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Infant feeding

Not enjoying breastfeeding

34 replies

AnnieM18 · 04/09/2018 08:34

Hi ladies. I’m not trying to start a discussion about the merits of breastfeeding or debate anyone’s personal choice, I’m just wondering if there are any other mums out there who are breastfeeding but not enjoying it? My LO is nearly 8 weeks and I’ve been ebf since he was born. He’s a big healthy boy so far. He wriggles and squirms a bit when feeding (he gets trapped wind and a little silent reflux at times) but other than that we’ve had no latch issues and no pain. So it should feel easy and wonderful yet I really don’t enjoy it. I feel so guilty for feeling like this as it’s supposed to be a wonderful bonding experience but I keep looking for excuses to put him into formula. He feeds SO often, (within an hour of the end of the last feed a lot of the time), which I know newborns do, that I just find it exhausting and draining and I feel chained to the sofa and like my boobs are constantly out. I also don’t feel that comfortable feeding in public, though I do it. I keep feeding him myself because all the medical professionals say how beneficial it is for a baby’s health. So I juggle my own desire to stop with a feeling of obligation to continue breastfeeding. It’s getting me down. Other than that, I am so happy with my new baby and he’s so content (when he’s not hungry!) so I don’t have PMD Anyone else feeling the same? Or anyone else ft like this and given up? How did you feel afterwards?

OP posts:
MaverickSnoopy · 04/09/2018 18:23

I felt like this with my two. The first time was better than the second. With my first I gave myself permission to stop in X time and when I reached that point I weirdly decided to extend by a couple of weeks etc. I ended up mixed feeding until 6 months and was really pleased with that. Second time round was harder because I was determined that I would learn from "my mistakes". I didn't because they weren't mine. It just was. This time round I'm going into it with my eyes open to do whatever I need to in order to keep my sanity and my mental health intact.

You do what you need to do to be happy. No guilt.

AnnieM18 · 04/09/2018 21:01

BertrandRussell I mean I feel like I am constantly lifting my top and opening my bra to feed. My lo cluster feeds a lot and often so I spend a lot of my time feeding. It feels like as soon as I close my bra/top, he’s hungry again, and I have to get him latched back on. In public I find this particularly difficult and awkward even though I try to be as discrete as I possibly can.

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Stuckforthefourthtime · 04/09/2018 21:08

I hated the first few weeks, and didn't love the first couple of months. Was easier second time around with a Netflix subscription and a kindle!
Vainly, I actually only stuck with it at first because I started losing the baby weight quite quickly as he got bigger Blush - but am glad I did. All 3 times the weight really has dropped off, it's saved me a ton of money and because we've never been precious about an occasional bottle of formula after a few months (except with my second, who hated the bottle!), it hasn't left me tied to the house. Pumping is also a lot easier after a few months and makes it easier to get out.

Do check how you're feeling overall too, sometimes it's easiest to pick on one thing and focus your feelings on that.
And if breastfeeding just isn't for you, you've really helped by feeding colostrum and up until vaccines, and formula is fine too!

BlueMoon33 · 05/09/2018 09:34

I completely underestimated how much time and energy breastfeeding would take from me in the first couple of months. It was quite a big shock. What kept me going is that we were taking our DS on holiday at 12 weeks old and I didn’t want to pack bottles and formula.
Breastfeeding also strips all the vitamins from my body, I now drink a pint of milk a day as my nails were disappearing and take floradix to keep my energy up
Now I would say I enjoy breastfeeding. I enjoy the ease of breastfeeding, no need to take bottles out, always got food on hand ready, night feeds I do whilst half asleep, I know I can easily comfort my baby in seconds and what I really enjoy now is the excuse regularly to sit down through the day with my baby, feet up and watch some Netflix while he feeds!
Whatever you do, don’t loose faith that you are doing a great job as a Mum, as long as a baby has love and care they are getting everything they need!

AnnieM18 · 05/09/2018 10:49

Thank you BlueMoon33. That’s lovely encouragement x
You’re also right about breastfeeding taking everything. I feel physically drained by it. I should get some vitamins like you do.

StuckForTheFourthTime - you’re right about baby weight. I’m back in all my pre-pregnancy skinny jeans and my lo is 8 weeks tomorrow. I suppose there is one advantage lol.

I think being flexible with formula as a supplement is a good way to keep it up. Thanks x

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BlueMoon33 · 05/09/2018 18:49

My DS was cluster feeding every night before bed so I supplemented some formula around 8-10 weeks, I just got the ready made bottles for ease and tried one in the evening to take some pressure off those feeds before bed. I found it was a fight to get him to take to the bottle and he went straight back on the boob after a bottle, so I gave up with it in the end, but it did help me in the short time I did it and now he’ll only feed half an hour before crashing out for bed so it doesn’t feel overwhelming like it did.

LaurieMarlow · 06/09/2018 09:22

Please go and get a vitamin supplement (that includes omega 3) and make sure you're eating well. Make this a priority. BF can deplete your nutritional reserves.

For me, it got much, much easier somewhere between 8 and 10 weeks. I started to really enjoy it. You might be on the cusp of it getting a lot better, so I'd give it a few weeks before thinking of stopping.

Use the clusterfeeding sessions as a chance to spoil yourself. Netflix, nice magazines, a book you've been wanting to read, coffee, chocolate.

And make sure you're getting out of the house everyday. Nothing impacts my mental health more than feeling stuck between 4 walls.

And then if you're still not enjoying it in a few weeks, switch if you want to. There's nothing wrong with formula.

AnnieM18 · 08/09/2018 10:03

Thank you LaurieMarlow x

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Smurfybubbles · 08/09/2018 10:10

I stopped bf DS at 8 weeks as I wanted my body back. It was the best decision I made for both me and DS as I was exhausted and felt I was starting to loose my mind. DS is now 17 weeks and a happy healthy baby.

It's 100% your decision and you've already given them a good start by bf'ing for 8 weeks. Whatever you decide to do don't feel guilted by anyone else. Your baby, your body, your choice!

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