Needs formula guilt

[biglittle]

My baby is 11 weeks , started off with tongue tie but was sorted the first week, so was a little slow from the start with gaining weight, I have been breastfeeding from the start, he had problems putting weight on, he is tall tho, and was always having lots of wet nappies so dr said not to worry, he is happy and smiley, but also was only pooping twice a week, but was told that can also be normal,
This week, weighed again and his is 2/3 lbs off where he shud be! And a different dr told me to start giving top up formula, which is fine I just want him to be okay, and since he's had it he has pooed everyday! Which I think is more normal, he still latches but not as easy, tho I can just see this going one way! And think he will be on bottles in a few weeks! Why do I feel guilty! I also went out for lunch and found it so much easier just giving him a bottle! I love breastfeeding, but with him getting fussy already I don't know how long my sleep deprived patience will last, but I also don't feel happy with bottles either 😕

Can you share a bit more info, biglittle? If your baby is really two to three pounds underweight, then of course there is concern. But is this really the case? Where is he on the charts and what has been his weight gain history?

Whatever....any use of formula does not have to be permanent if you can get help with bf to make it more effective.

But it’s hard to be more specific without the further details.

Don’t feel guilty. A fed, healthy and happy baby is the best - he isn’t going to care how he is fed.

How sad that you feel guilty for giving formula. DD was FF from day one. She's now 16 months old and super healthy and happy. I never felt a millisecond of guilt over this. There'll be enough other opportunities for parental guilt!
Please try not to worry. It's fine to formula feed

Did you mean oz rather than lbs OP?

We get battered with "breast is best" messages. The worst part of my birth experience was realising I couldn't breastfeed- combo of tongue tie and v low milk. Emotionally it was v hard to come to terms with, but I have a happy and healthy 5 month old right now. Fed is best in my opinion, breast or bottle or a mix of both.

I’ve basically had to give dd formula from a few days old. Was never very interested in latching, diagnosed with a tounge tie. She had colostrum in hospital and when I got home I expressed and gave her that. Eventually I couldn’t keep up so she ended up with more and more formula, to now at 8 weeks she’s fully formula fed. I’ve seen feeding specialists, been to support groups I’ve tried my hardest but it just wasn’t working. I still feel guilty which is bloody ridiculous especially as I’m now going to tell you there is no need to feel guilty. As long as your baby is healthy that’s all that matters. It’s hard enough being a new mum without the added pressure we apply on ourselves.

Don’t feel guilty. Give him some formula. Why would you not feed your baby if he is hungry.

Thanks for your replies, I don't know what is wrong with me, I 100% agree that formula is fine and I can see that's what he needs, he's having top ups and taking it so not a problem, but I think he will be mostly on formula within a few weeks which is also fine, I'm just tired and disappointed with myself that breast milk wasn't enough I think xx

Remember your baby is still getting the good parts of your milk. Also a lot of breastfed babies get the odd bottle to give mum a break.

@biglittle I completely understand how you feel- I formula fed my first due to a few issues and my lack of breastfeeding knowledge (or stamina) to continue. As such my second was exclusively breastfed and although I am very proud of that fact it was bloody hard sometimes. Especially as for some reason I couldn’t express well and she refused bottles till 9mo. This time round I would still love to complete a BF journey for lots of reasons (dropping the 50lb weight gain for starters) but I really have taken the pressure off myself. Just do you, formula isn’t some insidious junk it’s very sophisticated and good for babies. I still know of course as parents we always guilt ourselves anyway, but hugs to you you’re doing a great job

@biglittle
Have you got local face to face breastfeeding support?
After baby's TT was corrected, did you feel an immediate change in baby's latch?
TTS can reform soon after being corrected (unfortunately) So it is worth having that rechecked as tongue tie can cause milk transfer issues.
What's baby's centile line drop?
Are you ensuring that any top ups are being pace fed to stop baby feeding too fast?

Yeh I've been going to breastfeeding support groups, it's just seems he needs more , although he was never asking for more that's why is weight drop was a shock,
So plan has been and will be going forward, to breast feed first and hopfully hes still willing to latch and then top up 60/120 ish mil of extra , tho in the night I gave 120, as he guzzled the first one using aptmil but then I spent about 45 min burping him whilst he brought some if it back up, did I give to much. Is his tummy just getting use to it? How much is normal to bring back up x

I'm sorry you feel this way. Try to remember that fed is best and as long as baby is healthy and doing well that is the most important thing.
I chose not to breastfeed at all because I didn't want to. Not once did I feel bad or guilty about it. My mum chose not to breastfeed any of us either. We are all fine, as is my son. Try not to feel bad

@heyheymymy

I know it's only anecdotal but I lost all my "baby weight" without dieting (maybe because I can't drive & had to walk everywhere with the buggy). With my mum friends there's been no correlation between weight loss and breast feeding/FF though.

I actually think I'm putting weight on, as all I feel I do is sit down and feed, so maybe adding bottles in is a good thing, will free up some time to start moving, and I also can't wait to wear a non feeding bra!! Xx