Will breastfeeding ever become less painful?

[Mybabystolemysanity]

Two days down with a baby boy and second attempt at breastfeeding. Feeling exactly the same as my first child.

Currently mopping up the tears after another agonising feeding session. He's been on the boob all day today.

His latch is perfect, he's not tongue tied and when it finally comes, I think I'll have plenty of milk. It's painful but bearable for the next few days, but not weeks.

Tell me it will be ok once he's not working so hard for milk?

Aw congratulations OP!
Yes it bloody hurts for a week then a bit sore for another week but keep at it and you will be glad you did. Oh and practice feeding lying down once you get the hang of it - you will get loads more rest!
Enjoy your beautiful perfect baby xxxx

PS: if you go for formula then you go for formula - it's really not the most important thing - more important that your perfect baby has a happy mum! XX

Oh Everyone! Thank you!

The sore side is a bit broken down. We just managed to do both sides though! Has taken since 12.40, but we managed! Nappy change helped. He is also jaundiced and the midwives I now realise were confusing sleepiness with contentment between feeds. He's just burped up and there's milk in it. He must be getting something! Now his eyes are open and he looks alert. Blood sugars up a bit, maybe?

He was still rooting so I gave him some formula I opened before I started the breastfeed. Took 15mls. Hate doing it but he seems to be full now. Hopefully he won't confuse nipples and bottle teat in 15 MLS?

Will do first aid and have a cuddle til about 5 and try again? There's no proper advice from the community midwife either and not at 3am for definite. I'd love to put him on again but I need a break. I'm sore.

You and he made me feel a tiny bit better

Hi OP, firstly congratulations!

Please don't worry about using formula! My 8 week old DS was born via CS and lost 13% of his birth weight. Thankfully I had extremely supportive midwifes who explained that CS babies can loose that little bit more in the beginning as they tend to bring up a lot of mucus the first day or two that normally would have been squeezed out of them on route down the birth canal. So you haven't failed! Just keep feeding!

We used 2 formula feeds in the first 24 hours to give him a boost because the colostrum just wasn't enough. Again my midwife said it was the best decision I made at that point, baby needed it to gain energy in order wake up and feed later on!

Just pop baby on the boob when they next show cues for feeding, one or two formula feeds shouldn't impact this but you need to get them feeding as much as you can in the first few days to stimulate your supply!

Also don't be surprised if your milk takes an extra day to come in, mine did due to CS.

It was a couple of weeks before my boobs settled down and stopped hurting with DD2 (I think it was similar with DD1). I was on the verge of going to formula it was so painful but then one day I realised it was fine. My nipples were cracked and blood blistered at their worst, I just kept applying nipple cream when I could/remembered.
I'm sorry you've had such a rubbish time, the midwives were rubbish when I had DD1 so I can empathise to an extent , I also suffered from PND. I'm sure you know the 'mantra' by now but try to be kind to yourself. If you need to do a top up feed with formula, do it. In the long run it'll help you heal and help your baby put weight back on.

I found breastfeeding so painful for the first 3-6 weeks for all of my babies. I suffered with vasospasm which is a stinging sore pain on latch. It does pass.

Just keep at it, stick the baby on as much as you and he want and slather yourself in lansinoh. Hot compresses on your boobs helps the milk flow.

You’re doing amazingly, this is not easy, I’ve had three babies now and I’ve fed for years on end and I still found the first weeks hard. It’s not uou, it’s just how it is. Once it settles down you’ll be amazed just how easy it is.

It is SO hard at the start, but it settles down after a few weeks and you'll feel much better. I used a plastic cap to ease the pain, can you access one? It really made a world of difference for me!

Nope. Think the decision is made.

DH has videoed our last feed so I can send it to the hospital to show them how they left me. Is ugly to watch.

Going to make the switch to formula because in the long run, I can't realistically carry on feeding him and take care of my older child without tearing myself apart. I can look into both their eyes and know they had every last scrap of energy I had in the days after they were born.

You've all been so very kind giving me a hand hold when nobody else was there. Thanks every single one of you who took the time to post xx

Hi OP, bf or formula or a combo of the two are all reasonable decisions.

I noticed you posted at 6.30 after posting at 3. You had quite a positive post then a really down one. You’re fucking knackered and you’re really sore and this is taking up your headspace. It’s shit and I really feel for you. I was the same and instead of sleeping when I could I’d be googling sore boobs and when does it get easier. I wish I’d just bloody slept. A video of our early feeds would not have pretty - me sore, baby on and off etc. I’m not sure what it is you’re planning to do with the video but it’s sounds like it’s giving you a bit of peace of mind to have captured it. I was in first few weeks frequently giving up in middle of night...😬. I’m not saying you should keep going too (and I only had my baby not a toddler) only that I know how you feel. I loathed everything that said if it’s sore you’re not doing it right and my friends who had done it all said that’s rubbish.

my health visitor (not midwife) helped a little, local support group a little and private lactation consultant a lot. It should pass, but getting there, knackered, in pain (and with another child) is REALLY hard. You don’t need to make a decision to go all or one way just now whilst knackered, equally making the decision may give you sense of relief.

