When you want to stop bfing but baby refuses bottle

[User24689]

What do you do?

I have posted about DS before and his bad breastfeeding manners! He's 9 months, never taken a bottle, still feeds about every 3 hours and 2 hourly at night. Eats pretty well.

I've had enough. I have tried feeding necklaces and toys etc but he still wants to pull my hair. He now clamps down on my nipple when he latches so I have to put my finger into his mouth with the nipple to cover his bottom teeth then slide it out as he starts to suck. He constantly unlatches and relatches so I have to do this each time.

Final straw for me is that he has stopped feeding to sleep so I have to feed him, then he unlatches and fusses while i rock him to sleep. So it isn't even giving me that tool to settle him anymore.

But he will not take a bottle. It isn't even that he really refuses, he just doesn't seem to know what to do with it. He wants to hold it himself, then just plays with it, and if you hold the teat in his mouth he just chews the teat and dribbles out any milk that escapes into his mouth. I've tried sippy cups, same issue - even though he will take water from a sippy cup if I tip it into his mouth.

Does anyone have any advice? I've been so sleep deprived since 4mo and I've also got a challenging almost 3 year old.... Just not sure where to go from here for the best. Thanks in advance.

If he isnt bothered can yiu try just rocking to sleep 8nstead. My little gorl refused bottle and didnt know what to do and chewed it insteqd. I used to offer first then give boob. Eventually she got the hang but it didnt happen quickly
.i also reqlised she didnt need boob eventually to get t9osleep in night but i did put her in with .me so i stopped this first but she was quite a bit older. X

Have you tried someone else giving rhe bottle, rather than you? I've no direct experience but have read that a grandparent or partner giving the bottle can help, rather than person BFing as they can smell your milk

I would echo getting someone else to try giving him the bottle. It might not be that he doesn't know how to use it, just that he has your breasts nearby and simply doesn't want it!

Can you also try feeding him when he's half asleep, ie waking him up with it in the morning? Almost like a dream feed?

Or feeding him differently to how you'd breastfeed, either facing him away from you or (this one worked for us) propping him up on a pillow so it feels "different" rather than a replacement? Ours is 21 months now and still likes to have her bedtime milk resting on a cushion.

Some might say he will "crack" if you hold out on him with the breasts, but you'd need to have a strong stomach to try it.

Thanks all for your comments.

Rocking him to sleep is hard work, he's almost 11kg. It would be great if a bottle would get him back to sleep. The thing is a side issue really though, it's feeding him that is really unpleasant at the moment and I hung on because it was the only thing that got him to sleep - if it doesn't even do that, I'm ready to stop.

I have tried DH feeding him and FIL, to no avail. I have tried facing him away, which is how my DD always took a bottle. I'll try the cushion thing, thanks for that. I've also tried just giving it to him in a sippy cup in his high chair, won't have that.

I have been told to refuse the breast and wait for him to crack but I really don't want to go down that road as I think that would be really distressing for him.

I will definitely try giving him a bottle when he is sleepy. I might even send DH for one the middle of the night and try that.

I don't have any advice OP but I was you a few months ago and I just wanted to say it does get better. DS is nearly 1 and I bf him morning and evening but he takes formula from a sippy cup before both naps. He refused bottles from 6 months and I really struggled but in the last month or so it has really got better. We reluctantly did a little bit of sleep training when feeding to sleep stopped working and he now sleeps so much better at night. He is also eating a lot more solids. Now we are down to two feeds a day I feel much more relaxed about bf whereas before I did not enjoy it at all. He just started taking formula from his 360 cup then accepted a sippy cup too.

No advice on the bottle sorry but there’s a huge sleep regression at 9 months so he may settle with his sleep soon anyway. As for the biting, I think that you need help with this, even if you’re going to be feeding him for a short time still, you want it to be comfortable. I’d give one of the Bfing Helplines a call about that.

How warm is the milk in the bottle - both of mind refused cold milk had to be pretty warm (nothe hot obviously). Dd would only take a bottle from me for a while ds from Dh. Ds we tried lots of different bottles and he only liked munchkin latch slow teats. I was back at work with him at 7 months so he had to take a bottle but he never loved it and ditched all milk at 12 months had to get dairy into him other ways it is tough.