can someone be kind to me please?

[geordiemacminx]

3 1/2 week old baby, been feeding almost ever hour all day, wont settle or sleep, tried infacol, I'm utterly and totaly worn out, my nipples are killing me, been out and got some sma stuff, although I havent given him it yet, feel like such a failure that I cant even look after my own baby - dont know what to do... dp taken him out for a walk for a little whilen so I can relax... even bought blody ciggarettes at the shop - I've been given up a year. Sorry for the ramble - just wanting some support. sorry

I could have written your post at 3 weeks. It will settle soon, you are doing brilliantly.

Sounds about right. DD2 did this too. Don't worry. My HV recommended not bothering with things like Infacol as anything other than breast milk can upset their tummies at that age, even stuff that's supposed to help.
She used to camp all evening from 7 til 11 on the boob to stock up before bed. Hang in there, it will get easier as his feeding settles down.. Def a growth spurt.

You CAN do it.

you poor love, have not read the thread so sorry if this is a repeat, could you express and get your dp to do a night a week for you, my dh did this for me and kept the old bf going and would have stopped without some help, felt like a new woman after a five hour sleep

congratulations x

Do try letting your ds suck on something other than your boob if he will - I used to get ds to suck on my finger after he'd fed for a decent length of time, I had very, very sore nipples and could only stand it for so long.

I used to be able to get him to go longer between feeds this way. He still put on weight well and had lots of wet/dirty nappies so I knew he was getting enough. Also it meant that someone else could take him for a bit!

I actually really only started feeding on demand later once my nipple problems were resolved.

GMM, you're doing really well, you know - I know it doesn't necessarily feel like it when your eyes don't work you're so tired, but you really are.

It's entirely your decision whether you give your baby formula or not, of course it is - but before you do, look to the longer term - how did you feel about bf before you had your baby? Was it something you really wanted to do?

How about in the last couple of weeks? How have you felt about bf?

And in the next couple of weeks/months? Were you planning on weaning onto formula before solids, or continuing to exclusively breastfeed for a while longer?

I know how hard it is when you haven't had sleep and you've a baby latched on most of the day, but I don't want you to give formula unless it's something you're 100% happy doing and you're sure you won't regret doing it once you've had a bit more sleep.

But you are doing really well, you know. And this bit's really hard. But it's very worth it, I promise.

Have you tried lying down to feed? It's worth learning to, IME - I didn't manage it with DS1 till he was about 4mo, but I did it with DS2 from birth - I made sure I kept trying till we cracked it, because I knew how much easier it was to be lying down and drowsing in and out of sleep while the hungry little blighter fed and fed.

Keep posting - thinking of you.

ditto what other folk said.

The early weeks can be really tough going. You are doing a fab job.

GMM so sorry to read this

Does C fall asleep at the end of a feed? I managed to get myself in a position sitting up the other day with loads of pillows where I fell asleep when feeding him (never got the hang of the lying down thing) and when he'd finished we both slept.

Have you tried a dummy? They were a lifesaver for me when he just wanted to suck, think I started them earlier than 3 and a half weeks and they haven't affected his ability to latch on at all.

Hope things have improved today

I'm sure this is the last thing on your mind at the moment, but do you have any plans to visit your mum any time soon? If so, fancy meeting up?
I'm sure you're far too busy, but just thought I'd check!

3 weeks is about the toughest time from my memory - the exhaustion has kicked in, the visitors/excitement/relief has gone and you are just left trying to get through day by day... you're expecting it to start to get easier, but it's getting harder.
another couple of weeks will make a huge difference, just hang in there for now.

many babies are "sucky" so i would def try a dummy. DD1 had one at this age and only for a couple of months when she didn't want it anymore (it hadn't become a "crutch" by then).

another vote for lansinoh too
and bf lying down on your side in bed so you can sleep while he tucks in

if you do start introducing a bottle then don't feel bad, you're doing your best. personally, i found aptamil more gentle than the others.

and give yourself a big pat on the back. you're doing great.

Hey GMM, hope you have had a reasonable night and things look a bit brighter today. How was the rose?!
I posted a very similar thread to this when dd was 3 weeks, feeding so often I was ready to chuck in the BF. She is 9 weeks today and I am still going with it and it DOES get so much easier. Know exactly how you feel though. Can you get out for some fresh air with babe in the buggy? Someone gave me that advice and it made a huge difference to me. Dd slept and my poor ravaged nips got a well needed break.
Are you using lansinoh? Cant recommend that stuff too highly as it worked wonders for me.

You are doing a brilliant job so dont beat yourself up about it. You are a fab mummy, and whatever you decide to do with feeding, nothing will change that.

The 3 week mark is awful. It gets much better. DS now nearly 8 months and still bfing - wd never have expected that in the early weeks.

Get as much sleep as you can - co-sleep if you're happy with that.

geordiemac,
sorry to hear how tough it's been, my first few weeks of bf was agony - I only persisted because my m and sis were both very pro bf and kept encouraging me. They kept saying - it's hard now but it's easier later, don't give up etc.
The key for me was when I called a la Leche League bf counsellor and she told me to go to bed and forget everything else except feeding and resting. Let everything else hang (as far as you can!)
Some cultures send mother and baby to bed for a few months while loads of womenfolk do everything else. Our culture seems to think a woman who's had a baby should be up and at 'im the next day, down at the gym and baking muffins - it's madness! I blame all those blardy celebrities who have surgery to remove all their baby fat and then parade around as if it's their own work while their staff do the rest!
Try to go to bed at least for a day and see the difference - all the best and wishing it gets easier soon!

had a good nights sleep, decided toforget about yesterday and see today as a new day.

healt visitor just been - the little monster has put on 1lb in a weej so i must be doing something right!!!

thanks once again for all your kind words.

excellent
Glad you've had some sleep. 1lb - you must do the best milk

GMM - As others have said, this is soooo normal, including believing you don't have enough milk. DS1 fed ALL the time for the first three months, and the new baby doesn't do badly, either - no five or six hour stretches of sleep here! But at four+ weeks, it is (some days ) getting better. I'm the one from our April thread whose DS1 freaks at the baby crying, so you can imagine how quickly my boobs get shoved in the baby's gob! A dummy worked well for DS1, but so far the baby isn't much interested. Do swaddle; that was my top tip for DS1, and although DS2 is a calmer baby so I haven't needed to do a firm swaddle, I still think this is a terrific method for improving latch (they can't flail and panic as they try to feed). Wearing a sling might help, too. But mostly, remember that it is FAR more usual to feed very, very frequently at first, and especially during a growth spurt, than it is to 'go through' early. DS1's mammoth feeding I can barely remember, in terms of how it felt, and I know I don't feel so terrible with DS2's feeding, as I do know for sure it gets better.

Echo the having a glass of wine - oh, and hard though it is to hear: don't diet. You don't have to eat crap if you don't want, but you do need to be eating more than normal if your LO wants to feed like that.

xx

Don't give up GM - it's worth it in the end! So easy later - all your suffering will PAY OFF!!!

Ah yes - learning they have gained weight is always re-assuring.