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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

when did you stop?

35 replies

bea · 31/07/2002 09:35

dd is now 13 months and has no longer morning feeds or aftenernoon feeds. We just have the bedtime feed, which she still seems to like very much! My apprehension is that stopping the morning and afternoon feeds were a doddle, we just stopped and that was that, but i wonder of the bedtime feed will be a big hoo hah! she's drinking small amounts of cow milk now, and i understnad that you shouldn't really stop until on more regular feeds of milk,
i know it's more of a personal reason why did you stop, but i would like to know when did you stop?

hope this makes sense! a bit tired this morning!

OP posts:

bundle · 31/07/2002 10:08

Bea, I never set myself a deadline, just carried on until I felt like stopping...which turned out to be 23mths! by then it was just a little comfort milk in the morning (stopped evenings herself cos she'd have cows milk while I read her a story...tricky if you're bfeeding) and I actually stopped when my dh was away on business - I think he thought he'd be the one who was instrumental in stopping! but it was easy, I just did her milk the same as the evening and there was never an issue. she now somtimes mentions mummy's milk (never calls them boobs!) and points but it all felt very calm and no hoo hah at all. i really feel i've enhanced my relationship with dd by extended bfeeding and she's not at all clingy as a result - it's a v personal thing and i know a lot of mums who said they felt like they got their body back when they stopped, but for me it wasn't like that at all...also did you hear about the protective effects which bfeeding has on reducing your risk of breast cancer? well done for doing a fabulous job, for your baby & youself!

JanZ · 31/07/2002 10:31

I stopped at 13 1/2 months. He was on to cow's milk during the day from 12 months (so I could stop expressing at work!) but I kept the morning and evening feeds going a bit longer as we were going to South Africa when he was 13 months and b/f is much more convenient - and comforting - on planes!

I stopped the evening feed when we got back and kept the morning feed (his big one) going a bit longer and then one weekend (ie when we had longer to snuggle) just transferred to a bottle. He was used to bottles though, as he was given them at the childminder and if I was away on business.

To be honest though, I'd have continued with the morning feed a bit longer as I enjoyed the closeness - it was dh who wanted "my" boobs back! (and he still doesn't understand that his obsession with my boobs, when I told him it was uncomfortable, became - and still is - a turn OFF!).

At 22 months we still enjoy a morning snuggle with the 3 of us (dh, ds and me) while ds has his bottle. I then stay in bed a wee bit longer (as long as possible!) while dh showers and then changes and dresses ds (I am NOT a morning person!).

bundle · 31/07/2002 10:46

JanZ, I couldn't agree more about the mornings Another thought - it was sooo handy to bfeed dd when she had a recent tummy bug - there's only so much dioralyte anyone can stomach!

Tetley · 31/07/2002 11:27

I stopped at 6 months - I'd felt it was a pain by then and did want my body back. Ds was happy with the bottle by then though. We still have a snuggle in the mornings in bed though - just no milk at the same time.

I agree that it's a very personal thing as to why & when you stop. My friend was b/f both her ds's last year - one was 4 years & one was 2. She has weaned them both now though.

Bundle - re. the reduced risk of breast cancer - Someone told me that if you read further into those findings it was only if you fed at least six children to beyond two years!! Wonder mum or what,to do that!!!! I don't think there's too many of those around. I don't know if it has a milder effect if it's fewer children...

JanZ · 31/07/2002 11:45

The other thing I meant to mention was that initally I only intended to b/f to 3/4 months (ie until I went back to work) after which I suppose I thought I would mixed feed, but then I got used to epxressing. Then it was 6 months and then I decided to go for the full year after which I could put him straight on to cow's milk.

