Should I try breastfeeding with DS2 or just sack the whole thing off?

[Terramirabilis]

So when DS 1 was born I attempted to breastfeed with pathetic results. Found it excruciatingly painful (and that was with the extremely recent memory of a long and also agonizing labor to compare with.) Could not get lactation specialist to come and see me while in hospital and although a nurse tried her best we were not able to get anywhere with it. So we went to formula 24 hours in and DH did 50% of all feeds from the start.

DS 2 due imminently. I'll be giving birth at a different hospital with completely different midwife etc. (I'm in the US and my insurance has changed since I had my last child so all of my medical providers are different.) I honestly cannot decide whether to put myself through trying again with potential for excruciating pain, mental distress, not being able to share night feeds. But I feel bad to not try, miss out on benefits of colostrum, possibility of it working out this time.

Anyone been in this position or have wisdom to share? I really don't know what to do.

Does your insurance cover Lactation consultants? If so I would have one appointment antenatally to talk about what happened last time and see what you can do this time, then have them in hospital ASAP after birth. If you don’t breastfeed you should still express colostrum (into a 5ml syringe, ask if your hospital stocks this and watch a video for how to do it) and give this to baby.

I would say why not try it and see how it goes. You can have a plan to move to formula if you have the same issues again, or plan to move to formula after colostrum feeds regardless.

Obviously if breastfeeding goes better this time then DH won't be doing 50% of the feeds, so is that something that you're ok with?

I’d try. I’ve breastfed all three of mine and they’ve been very different each time. My youngest was born with a perfect latch whereas my middle one lived to shred nipples for the first month.

Worth a try- you'll be wondering other wise.

Remember, milk doesn't come in until day four.

Good idea Theodore re having an antenatal appt with the lactation consultant. I'm pretty sure it is covered and I can check anyway. That's interesting to hear Fishy that it wasn't the same experience each time.

Www.kellymom.com is an excellent website.

I BFed both DC. Breastfed babies tend to lose a bit of weight to start with, so don't let that worry you too much.

Cluster feeding - totally normal. Babies feed All The Time. Including all night long to start with!

As long as baby has wet nappies, all should be fine. I did get hospitalised with mastitis second time around but got through it and still feeding DS2 at 2 years old!

Good luck

Yep. Desperately tried to breastfeed dc1, didn't make enough milk, he lost 20% birth weight, pumped and pumped, took medication - nothing. Was fully formula from 4 weeks. Suffered for a long time after with awful guilt.
Dc2, I decided that I would give t a go, but would absolutely not put myself through that again, and as soon as it looked like she was loosing too much weight I would quit.
Was readmitted after 3 days as dc2 had lost too much. Ended up mixed feeding for a few months then went to formula.
I'm glad I tried with dc2, but the difference was that the second time round I didn't put any pressure on myself. I think I knew by then that formula was absolutely fine!
You have to do what's right for you.

Hallo OP
I found breastfeeding really difficult with both of mine. The second time around was even more of a challenge at the start than with the first. I know this isn’t a positive way to start a reply but ... both of mine were tongue-tied and DC2 had jaw tightness from being jammed so far down in my pelvis so once we got that sorted out, it gradually (eventually) improved to the point of being pain free and an enjoyable way to care for my babies. With my second DC, I hand expressed colostrum into 1ml and 2ml syringes which I took into the delivery suite with me (I froze some of it and took some fresh).
DC2 is now 10 months and still breastfeeding.
I know BF or FF is an area for passionate debate. It is such an emotional question and the debate has become very polarised. Looking back, I think my mental health suffered a fair bit after both struggles with breastfeeding, especially with DC2 as DC1 was motherless at times as I was trying desperately to BF DC2 with bleeding, horribly misshapen nipples. (DC2 vomited up a table spoon of what turned out to be my blood at six days old and we panicked and took her to A&E, it was that bad.) Both times I felt that I absolute ‘had’ to breast feed, otherwise I wasn’t doing the right thing by my children. The pressure to BF seriously and negatively affected my enjoyment of the early weeks.
Despite all of this, I still would say try it a second time as you’ve nothing to lose by trying. Different baby, different latch, you have done it once already so know what’s involved.
I am not medical but have heard often that every drop helps the baby. Maybe try hand expressing colostrum if you can get hold of some syringes. If it brings back terrible memories or you think it is otherwise jeopardising the way in which you are bonding with your little one in a way which has to stop, then you feed your baby whichever way works for you in your situation in the knowledge that you gave it a shot and are doing the best for your baby and the rest of your family.
I hope it all goes well when the time comes.

Hi Op,
I didn't establish breastfeeding either so had to express at the beginning and switched to formula. DD is 9 months and I still struggle with the fact it didn't work out and how unprepared I felt given the fact I could of booked at LC in advance and got more support, beyond the limited support available in the U.K. The breastfeeding classes were of little use as well. The advice on here alone is amazing and again didn't know about this forum prior to and after the birth.
The funny thing now is, I actually feel more prepared, if we do have a DC 2 having followed this board for some months. So I think definitely give it a try as you'll always wonder. I personally haven't found FF easy as my little girl has developed CMPA obviously this can happen in breastfeeding but the stress of switching formula's first lactose and then a CMPA formula has been stressful in itself. You've got these amazing breastfeeding mummies to help online plus getting all the support in advance including batch cooking meals and getting your DH to help with some of the housework instead, when he's not looking after DC1 (as you'll need to rest and establish breastfeeding)

Good luck and congratulations I really hope it all goes well x

I had a similarly bad experience breastfeeding DS1. I had a long induction followed by emcs and he had to be given formula for medical reasons during the first few days. I persevered a bit but my nipples were cracked and bleeding, it was very painful and he seemed to vastly prefer the bottles so he was solely formula fed after the first couple of weeks.

I thought I'd give bf a go with DS2 but was fully expecting a similar experience. It was actually completely different and he is still ebf (with food) at 8.5 months. We had a slightly shaky start - he was a jaundiced, sleepy newborn and lost 11% of his birthweight so needed a few formula top ups in the early days. It was painful for the first couple of weeks - that toe curling pain when they latch on - but that vanished completely. I had no issues with cracked nipples at all. So it has been very straightforward and I'm very glad I tried.

It hasn't been all wonderful - it is wearing to be responsible for every feed (he's refused bottles since 10 days old) and I didn't realise how often small babies want to bf - hourly at first! I was used to formula feeding at 3-4 hour intervals! I do feel DS1 was ignored a bit as I was feeding so often in the early days. But on the flip side we all got proper flu over the winter and DS2 only had a bit of a sniffly cold, so I put that down to receiving the antibodies in my milk.

I think there's no harm in giving it a go (only if you want to) and seeing how it is, with the knowledge that formula is a perfectly acceptable option if you decide it's best.

If you want to try, go for it. Don't put yourself under any pressure, no one will care how they were fed when they're ten.

I had a similar experience with my first, it was awful and I was devastated not to have fed for long, but I just couldn't continue. I now know that he had a horrible latch that looked right from the outside and wasn't removing the milk properly resulting in bleeding nipples and mastitis three times in as many weeks.

With DS2 I said I'd try, it wasn't willing to put myself through the pain if it wasn't going well. As it turned out, he had a perfect latch from the get go and I fed him problem free for three and a half years, until he self weaned.

Congrats on your imminent arrival and good luck xx

But not it!