Breastfeeding misery

[bettydraper31]

DD is 8 weeks, I also have a 3 yr old DD who I breastfed for a few weeks then switched to formula. I always felt guilty for jacking it in so was determined to BF DD2. I wish I’d never bothered!!! It’s been nothing but a nightmare. I’m STILL having pain no matter what I try. I’ve been to all the groups including the ones not in my area, had a LC confirm no TT, taken her to cranial osteopath but still no change. Everyone says her latch looks perfect, “textbook” I’ve been told.

I got so fed up a few weeks ago I tried formula but I’ve created a boob snob, she won’t take a bottle (well, she will but only after crying for ten minutes desperately trying to get her to take it) which is no fun for anyone!! She then screams afterwards for the boob anyway.

I do enjoy bf for the closeness and convenience but I just can’t get it right.

I don’t really know what I’m asking for but just need to vent x

Vent away OP. Establishing bf is really, really hard. I'm finding it harder second time around as like you I have an older DC and I'm missing out on time with them as 5 week old just wants to snack ALL THE TIME!!!

I'm not even in pain and bf is doing my head in, and I EBF DC1 for 12 months.

I can totally see why you want to switch, sorry I have no advice on how to do it though.

Where's the pain? Is it your nipples? Presume you've tried shields?

Is the pain getting worse, or staying the same? Have you tried lots of different positions? Is the pain the same with all positions?

As Bucket said, nipple shields may help give your nipples a chance to recover.

Could you try expressing to get your baby to accept the bottle more readily? My daughter refused a bottle from the very beginning, so at 6 months when i had to stop bfing as my milk was making her reflux worse; i just went cold turkey and when she was hungry enough she finally accepted a minbie bottle and we've never looked back.

Hi,

Thank you both for you replies. The pain is directly on my nipples, I just can’t get the nipple far back in dds mouth. LC said no TT and I can’t afford to get another one out for a second opinion.

I can cope with with everything else just about but the discomfort just makes it unenjoyable. X

If you think the pain I should being caused by a shallow latch, see if this video will help

I’d also suggest talking to a BFC in the morning on one of the Bfing Helplines. They will probably have sone more suggestions and will be able to help you come to a decision on whether you want to continue or switch.

*pain is being caused by

I had a lovely BF volunteer come out to me for free. I second trying a helpline in the morning. It shouldn't hurt. Here's La Leche League and there are other helplines too.

Is your baby gaining weight fine?

My baby's latch was 'perfect' too. Oh the pain. I was seen by a BF consultant, various BF and baby support groups, and more HVs that I can remember before one spotted a posterior tongue tie. I can recommend a great bf expert in south London if you are vaguely nearby. Private but still a lot cheaper than formula, she released the tongue tie and gave lots of support afterwards to help re-establish supply and remove the pain. Completely worth it. I headed straight there with second DC too.

My daughter is a new mum and cannot breast feed her baby. He is a lazy feeder and her body won't let him latch. She pumps full time and bottle feeds him with it. Feeding herself was really high on her list of importance. It IS a lot of work but she and the baby are doing well on it.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/s/ref=nbsbbssii0_8?k=hydrogel+breast+discs&sprefix=hydrogel&crid=3TWLYGE8VTG2D

(Link is for hydrogel breast discs on amazon)

Try these, they definitely help with nipple pain, they are miracle workers!

It sounds like you ARE doing it right! Just keep going - it’ll just slowly get easier and easier then one day you’ll realise it wasn’t painful.
Babies mouth is growing - your nipples don’t - hence the latch gets easier every day they get bigger
Try nipple shields and also ask pharmacist for thrush cream just in case you have thrush on your boobs (it’s not always visible but can cause pain).
It’ll get easier - you’re doing a great job. Just think how much you’d regret it again if you jacked it in now when you’ve done 90% of the hard work getting it going!

Thanks everyone- I managed to see someone at the infant feeding team at my hospital who found she DOES have a posterior tongue tie, despite the private (and costly) LC telling me she doesn’t. We are booked in to have it cut on Tues. I really hope we can now move forward, as I’m still in utter agony and baby is just feeding constantly!! X

That's great you have a diagnosis OP! And fabulous that you have an appointment for Tuesday. You are probably counting down the feeds/hours (I was!).

Nobody should be in utter agony. There is more to being a mum. There is far far too much pressure on new mums to breastfeed. I think it's awful.

I couldn't breastfeed, neither could my sisters, mum or my aunt. We range in age from 52 to 83 and all our adult children are perfectly healthy.

I feel so sorry for you. I had mastitis, my nipples were bleeding, my child was starving. A gorgeous midwife noticed I was struggling one morning at about 4 am when my baby was 3/4 days old.

She was an angel. She told me that the nurses were not allowed to suggest any alternatives. After a very supportive chat I asked for a bottle. My baby and myself never looked back. He's 21 now and extremely healthy and drop dead gorgeous!

Trust your instincts. Give yourself a break tonight. If breastfeeding shut down for one evening and never ever started again the human race wouldn't survive.

You are a mum doing her best. There isn't only one way to be a mum.

Thinking about you x