I had such difficulties getting b/f established (difficulties attaching, lack of weight gain) that I decided that I may as well get a decent return for my efforts - and pass the benefits on to ds!

bells2 · 31/07/2002 11:54

I stopped at 16 months first time and would like to try and do it for longer this time around.

sobernow · 31/07/2002 12:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bootyful · 31/07/2002 13:21

I went cold turkey at 15 months - dd was still waking in the night for feeds, which was really wearing me down. I was dreading stopping as I thought she'd really play me up, but it was fine.
Infact, after about 1 night of stopping she slept through for the first time since she was born.

The only down side is that she will not drink cows milk, but she loves the step up milk and has a morning and evening bottle quite readily (7 oz).

I was ready to stop (I wanted a peaceful nights sleep) and the time was right for me. Just do what feels right for you.

JanZ · 31/07/2002 13:46

I had such difficulties getting b/f established (difficulties attaching, lack of weight gain) that I decided that I may as well get a decent return for my efforts - and pass the benefits on to ds!

JanZ · 31/07/2002 13:47

Oops - this reposted accidentally. Sorry!

ks · 31/07/2002 14:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jenny2998 · 31/07/2002 22:58

Very similar situation. My dd is 16 months now and just having the bedtime feed. I feel it's time to call it a day now, but am too frightened to stop! She gave up the daytime feeds without any trouble, but she refuses to take milk in bottles/cups....I've tried everything. She has milk with her breakfast and yoghurt for lunch. She is developing normally and the HV doesn't seem concerned (well, last time I saw her, which was ages ago...). But what do I substitute the last feed with???? I can see it becoming a big screaming match and keep putting it off, because I can't face it!

HELP....!!!

Willow2 · 31/07/2002 23:10

Stopped just after ds first birthday - not because I really wanted to but because I was going in to hospital for a week and wanted to make it easier on him - figured that if he was still bf he'd find it more distressing. Anyway, weaned him down to the bedtime feed over a few weeks, and on the last night was beside myself. (Had had terrible time establishing bf - took weeks and weeks during which everyone and their uncle was telling me to put him on the bottle but that's another story) The first night without a feed I was convinced he was going to be a nightmare to get off to sleep - I did the routine as usual, bath, story etc and gave him some warm cows milk in a cup, then put him in his cot. As I walked downstairs he started to cry loudly. I promptly started crying too. Just as I was about to turn around and go in to him he stopped. I poked my head around his door and he was fast asleep - fickle little you know what! Couldn't believe that I had gone through such heartache over the past few weeks to have it all end so easily! And within a week or so he seemed to completely forget that he had ever been remotely interested in my boobs. (Although now he's two he has started to refer to them as "billies"??? and the other night when we were having a bath together he started to play round and round the garden on them!!! He is his father's son.)

mears · 31/07/2002 23:10

Jenny 2998 - I didn't substitute the last feed with anything. My first I gave a bottle of cow's milk at 11 months instead of the breast because my mum suggested it (Ididn't know very much then) and he screamed the place down for hours.
Next child I stopped feeding at 10 months and he had tea, bath and bed with no drink.
No. 3 stopped on his own at 14 months and no.4 stopped at 15 months. I was very sad when she stopped because she was my ast. Unfortunately I frightened her by shouting when she accidentaly bit me then she wouldn't feed again - despite 2 weeks of trying!

By the way Tetley - that quote about 6 kids and B/F for 2 years is rubbish. It is the accumulative effect of B/F all children reduces the risk. Unfortunately I am sipping wine or I could find it for you

mears · 31/07/2002 23:13

Meant to say that if they have milk in their diet such as yogurt, cheese etc. you don't need to worry about milk drinks.

