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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Guilt over weaning toddler from the breast

5 replies

gigi556 · 25/10/2018 09:13

My son is now 16 months and has been breastfed since birth. We had a rocky start with tongue tie but I really wanted to breastfeed and persevered. I haven't really "enjoyed" breastfeeding and I wanted to quit most of the first year! I started slowly weaning from the breast at 11/12 months after taking some advice from my health visitor as I was desperate to stop. We got down to about 1 feed a day and suddenly I found it more enjoyable! It was nice to have a cuddle and a feed on the sofa in the afternoon. A bit of respite from the demands of a busy toddler.

Anyway, over the last couple of months, the feeding has increased quite a bit and I'm feeding on demand throughout the day. I'm not sure how many times. It's not constant but perhaps 3-5x a day? I don't feed at night as I night weaned around 8/9 months. I'm finding it less enjoyable again. I just went away for 5 days/4 nights during which time he obviously went without. On my return, DS wanted boobie straight away. Totally normal, but now I'm thinking I just don't want to do it anymore. I've been home nearly 2 days and I've fed him a few times, but I'm trying to distract him.

I'm not really sure what my question is. I was really pleased to get to 12 months, but then when I kept going I thought, maybe I could make it to two years or self-weaning when DS wants to stop. DS really enjoys it and I'm keen on all the health benefits so I just feel incredibly guilty that I want to stop when it's perhaps "not that bad'. Did anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
brookshelley · 25/10/2018 09:20

I know the feeling. I stopped BF DC1 at 16 months. I was simply tired of it. But when I actually did it, I felt guilty and sad. It was an irrational feeling and also probably hormones contributed to it, but I wept.

With DC2 who is still feeding (under 12 months), I think when I reach that "I've had enough" point, I may continue to express after weaning completely from the breast, so that she can still enjoy the health/immunity benefits but I don't feel so touched out - if that makes sense?

Honestly most people I know did some form of gentle weaning between 1 and 2, a few hardcore mums did wait for self-weaning which has been beyond 3 years old in some cases. I don't have it in me to go that long!

JiltedJohnsJulie · 27/10/2018 08:00

Firstly, it’s totally to feel overwhelmed. Toddlers are like that and at the time it feels like it’s never ending but it does end. Mine are both older now and it really doesn’t go on for ever Smile

It’s totally up to you when you stop. If you’re not enjoying Bfing anymore, could you try reducing it down to one feed a day again and see how you feel?

One thing I did was to only feed in one chair, then made sure I never sat down. La Leche League has some more tips [[https://www.laleche.org.uk/thinking-of-weaning/ here]Smile

gigi556 · 28/10/2018 05:25

I've regularly attended la leeches meetings since DS was 5 weeks but haven't been in a few months now DS is in nursery during the meetings. So I feel I have support I guess and mentioned how I was feeling the last time I went.

Just have really mixed emotions about stopping but I know I want to. When I've fed over the last few days, I've just thought "Ugh, I really don't want to do this."

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 28/10/2018 07:21

If you’ve can’t get to the LLL meetings, have you thought of giving one of the Bfing Helplines a call and talking through how you feel with the BFC?

JiltedJohnsJulie · 28/10/2018 08:53

*If you can’t

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