Breast feeding

[SamanthaH92]

Baby is 2 days old today. Constantly wants to be on my breast which was fine until the midwife came out for first visit and said because i have large breasts I'm doing it wrong. She should just be laid across my lap and the nipple should be dropped in to babys mouth. She won't go to sleep without my nipple in her mouth. They are sore and my milk hasn't even come in yet. Just colostrum. I have just expressed a tiny bit and fed her by a syringe to give them a break for 10 mins but still she wants to be on me. Any tips?

I am trying to picture what you mean she advised but failing - sounds like you need a second opinion / real life help. Have a look at Kellymom in the meantime. It is normal for tiny babies to feed to sleep and to want to feed often.

Hi @SamanthaH92 congratulations on your newborn and congratulations on feeding.

A few points - baby will look to be on constantly for the first few weeks unfortunately - they are putting in their milk order for the next day. The more they are latched the more milk you will produce. So very normal! Get a good box set, a comfy sofa and water and snacks within reaching distance and use it as an excuse to slob for the next few weeks

I'm not sure I'm really with the midwife here. There are lots of different positions and you can use whatever is most comfortable for you and baby. Do you have a local breast feeding support group? It may be worth making the painful effort in these early days to get out to them. There tends to be ones in local children centres and others around. Also your health visitor may have some advice. Have you managed to look up holds online. A lot of mothers which have big breasts tend to like the rugby hold. I wasn't able to master lying down feeding until baby was a few months old- others get it straight away. Just aim for nipple to nose and make sure baby is getting a full mouth full and not just the end of the nipple.
I also don't get people who say breast feeding isn't sore, I think people would stick with it a lot more if they realised that actually yes it is sore until your nipples get use to someone sucking on them constantly. I also got bad let down pains. All of these disappeared within a few weeks. I would say breast feeding is a lot more difficult than bottle feeding in the early days but playing the long game, it is soo much easier in the long run.

For nipples try lanoshin or I actually found coconut oil worked the best. I also just got to the point of wearing no top around the house and letting the air get at them to heal.

There are also lots of breast feeding support groups on fb if you are on there.

Best of luck and it's not easy in the first few weeks so be kind to yourself

Midwife sounds odd. If it's working for you, how are you doing it "wrong"?

How are you currently feeding? I wouldn't have thought it would be comfortable to have newborn way down in your lap and dangle boob down to them. Granted I have small boobs but it really doesn't sound right. If nothing else surely you'll get horrible backache from that. It's important that the baby is getting a nice big mouthful and that your nipple is being drawn to the back of their mouth, not just shallowly in the front as this will cause soreness. But I agree with PP it can be a bit sore in the beginning anyway and doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong, it's just a new sensation. The position you choose to achieve this is really no big deal, there certainly isn't one right way, you must find something which is comfortable for you.

It is totally normal for them to want to be on 24/7 in the first few days as your mature milk won't yet have come in and the frequent feeds help your body to get the message that yes, there is a baby and yes, make lots of milk please. :) This should get better in the next day or two as your milk will come in (may be uncomfortable and hormonal for you as well - express a bit off if your boobs end up too tight to latch from).

Side lying feeding positions and setting up a safe area in your bed in case you fall asleep can be helpful in letting you doze.

I have no idea but now i am doubting my self therefor I'm getting stressed with feeding wondering if i am doing it right and so is baby. One of my nipples has gone funny. Very painful and almost like its swollen baby can no longer latch on it. Have breast feeding advisor or something coming in the morning. Giving her a bottle now so my nipples can recover for a few hours. Trying not to get upset about it x

Oh please don't be upset or feel like you've done anything wrong it is tough this new motherhood lark and you just have to take it one day/hour/feed at a time. It sounds like you're doing brilliantly honestly.

A bottle and a break sounds great (hopefully you can even get some sleep) and you can get going again later. It's absolutely fine and the right thing to do. You must look after yourself first so you can look after your baby. The breastfeeding adviser tomorrow will be able to get you moving forwards again and honestly it won't matter at all. You can't ruin breastfeeding with one bottle, or even a night of bottles :) promise.

Do you have any Lansinoh? That might help soothe the sore nipple. If not put some vaseline or nappy rash cream on it since you're not feeding from it for now. If you don't have any creams to hand you can use your own breast milk, try expressing a drop or two from the other breast.

