Bf - lost confidence 4 months in

[DegbitDb]

I've been ebf my baby since his birth 17 weeks ago. Never got into expressing so he's only ever fed from the breast. He was 2 weeks overdue and born on 75th centile, was 50th centile at 6 weeks, then 25th at 8, 10, 12 weeks. GP and HV were happy with this and said it was catch down growth and he'd stabilised at 25th centile and all was fine. He's a very long baby - between 75th and 90th centiles for height.

Anyway he was in hospital for an adverse reaction to 16 week immunisations and they weighed him there (for correct ibuprofen dose). I checked his weight in the charts in the red book and he's now slightly below 25th centile line (maybe 19th?).

He's beautiful and happy and advanced on his milestones - rolling both ways, trying to crawl, good at sitting propped up and can pull to stand from lying (v strong legs). He has plenty of wet nappies and fast growing nails.

However, I mentioned his weight to my mum and she said she thinks he's too thin and needs more than I can give him. It's really knocked my confidence and I've been feeling like I need to give him formula top ups. I've been so loving the bf relationship (co sleeping too) but am I starving my baby? Can I get him to gain weight more quickly without formula?

I think if the health professionals aren't concerned then I am sure everything is fine and there is nothing to worry about. It sounds like everything is progressing well and you listed so many things that support that. Your mother isn't a nurse/dr/hv but obviously her opinion matters a lot to you, she's your mum so why wouldn't it. But don't let one comment throw you off track, you have done so well and it sounds like bfing is working for you and your DS.

I'd feel fine if he was staying on the 25th centile, but it's this last dip that worries me. My last HV visit was 12 weeks so no one has actually said he's fine since then (hospital were just trying to get his temp down and didn't comment on weight).

My mum weaned me at 4 months so think she thinks he needs food, but I'm not weaning him til 5.5-6 months so the only way to increase his intake is to give him formula or change something about bf.

Percentiles are a range of normal weights and heights. If the baby was off the chart then it's a worry. Unless you are extremely tall or heavy would you expect your child to be 75th percentile for his entire life?

Don't introduce formula based on one comment from your mother. Anyway as he's been fully breastfed there's a good chance he wouldn't like the taste of the stuff. If the medical team were worried they'd have said so at the visit.

You could give your health visitor a ring if you are worried or perhaps talk to a breastfeeding support group (face to face or online/phone). How often does he feed? Do you feed on demand? Does he seem satisfied after a feed? There is a lot of pressure to maintain weight and previous generations always encourage early weaning because it is what they did, but research has been updated and advice has changed. You are right to wait to wean and perhaps just offer your DS a feed more often to see if he wants more and this might increase supply.

I stopped breastfeeding at 6 months (my poor boy cut 6 teeth within 2 weeks and we couldn't get past the biting). His weight has always fluctuated between 25-50th centiles, this has not changed since we moved to FF or started weaning (he's 8.5 months now). I honestly think this is just how come babies are. I think you've done the right think talking to HV/GPs etc and you say he sounds v happy and he's doing well, so I would try not to worry to much and just keep an eye as you have done. Food and formula aren't always the fix, neither have changed my baby's weight tracking xx

Sounds like you're doing brilliantly.

Go by how your baby is not the chart!

Things have changed since your DM had her children. Speak to your HV for her opinion.

I have to remind myself that babies were laid on their chests when I had mine so a lot of water has gone under the bridge since then so I mustn't put my foot in it! 😀

It sounds like there is no need to stop bf.

If you were starving him he wouldn’t be happy and exceeding his milestones! He’d be screaming and you’d be thinking “what is wrong with my baby”.

To put your mind at rest why not speak to your HV and pop along to a bf support group.

At 4 months my dd could only roll. It sounds like your little one is just burning up a lot of the energy from his food!

Thanks all. Yes, feeding on demand. During the hot weather he wanted to switch back and forth between sides a lot which I put down to him looking for the foremilk as he was thirsty, but maybe he wasn't getting enough hind milk?

I feed him to sleep as well and he does a lot of comfort sucking (dummy refuser) so he is at the breast a lot. I wonder though whether there is something I could do to make his feeding more efficient?

Just to be clear I'm not at all worried about his drop from 75th-25th centile, it's his recent drop from 25th to slightly below that has me more concerned.

I once read that then growth charts are more based on formula babies growth expectancy than bf. I would go see your HV and just express your concerns. However from what you are saying he sounds like he is doing great.

Can you go to a breastfeeding clinic or feeding cafe? I can recommend a good one in Oxford. They'll be able to reassure you. If not, you can usually see a health visitor at your local weigh clinic.

Thanks. Yes I plan to go to a bf group tomorrow - I'm in London. My HV said the charts are based on bf babies I think.

I know it sounds silly but I'm just questioning everything now - like what if I've been doing it wrong the whole time and harming him in some way. I've never tracked bf on apps the way others in my NCT group did but now wondering if that was a mistake.

