the baby's latch, and top up with formula if you need to. Keep an eye on baby's weight. If he's gaining/following his centile, you have no worries. Good luck!

What you can express is absolutely no indication of supply, but expressing so infrequently can cause a drop in your supply, but this can be rectified so don't worry!!

Best thing to do is bring your baby to the breast as often as you can, especially during the night, and lots of skin to skin.

It's completely normal for babies to fall asleep on the breast, and to feed very very frequently so as long as baby is gaining, and having wet nappies you are doing absolutely fine.

Latch can be hard at first, if you are struggling you can always try the 'flipple' technique (you'll be able to YouTube it) - you want tummy to mummy and nipple to nose, and a nice wide mouth from baby. There should be more nipple from the bottom of the latch (so where babies chin is) than above the latch in the mouth.

Hang in their OP. Yes breastfeeding is natural etc but for something so natural nobody tells you how bloody HARD it can be!!

The more he is at the breast the more milk you make so if you do want to keep breastfeeding I would be trying to offer him a breastfeed everytime he is rooting or crying to try and get that supply built up again.
If you would rather Express and feed him breast milk in a bottle you really would need to be expressing every 3 hours to again build that supply up. You can hand Express but it's a lot of work compared to a pump that does it for you. You can hire pumps rather that buy to see if its definitely something you want to continue with. Expressing never did much for me unfortunately, I got a little bit when I was uncomfortable but I'm far too lazy to do it long term

Babies that age feed little and often. I wasn't convinced mine was getting any milk out of me and was amazed that she had gained weight at the clinic.

If baby is filling nappies I wouldn't worry too much and just keep directly feeding until weigh in.

OP you are doing amazing and not failing in any way at all. Breastfeeding is hard to begin with and everyone says its gets easier.. and it really does.. but it's hard to get your head round this in the very early weeks.

You've had some great advice on here already, only thing I'd add is just access every source of support you can and don't be afraid to keep asking for it. See if you have a local breastfeeding cafe as these are invaluable, and absolutely cancel all visitors! Don't worry about what anyone thinks. It's so important for you to just be with your baby and be comfortable feeding. I struggled with my first and gave up at 5 weeks (has loads of visitor)... my 2nd is now 5 weeks old and breastfeeding is amazing this time (hardly any visitors yet). Good luck and well done!!!!!

Don't worry too much (far easier said than done) bear in mind their tummies are around the size of a large marble at this age, so they don't need much, and expressing will rarely give you a true indication of supply, babies are very clever at getting milk and will naturally be happiest and therefore sleepiest when right next to you. Enjoy these early days, chill out as much as you can, relish wearing pyjamas in the day time, watch box sets or read books you've always wanted the time for and drink loads of water.

Thanks so much for all of your advice and support. I have a relatively quiet week ahead so I'm going to put a good amount of time and effort into it this week!

Try a haaka pump. I could never get much out but got this... its revolutionary