Lindy · 01/08/2002 09:29

I stopped at 8 months, I know you're not supposed to but I just went 'cold turkey' & neither DS nor I had any side effects, he just went immediately to formula in beakers (had been having about one formula feed a day anyway). I must be honest in that I never experienced any of the 'emotional' side of b/feeding - I did it as it was easy (after the first couple of weeks!), cheap & , I considered, best for the health of my DS.

mollipops · 01/08/2002 09:44

Stopped with ds and dd at about 14 months, and like you the night feed was the last to go and also the hardest to wean off. But like mears I didn't "substitute" it with anything as they went straight to a spout cup in the daytime... Bedtime just became a different routine, with a cuddle and song instead. Much easier btw if you have a dp or dh's support at least initially, since if they smell/feel your boobs they want them! (The baby not the dh ) So if daddy can take over bedtime for a while it makes it less stressful all round. Basically if you have had enough you can try to initiate it yourself, otherwise let your baby lead the way. Dd just refused the breast one night - I was upset, but she was fine with it! Sometimes your child makes the decision for you, other times you might need to coax them along a bit! Whatever you decide, good luck with it!

SoupDragon · 01/08/2002 11:14

I stopped feeding DS1 at 12 months when my milk dried up. I stopped feeding DS2 at 15 months and I still miss it! By this time, he was down to just the bedtime feed and that nice snuggly warm time with him is what I miss. A bedtime beaker just isn't the same for me.

My reasons were that I found the idea of feeding a toddler "uncomfortable". I don't have a problem with other people feeding older childre but it just wasn't for me.

zebra · 01/08/2002 12:36

I feel quite sad I didn't feed 1st baby for longer. Tapered off from 15-19 m. mostly because I was pregnant. I think 2nd baby will probably wean by herself about the same age; she has never been one to comfort feed.

Eulalia · 01/08/2002 20:25

My DS nearly stopped when I was pregnant. by then he was down to just the night time feed and sometimes he did miss a day - he was 2.5 and I think would have stopped himself pretty soon. However on the birth of dd he had a renwed interest and is now having a night time feed and morning feed. He has just turned 3. He particularly insists on the morning feed - I think its his way of communicating with me after being asleep. I really think its helped to allow him to feed as he's hardly been jealous of hte new baby. Mind you its a real pain at times having a small child hanging off your boobs! I hope he'll slow down again and wean himself once he's used to her.

So the simple answer is - I've not stopped yet and am 'feeding' a 3 yr old and 3 month old!

Eulalia · 01/08/2002 20:32

mears/tetley - the research was posted on the mumsnet news roundup. It says women used to b/feed for much longer - around 2 years and tend to have around 6 kids. It does suggest that we don't have 6 kids but if we could b/feed for longer then it would be beneficial. It is the amount of time spent b/feeding which helps to prevent breast cancer. It seems that most women now have few kids and only b/feed for a short time.

jenny2998 · 01/08/2002 21:48

Thanks for your advice, I will certainly try to adjust things round and see how we get on...she fell asleep just after tea tonight - most unlike her. I changed her nappy, got her into pjs and put her down without her waking! Maybe things will work out after all....

MalmoMum · 02/08/2002 07:27

I thought I would wean ds at about 12 months but I enjoy that morning snuggle as much as he does, so it's still lingering on. He's 23 months and I'm 40 weeks pg so it's not a nutrional feed.

When he is nursing, there is a still closeness. He has recently been in hospital and being able to nurse him (contortionist!) really helped to calm him in some of the worst moments. I'm quite happy with the Don't Offer, Don't Refuse practise.

It is prob easier for me to do something that is non standard as I'm living abroad. Swedes have high bf rates but most give up at one year when their generous maternity leave ends. I think my anglophone friends think I've gone native and the Swedes think I'm doing something that foreigners do.

When ds nurses these days I get mild cramps but obviously still not in labour.

chinchilla · 02/08/2002 11:22

My ds stopped his bedtime feed of his own accord a couple of weeks ago. I did feel a bit sad, like it was an end of an era, but he still has his early morning feed. I do love that feeling of closeness and snuggling, but he is such a cuddley boy anyway that I think I will be fine when he stops that one too.

He won't drink cows' milk, or formula, so I find myself giving him about 3 yoghurts a day!

Mopsy · 02/08/2002 11:53

Still hanging in there I see Malmomum

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