Tbh I don't think them apps are always a good thing and can cause often unnecessary worries. Try not to be hard on yourself you really do sound like your doing great. You definitely just need a professional opinion. The bf group is a good idea as even some hv lack bf knowledge

Please don't worry! Nobody was tracking breastfeeding on an app 50 years ago! Even 10 years ago!

As long as you have been feeding on demand, that's all that matters. My girl
Was on 50th until around 12 weeks and now she's dropped to 25th. I have no doubt that she's fine! Speak with a breastfeeding clinic when you can and hopefully you'll feel reassured.

Honestly he sounds very active and so is just loosing the baby podge - don't look at the charts, look at the baby! If he was starving you'd know plus he'd wake a lot more at night and feed then (milk is slightly fattier).

You could try pumping a bit to increase supply (give him what you've pumped and let the pump carry on for a while after the milk
stops) but at this stage it's all supply and demand any way - he'll up it naturally and you might find he wouldn't take any extra.

Definitely don't wean early nor try formula - that wouldn't necessarily work anyway.

I think there are huge numbers of mothers (of mothers) who don't feel that breastfeeding is enough and believe that babies need solids much earlier than is now recommended.
If your son was underfed you'd hear about it from him!
Ignore her, times have changed

The bf group I wanted to go to was cancelled today so feeling a bit deflated. I tracked feeding yesterday for the first time ever - screenshots attached. It surprises me how quickly he seems to feed, as if I'd had to estimate I would have said the feeds took longer than this. If anyone has any comments they would be much appreciated. He also fed every 1.5 hrs through the night which is unusual for him (usually feeds at 10, 1 and 5) so I think maybe it could be the 4 month sleep regression?

Oh Deg, sorry the group isn't on.

Feeding looks normal - however sometimes they like to touch base, have a little drink or have a bigger full feed. But honestly, delete the app. 4 mo sleep regression is a possibility, similarly he might be putting a bit on / having a growth spurt - who knows! Frequent feeding at night always ups supply (but it also can signal reverse cycling where they feed at night as they're too busy in the day! - my first barely had anything in the day at this age!)

Frequent weighing can cause anxiety as babies do vary. Being alert and happy is the main indicator esp if you're feeding on demand.

Minimising distractions in the day can help if you want to be sure he's getting what he needs but they really do let you know if not!

It could be regression, it could be a growth spurt. Remember that it is food and drink for him so if he’s thirsty he’ll want to bf. If he’s as active as you say I think frequent feeds aren’t that surprising.

They’re all different OP. My dd didn’t feed quite as frequently but the feeds were very long 45 mins to an hour. Until one day they got shorter!

That’s annoying about the group. You could also check if there is any bf support at any of your local children’s centres? I saw someone at mine who was amazing.

But honestly, if he is happy and he is producing wet and dirty nappies I don’t think you need to worry. If he was hungry from lack of milk he’d definitely let you know!

Your baby sounds fine to me. Some babies (like adults) are naturally lean. Mine was, thin but long, grandparents thought he was too thin! Fast forward a few years and a great big hairy bloke appeared, hee hee.

Many years ago (like when I was a baby), babies tended to be very chubby and that was considered good, it's not now. They come in all shapes and sizes. Stop worrying, you have a lovely baby.

Btw exclusively breast fed babies do tend to be thinner than bottle fed and imo that is a good thing. Your HV and GP would tell you if there was any problem and they haven't.

My DS was 40weeks plus 14 days and on the 95th centile when born as he was very long. He was breastfed and remained a long skinny baby. He never had the rolls of baby fat like a lot of the other babies, but it was normal for him. I actually started mixed feeding with formula at 4 months because I was worried about him being skinny and because he slept really well at night and it was suggested perhaps he wasn't getting enough milk. (?) Utter rubbish as it turns out and I really regret introducing the formula as my milk dried up soon after as he wasn't breast feeding as often.
He's 9 yrs old now and still quite tall and super skinny, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.
You just need to learn to trust your own instincts and it will get easier.

Your feeding looks fine. Neither of mine spend more than 10 min at the breast unless they’d fallen asleep. My youngest (8m old still BF) is tall and thin but all milestones on schedule like older sibling. Babies are people, they come in different shapes and sizes!

I agree with everyone my DD has always been tall and skinny aswell. Not always the case but I think bf babies are slimmer anyway. There is a silly belief that healthy babies should be chubby and that is not correct.
When does your HV have drop in sessions? Mine have drop in sessions every day but in different areas. If yours is similar maybe you could go to another?
The every 1.5 hour waking does sound like the 4 month regression.
To me the app shows he is feeding often and having regular wet nappies. The older they get I find the shorter the feed as they become little experts at getting the milk out quick and probably a harder/forceful suckle.