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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

9 month old clawing me while feeding!

10 replies

User24689 · 04/07/2018 08:15

My 9 month old DS has always been quite physical - he is a big boy (in 12-18 month clothes) and very strong. He has always had a thing for pulling hair and since he was quite young he will yank on my hair when he is hungry or tired and mouth my face... Which has become quite uncomfortable since he got his 2 bottom teeth!

I have always held his top hand when feeding him and tucked the bottom one under my arm, as he sort of mindlessly flails and scrabbles with his fingers while he nurses. I used to just find it a bit annoying and found keeping his hands still settled him, but recently he has started tugging his hand away and crying when I hold his hand, it really seems to frustrate him. He now seems only to be able to feed if that top hand is exploring and he will grab hard at my face and hair, stick his fingers up my nose, in my eyes... It is doing my head in! One thing that he does if I stop him or try to hold him still is bite down on my nipple and drag backwards which is so painful. So basically the first five minutes of each feed is this writhing scrap between us until he settles in and gets sleepy.

Is this a phase? Any tips? He won't take a bottle at all so I exclusively feed him and he feeds to sleep so I am often feeding him when he is really tired which is probably the problem. I have found that if I say "No" he will stop, but then I get a lip wobble and a huge cry which has really surprised me -its like he thinks I'm angry with him, but he seems too young to comprehend that!

OP posts:
whatwouldnigellado · 04/07/2018 08:19

I have no advice but am in the same position! Hair, face, clothes...anything he can grab and claw at whilst feeding! I wondered if it was a balance thing but he doesn't want his hand held so don't think it's that. It drives me bonkers!

Juells · 04/07/2018 08:21

I'd be bottle feeding from now on. You don't have to be a punch bag. He's old enough to be weaned.

Others may have better advice, but I wouldn't have the patience for that kind of shit.

Spudlet · 04/07/2018 08:25

When ds got rough I used to pop him straight off and plonk him down, with a firm 'no'. Instant cause and effect - biting mummy = removal of milk. (I would of course then pick him up and give it another go). As many times as necessary until he was gentle.

CLB1234 · 04/07/2018 08:27

Have you tried wrapping him up? Big muslin or sheet (too hot for blanket) like a swaddle so he can't get out, hold him tightly so he feel safe and snuggled. My DD used to hold on but DS likes to explore and sometimes when it gets too bad I wrap him and it helps

Spudlet · 04/07/2018 08:30

Oh yes, I also wore one of those teething necklaces or a big chunky string of beads so he had something to fiddle with that wasn't me. And when he was younger, I put long socks over his hands to act as scratch mitts - he could take them off at 9 months though!

He is old enough to know when you are unhappy, and can associate cause and effect if it's immediate, just like a puppy. So let him be aware that you don't want to be bitten.

User24689 · 04/07/2018 08:35

Thanks all. I will try the feeding necklace and the putting him down thing. I think I need to get a bit firmer with him! He has never tolerated being swaddled or wrapped so don't think that will work but thanks for the suggestion!

Juells I agree with you and I am losing my shit tbh but he will not take a bottle at all - Been trying since he was 4 months! And I can't take him off milk altogether at 9 months. Annoyingly he will take water from a bottle but not milk!?!

OP posts:
Juells · 04/07/2018 08:43

When I was breastfeeding (many years ago) my LO was so greedy that she'd get very frustrated with how slowly water or milk came out of the nipple. I had to get back to work, so she had to be able to be bottle fed during the day. I found the only way was to make the hole in the nipple ginormous so the milk came out at the same rate as from the breast nipple. Weaning, when I eventually did it, was very painfree - my milk dried up over the course of three days or so. I guess the milk supply had started to dry up from not feeding during the day.

I know some people will consider me a monster, and there's probably all sorts of reasons why what I did was 'a bad thing' but there was no way my baby would have been getting enough milk from a bottle otherwise. She'd have screamed the house down.

indiddo · 04/07/2018 09:35

I'd be bottle feeding from now on. You don't have to be a punch bag. He's old enough to be weaned.

What an unhelpful, anti-breastfeeding comment @Juells** Don't you know the benefits of breastfeeding older babies?

OP, definitely try a feeding necklace. Or try and get him to hold on to your bra strap or a small soft toy. Well done on getting this far. It's hard work as they get older!

londonloves · 04/07/2018 10:46

Hate to say it but bottle feeding won't necessarily fix this (although I get that there's less bare flesh with bottle feeding). My nine month old does this while feeding, while being rocked to sleep and being held - hair pulling, pinching, face grabbing. It's driving me nuts. I don't really want to be saying "no" to him all the time so I'm trying to remove his hand and say "gently" instead but it's not really working. Interested in any suggestions too...

Juells · 04/07/2018 12:46

@indiddo
What an unhelpful, anti-breastfeeding comment @Juells Don't you know the benefits of breastfeeding older babies?

How is it anti-breastfeeding? I breastfed, I enjoyed it, but I wouldn't do it if I was being hurt. Are we all supposed to be like proselytising martyrs encouraging other mothers to keep on breastfeeding no matter what? I'm entitled to offer a different opinion.

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