Newborn Help+ Breastfeeding

[mariemalade]

Hi, I'm still in hospital with my 5 day old after a section. He's my second and my first became a dreadful sleeper, mostly I think down to my lack of routine as I just breastfed on demand, which led to co-sleeping and an all round very clingy baby/child.

Any advice for how I can put some structure on this baby? I want to make sure all his needs are met, but at the same time, it would be brilliant if he was able to lay in his cot by himself, without constant need to be attached to me.

I'm aware of the 4th trimester and that they do need to be held, yet I also regularly see newborns who seem happy in their own company too, so I wouldn't mind one of those this time too!

Any advice much appreciated.

Do the Gina ford book, it's brilliant. I wouldn't personally start it straight away, at 8-12 weeks maybe, but you could start now if you wanted.

The GF book nearly drive me insane sorry Love. It’s on the Kellymom list of books to avoid, she’s not had a baby and it’s very prescriptive. I know it works brilliantly for sone, but for others like me whose baby just would not fit in with the routines it gave me a sense of failaure instead of gentle support.

If I’m looking for books, I usually look for books where the autism has at least had a baby and the book is evidence based rather than just sone woman’s ideas on what they think should happen.

Try Sweet Sleep or no cry sleep Solution for newborns

And if GF is reading this, these are my personal experiences of your book

I second no cry sleep for newborns. I'm reading it with 8 da y old DC2 and it's been really helpful already. It also fits well with an AP mindset without the martyrdom.

GF worked really well for me and lots of my friends

Thanks for the advice, will take a look at that book. It's so hard to know what to do, particularly when they're so little.

Your baby should still be inside you.

Talk of routines at this point is barmy.

• Routine is probably impossible with a newborn and I have a really chilled baby.... but I have a next to me crib and slept with the bedding a few nights so it smelt like me. I made it feel smaller and enclosed by swaddling and put a mobile low over the top of him - attached safely out of reach. I had to spend a lot of time settling to sleep once he was in by putting on a white noise machine (heart beat) and left my hand on his torso. Now three months and he sleeps in it (in a rough routine) quite happily and feels safe. A lot will depend on babies personality though. Congratulations on the new baby x

Oh and I bf on demand and he is up once a night now (as you can tell)

Routine is just mad at this point & please please don’t consider Gina ford with an EBF baby.

I hate to say this but I think it’s luck of the draw with babies.
My first never went down, he was clingy & lived in the sling.

Second his first night did 5 hours in the Moses basket & actually self settled to sleep. He’s not as clingy as his brother unless he’s teething like tonight.
I also used Ewan the sheep from 25 weeks pregnant & he still sleeps with it now.

Have bedding warm & smelling of you, a hand on them for soothing & white noise but remember it’s the baby.

I know there are lots of anti Gina Ford people about!! But just to say against Dolerite's opinion, I EBF my baby (and still am breastfeeding at 1 year old) and started Gina Ford from 8-12 weeks.
Good luck, it's all just relentless at the beginning and there's so much conflicting advice (see this thread as an example!!) you've just got to wade through and work out what's best for you. Congratulations!

You might find your baby is a little more chilled out simply by being number two - mine is 12 weeks and laughs when she hears her toddler sister have a tantrum.

Both crap sleepers though.

DD1 I helped to settle in her cot every time... then it all went to shit at four months anyway (I sleep trained her out of it at five months as she was miserable).

DD2 I decided not to bother wasting three months bent over a cot and as a result she will now only sleep on me! She's still very young of course. But! She is a very happy baby on Tizzie Hall's Save Our Sleep (SOS) routine. We use the Save Our Sleep app which gives you a routine based on your baby's age and feeding type. Would recommend!

Thanks everyone! Sorry, have been busy with that baby.

I was actually always really anti-routine with my first and loved the fact she was so portable and she would sleep anywhere as long as she had me. However, on balance, the babies who slept well and turned into toddlers who slept well all seem to thrive on routine and I really can't handle years of sleep deprivation again.

I have actually been trying a method which a friend got from a sleep consultant. Essentially it's make sure they feed every 3 hours at minimum, more feeds in between if necessary.
Start first feed of day at 7.30am and do it in daylight, to try and differentiate night and day.
Try and get baby out in fresh air every day.
Turn lights down low from 8pm. Quiet feeds at night.
Baby to go back to sleep max 1.5 hours after each feed. Some babies will go straight back to sleep at beginning.

It's obviously very flexible, but I'm actually happy to have a little structure to my day. It will then adapt as I go on.

Any other tips from anyone? What does that sound like?

Yes that sounds good, respectful of baby and very similar to the no cry sleep stuff.