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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

bfeeding beyond 1 year dh not keen

11 replies

sleepycat13 · 26/09/2018 21:01

not really sure what I'm hoping to get from posting this but perhaps some words of advice.

my ds has just turned one and we are both still enjoying breast feeding. from the start I wanted to give it as good a go as I could and when it was eventually working ok I was very keen to continue to a year. but we are here now and I'm not ready to stop yet.

ds needs a small surgical procedure in a few months so said I would continue til after this which dh is happy with but he has mentioned a few times now that the benefits are less important now and questioned when I will stop.
I should add he has so far been very supportive and in agreement about me breastfeeding but I think the main issue is that he isn't keen on the idea of a toddler being able to ask for milk.
I think I initially agreed but now that I'm getting closer to that point my perception on extended breastfeeding has changed slightly. I'm not sure I want to be feeding much beyond 2 but certainly for now I can't imagine stopping. any words of wisdom?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 26/09/2018 21:03

What are his actual objections?

RosemaryLemonxx · 26/09/2018 21:05

I didn't do this myself but as you are both happy, you should continue to as long as you are comfortable. And your DS may also want to wean himself and just stop wanting it as much anyway x

doleritedinosaur · 26/09/2018 21:07

Why does he object so much? Has he seen WHO guidelines?

My 18 month old just weaned completely within the last 2 weeks & he never asked, just had a night feed for last 4 months.

If you’re happy to continue, go for it.

IAmcuriousyellow · 26/09/2018 21:07

I don’t understand what it is to him? What’s the problem? It’s a matter between you and your child, surely.

DD2017 · 26/09/2018 21:12

IMO forget how both you and DH feel about it and do what you feel is right for DC.
Are you on Facebook? There's a few good non-judgemental groups on extended BF.
Forget the stigma attached to feeding a toddler... Mother Nature designed us to feed until 5/6 when the 'milk' teeth fall out... there are still health benefits both physical and mental attached to extended BF.
Personally; I'm all for it and can't see me stopping until DD goes to school or if she weans herself before.
All said... as long as your baby is fed a healthy balanced diet... there are many other means of bonding... don't pressure yourself on others beliefs. Do what you feel is right and be confident in your decision.

Verbena87 · 26/09/2018 21:16

he isn't keen on the idea of a toddler being able to ask for milk.

But my baby’s been asking for milk pretty much since birth, and now although he still can’t do it in words he communicates it very clearly. Totally weird objection!

I’d give him the WHO advice and remind him they’re your boobs and he has no jurisdiction over them.

happychange · 26/09/2018 21:38

My husband hints too that he finds it weird but I just ignore him
My body my rules Grin

Original poster
sleepycat13 · 26/09/2018 21:44

wow thanks everyone for the replies.

I have told him the benefits and I'm sure he understands these on a technical level.
also I don't fully buy the 'asking for it's reason because as you said @Verbena87
ds has in effect been asking for it all along!! also he is non verbal so far so I don't except him to be saying mummy milk any time soon!!

ds is night weaned already and mostly just has morning feed, evening feed when I get in from work and last feed before bed plus sometimes a bit more on my days off. and I suspect it won't be long before he drops the bedtime feed as he isn't always that's bothered by this one.

if I really think about it I suspect it's probably more to do with dh feeling in some way pushed out or jealous not that he would ever admit to this and certainly it would only be in some small way. then I think it's probably mostly to do with the fact that we just aren't used to seeing natural term breastfeeding.
we don't have many joint peers that bf and none that have continued beyond infancy.

I'm not on Facebook but perhaps meeting other mums who still breastfeed might be a good idea.

OP posts:
Kraggle · 26/09/2018 21:44

I fed dd1 until she was 20 months and I’m currently feeding dd2 who’s 18 months and I’ve got no idea when we’re going to stop.

With dd1 I always said I’d stop when she could ask but we carried on. It’s such a comfort to dd2 I’m reluctant to stop yet. When I pick her up from nursery she points at my chest and says milk. I just tell her not now, later and I don’t really feed outside the house any more but we do feed to sleep still which is why I can’t figure out how to stop yet!

Original poster
sleepycat13 · 26/09/2018 21:45

@happychange I like your style!! I think I shall probably take this approach too. dh has not said he thinks I should stop but I think it's just niggling at me as I do normally value his opinion. perhaps not on this one though!!

OP posts:
happychange · 27/09/2018 07:28

Well done on night weaning! That's a battle that I really want to do but haven't worked out yet.

It is quite rare to see older toddlers bf still, I guess partly because they can wait until they get home. So it does feel a bit isolating sometimes.

I join a few FB groups for extended bf for moral support and so I don't feel like the only crazy one for keeping on

DS is 19 months and doesn't look like stopping anytime soon !

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