Thank you for the advise. I have given her a little bottle and yes i have some cream which I've popped on. I will try again at the next feed and hope it goes better x

Good luck with the adviser tomorrow and I really hope you manage to get some rest and sleep x

There is this idea called “biological nurturing” or laid back breastfeeding. You lie back and lay your baby on you. So very different from what the midwife said. To be honest not all midwives have the same views on breastfeeding. So just take it as one view.
www.biologicalnurturing.com/video/bn3clip.html

A good book is “the womanly art of breastfeeding” - it only briefly mentions biological nuturing because there are many ways to do things. Don’t loose your confidence. Find someone you can trust to give you support.

When I got very stuck I found a lacatation consultant and she could really communicate and help me problem solve without me loosing confidence. She gave me the tools.

Good luck! You can do it. Early days. Keep your baby stimulating you because colostrum and the cuddling help everything come together.

Congratulations ! I used lanolin on my nipples, worked like a charm for me.

I also have large breasts and was so scared to feed! Have you got a BF cushion?

How did the BF advisor go OP? Are you feeling any better? Thinking of you. I hope to BF but am scared too. You mustn't beat yourself up.

You can use rugby ball hold if you are struggling with large breasts.

I would try and avoid making a habit of bottles if you can. Baby is getting your supply up and it will feel like she's on all the time. It's normal. They don't know anything else apart from you and she's learning about how to live and get nourishment.

Feed, feed, feed. Make sure someone is bringing you food & fluids. Get some box sets on TV.

It's super super early days, it's a huge learning curve.

Keep going!

I wouldn’t recommend feeding a baby flat on its back! Try drinking while lying on your back and see how long it takes until you choke! Any milk that isn’t swallowed is going to choke the baby instead of running out of its mouth. Exactly the reason why you put an unconscious person in the recovery position so any fluid in the mouth runs out. Very unsafe if baby falls asleep on it’s back while drinking. Google “milk aspiration” - inhaling milk into the lungs can be very dangerous. Your midwife sounds like an idiot who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Don’t worry about soreness. Nipples toughen up after a few weeks. Lansinoh ointment helps in the meantime. It’s normal for baby to want to suck constantly at first - cluster feeding helps to establish the milk supply. If you stop the baby sucking the milk won’t come in. Get comfy in bed or the sofa and just watch tv while baby sucks. Falling asleep while nursing is also normal. In fact nursing is a great way to calm a tired, crying baby and make him sleep even if he doesn’t actually need feeding.

Well i am no further forward today. Midwife didn't know why my nipples/areola have gone like they have but baby cannot latch on them at all now. Its litrally like there is nothing for her to latch on. Told me to keep trying and to keep expressing every 3 hours. Obviously baby is getting very upset she cannot get milk of me and i am getting upset that i cannot feed her myself. I have googled and it would seem breast pumps can cause injury/swelling and unfortuently that has happened to both my breasts. Milk has come in today but i have read it takes 10 to 14 days for the swelling to go away so i am guessing by that point my milk will of dried up. I don't want to keep expressing because its making them worse.

Could nipple shields help?

I doubt it because the areola is so swollen it looks like i have no nipple anymore

I have tried some frozen veg on them to see if i could get the swelling down to attempt a feed and even that hasn't worked. I have very bad swelling in feet, ankles and legs still but did not expect swelling there from the breast pump! I'm trying not to get my self upset but i really had my heart set on breast feeding this one as i couldn't with DD1 (prem and wouldn't latch at all)

Your fluid retention will go down.

Remember your still very much in the recovery stage.

Can you hand express a little off to help your breast swelling - in to a beaker or towel- then see if baby will latch.

Have you looked at the flipple technique?

Have you tried the laid back technique?

Have you tried lying side by side on a bed?

Honestly - I feel your pain- I struggled so badly and I'll be honest and say I think being pretty bloody minded helps with making a success of feeding (in some cases- you've obviously got some folk who inexplicably find it a piece of piss). Got there though!

Can you call the ward?

Shout for help in your local area- are there laceration consultants, breastfeeding peer supporters, friends of yours who have fed. Shout, shout , shout and get DH/your mum/a close friend to help you get help too.

@ifyoudontimaginenothinghappens there is litrally no nipple for her to latch on to so its not making a difference what position i try to feed her in now x

I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time @SamanthaH92.

How have you got on this past week?

I have given up and started bottle feeding. I ended up needing antibiotics for the c section so the ones she gave me i couldn't breast feed on, plus it wasn't working out anyways. Milk is almost completly gone and although i feel sad about it...baby is being fed and thats whats important. Atleast i tried x