Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

BF two week old constant feeding. Help!

9 replies

Mybabystolemysanity · 14/07/2018 18:52

DD is two weeks old and constantly grizzling for breastfeeding. Latch is good but still painful and I'm sore even when not feeding now. It's going on for hours at a time and I'm starting to resent him. Struggled to bond with DD who had to be bottle fed because of the pain and worried it's happening again. Seriously wishing today that I hadn't had either of them. I'm on edge all the time and not getting more than four hours sleep in about three chunks at night. DH is going back to work on Monday and I'm very worried I won't cope. Should I just give up and start on formula full time? He's already taking 100ml in the evening and I gave him 100ml at lunchtime then pumped 60ml because I couldn't face feeding him again. Is he not getting enough out of me?

OP posts:
Nquartz · 14/07/2018 19:06

It is v tough this early on, I remember it well! He is feeding so much because he's building up your supply. Unfortunately the more formula you give him the less milk you will produce as it is produced based on demand.

Also bottle feeding is easier so the more bottles he has the lazier he'll get on the boob.

Nipple shields can help with the pain but unfortunately he will want to carry on feeding this frequently for a few more weeks. If I remember correctly it settles down a bit around 6 weeks.

Nquartz · 14/07/2018 19:08

Also, if you want to carry on mixed feeding, give the bottles at different times, if it is the same time every day you'll stop producing milk at that time.

Nquartz · 14/07/2018 19:09

Sorry, one more thing, how is he with other people? I found DD settled really well with others but as soon as I held her she only wanted the boob presumably because I smelled like milk

userabcname · 14/07/2018 19:12

2-3 weeks was full of marathon cluster feeds and definitely the hardest phase of breastfeeding for me. I stuck it out and things improved. However, there is no shame in formula feeding - if that would be best for you then do it.

Mybabystolemysanity · 14/07/2018 19:21

The smelling milk on me seems to be a problem. I'm having to just feed then put him down and walk away which is horrible and making me feel like I'm just there for feeding and nothing else. Breastfeeding was supposed to help the bonding this time around (still struggling with DD at 18months and only just beginning to accept that DH is more of a mother to her than I'll ever be). Don't want to give up yet, but I feel like it's ruining the first few weeks and setting me up for crushing PND again. I know I'll feel like I've failed completely if I stop though.

Good idea about giving a bottle at different times. Will try.

OP posts:
ClaireFraser · 14/07/2018 19:42

Couple of things that spring to find mind first.

Has baby been checked for tongue tie by an IBLC qualified practitioner? TT becoming a common issue (links to folic acid, but obvs that's a v important thing to have taken during pregnancy, was more an aside comment for interest) and more common in boys. Has a massive impact on latch and pain free feeding. Enormous difference in both DD and DS post TT release.

Big growth spurt at this point too, hence lots feeding, baby 'putting an order in' for more milk so your body knows to make it.

If you don't already have one, get a wrap sling. Absolute lifesaver! Baby gets cuddles up to which they want, you get one hand free and ability to move around not tied to sofa, particularly important when DC2. Plus is possible to feed whilst baby in sling.

Can pick one up for £20ish. Victoria Slinglady website v helpful and affordable, but plenty out there.

Good luck! SmileThanksCake

AndromedaPerseus · 14/07/2018 20:13

What you’re describing is entirely normal but difficult to do when you’re in pain and with another child to care for. Agree with checking for TT

InFrance2014 · 15/07/2018 16:06

Hello, sorry to hear your troubles and that you already had PND and emotional difficulty with your first. If you've had PND before and are struggling now,I would advise you get some targetted support ASAP for yourself.
It sounds like there's two things going on: the pain, and the frequency of feeding.

For the first problem, even if uncomfortable feeding can be common, if your latch is still painful then you may be able to be improve a bit- trying different positioning can be a really big help, as well as your technique in getting in deep enough into their soft palate. I'd try changing posture so you are leaning well back to feed, and the baby is coming down slightly onto your boob, not being held straight onto it- they can get a bit deeper that way. And other postures too, whether rugby or lying down.

Regarding the frequency, two weeks old is extremely tiny and very frequent desire to nurse is totally normal, even for hours. They're right in the middle of learning how to be in the world, having growth spurts, and building up your milk supply as well as refining how they feed. They can just want to be sucking away, it's fine to offer three, four, five sides per feed. If you supplement, you will send signals to your breasts that they don;t need to make so much, and now is the time when he obviously wants it. You are very likely to be able to make enough milk for his needs, and your boobs can't run dry- just switch sides again.
But it's more than that: please don't think that the baby only needs you for food. Being close and having cuddles while BF is absolutely just as important. They want to be near your skin because they arrive bursting with desire and need to be with you, they love you already.
T
he pressure of the need to support a baby is immense and frightening when it doesn't go easily, and even just during tough times like this. You'll still be having birth hormones in you which makes everything feel even more intense, combined with the lack of sleep, and worry about DH returning to work.

Can you try having baby near you all the time by using a sling, you can still get stuff done, but he can have more cuddles and might not want to nurse as much if he's already in arms. You can learn to pop them back into the sling once they've dropped off to sleep.
And ask partner to help as much as possible to allow you much more sleep. For example, you should be able to get way more than 4 hours sleep per night even if it's very broken- go to bed very early, like 7-8 pm a few times a week, and ask partner to use the sling too while you're asleep, giving baby skin to skin cuddles, so you can sleep as much as possible. Same at weekends.
Good luck and do find out someone to talk to ASAP.

Mybabystolemysanity · 15/07/2018 20:11

Just want to say thanks so much to everyone who took the time to post. You're all very kind.

Had a complete breakdown last night and have taken the decision to shut up shop. I was finding the feeding so miserable that it wasn't the answer I thought it would be to avoiding the bonding issues this time round.

I've been able to give him a bottle and actually look right into his eyes and know I'm doing the right thing. Today has been the first day with no tears since he was born and I've been able to take both babies out and have a happy day today.

DS seems more content and DD is visibly more relaxed around me, as is poor DH who, as usual, has borne the brunt of my grief and unreasonableness. I know this is the right decision for me and for my little family. I feel peaceful for the first time since he was born.

We are having lots of cuddles and time in the sling. Crucially, DD can be involved too and is easier to be around as a consequence.

In an ideal world I'd have liked to have fed them both myself, but not at the expense of family life and sanity.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread