engorgement woes...tips or support desperately needed

[aquasea]

Hi everyone, I had my ds 5 days ago and am trying to bf him but am struggling at the moment. He is completely nocturnal and i am feeling exhausted and hormonal and teary. my milk has just come in and my breasts are huge, swollen and painful and the little man is struggling to latch on which is distressing him and me. He gets on eventually but then it really hurts. My nipples are raw and so painful. I am not giving up but I really understand why people do. Any help/advice/support/tips please, I am getting desperate.
Thanks x

Oh, don't feel guilty for having him with you. He's small for such a short time, plenty time for him to be on his own later. I'm co-sleeping with ds and loving it - having a two-year old means I know how quickly the baby stage will be over .

Had an auxillary nurse say similarly stupid thing to me when I had dd and she was less than a day old - "you should leave her to cry - it'll teach her who's boss" !! Do what feels right and what gets you the most sleep IMHO.

oh pay no attention to all this leave them in own bed rubbish!! (well , that's just my opinion lol), dd started out first few weeks sleeping in our bed, in fact first week on my chest, then next week in my arms, then next week slightly further away from me in bed etc. she's only 10 weeks now but settles fine in moses basket now at night so it's not like it starts a horrible pattern. and if you like co sleeping, then stick with it for longer if it suits. also totally totally agree with the feeding lying down bit, keep trying til you crack that cos it's brill for letting you get more sleep and both being relaxed. i found it a good way to get dd to latch properly btw, she was always fine then
that reminds me of advice from bf counsellor on my dd's poor latch, try feeding before he wakes up properly, as he's starting to stir cos then they use instinct to root/latch on

thank you all so much. I feel so much more positive today. I spent a while expressing in a hot bath last night, tried to stay calm, took him off if he wasn't latched properly and started again...I think we are starting to get the hang of it! I also kept him in our bed last night and lo and behold he slept for 2 and 3 hour stretches which meant we could sleep too which meant I was much more relaxed when he woke up to feed again. I feel so proud of us all. A million thank you's to you all. I really don't think I would have managed last night without you.
BTW Morocco, great tip about feeding before he wakes up properly... I will give that a try.

good on yer, girl!

Great news

well done aquasea , hope it all continues to go really well but you know where to come with questions....

Congratulations on your baby! My tips for engorgement are really do make sure you have a well fitting bra. I know they are expensive but it is so worth getting a new one fitted properly. I even wore 2 bras to get the support I needed when walking about. Warm flannels on your breasts in the bath - or a hot shower will also do wonders. Massaging really does work. You will need to keep going with it - minutes rather than seconds. Keep going as you are obviously doing a marvellous job.