I hope you’re getting some support, you’re doing an amazing job! As you say every ounce of energy. Hope you’re feeling better soon.

(Deep Breath....)

Okay... Turns out I can't walk away from it just yet. Decided to try nipple shields. What a difference! I'm still achey, but it's bearable.

Will keep going just now, probably with a view to mix feeding or maybe an expressed bottle if we're going out or I need to leave him.

Let's get through this evening and overnight now...

Well done OP.

Honestly, if you do end up mixed feeding or wholly FF, it's not the end of the world. Hopefully you will get some better support from your community midwife and then HV

Good stuff. I was regularly thinking of giving up in the wee hours for first few weeks, it’s a bleak time of day in any circs! first 6-8 weeks v v sore (for me) and difficult being solely responsible for their nutrition, then it’s great (for me, 9 months in). You said baby had lost 10% are midwives monitoring with weighing every second day? Lots of wet and dirty nappies?

Well done OP! I’m on day 11 myself with my second DD. Not as sore now than I was in the first week, but still fresh enough in my memory to make me wince!

It’s tiring, exhausting but worth knowing that you are trying your damn hardest .

I thought one was hard, 2 is a handful

Wishing you luck over the next few hours whatever method.

I'm still here! He's been on boob all afternoon! Mostly just lying there with his mouth full, but there's milk! Had a nice wet nappy so something must be going in. My God, I need to sleep though!

Your posts from last night and today are so familiar! My DS is 6 months old now but I remember that rollercoaster so well from the early days. I lost count of how many times I said I was quitting breast feeding, but I always talked myself out of quitting in the end. The lactation consultant I saw told me that it was always better by 6 weeks so that became my aim, but I know that seems like forever away right now.

You're doing brilliantly, and I'm glad to hear nipple shields are helping. And that your lovely DS is having wet nappies! Hope you manage to get a bit of sleep tonight.

Oooowwwwch!

I'm starting to feel as if I've been run over.

Blood pressure is up, swollen, boobs are like boulders. Baby has nursed for two hours and still taken formula, so bleeding loads and my head hurts.

I really have to question if I can sustain this for another six weeks. Do I even want to? It's pretty lonely and painful nursing for hours on end at night. His Dad did the formula and he went out like a light. I'm not sure I want to go round like a half demented zombie when I could have given him the milk, had a cuddle and a smell of his head and gone back to sleep.

Will see how I feel in the morning.

The lanolin cream never worked for me. Motherlove nipple cream was fabulous and I had it delivered via Amazon prime. It saved me.

You are really tired and your hormones are all over the place right now as you will be going through what they sometimes refer to the baby blues period (days 2-5).

What helped me was having someone who can bring you the baby when it needs feeding and then take care of the rest so you can sleep. If the baby is crying they can walk the baby. When I got engorged a hot shower really helped me get more comfortable.

Keep going it will get easier!! Your milks just coming in hence the giant painful boobs, mine were horrific. I got some painful lumps in mine while my milk settled down, if they get sore get in the shower and run hot water over them while massaging them it really helps. Also massaging the lump while baby fed helped to unblock the milk duct.

8 weeks in now and my boobs only get sore if he's had an expressed feed from earlier in the day so I miss a feed.

If you start feeling unwell and boobs get sore it could be the beginnings of mastitis so keep an eye on that.

You need to keep feeding for those first few days to get your milk established but after that you can start to express off feeds that your DH can give them which will give you a break. They say not to introduce a bottle until 6 weeks incase they get nipple confusion and to establish your supply but I found this untrue for us. DS had a bottle every day and a soother from 1 week old and has never been confused!

It's really tough right now but remember it's not forever, you will sleep again. You're doing so well!

Congratulations on your new bundle! I'm sorry you've got off to a rocky start, you sound like a very strong and determined lady though.

I had totally forgotten how hard I found the first couple of weeks of feeding with my second. After a night of pure hell I drove us in tears to Boots to wait for it to open and bought about everything I could to try and help. Multimam compresses and medela shields were an absolute lifesaver, and I didn't need them for too long either, we just needed that bit of extra time to get used to nursing.

Also, can you safely set up to lay down and nurse so you can sleep at same time?

I persevered to learn to feed whilst tiny was in a sling this time so I could do things with my eldest at same time.

I have sadly never found the midwives or health visitors I've had be any help with breastfeeding, quite the opposite. The lady who runs our sling library along with the peer supporters at our children's centre breastfeeding group have been the ones in the know here.

Again, sorry you've had such a tough few days, but you really sound like you're doing a fantastic job xx

Back on the bottle this morning. Blood dripping from one nipple when I got out the shower and it just hurts to nurse on the other side. I'm getting no support from DH in terms of getting up at night if I continue to try and breastfeed. Had to DH up to take baby this morning while I tried to sort my blood pressure (vision gone, headache, worried sick they will make me go back to hospital), and he's just been complaining he's had not enough sleep.

Baby has had near 7ounces this morning, so there's no way he can be getting enough out of me. If he was to get enough, I'd never be able to go out the house. I'm also neglecting the older one and if I'm not trailing round picking up after everyone we'll all be wearing dirty clothes and eating off paper plates.

I'm just exhausted and I can't just enjoy my baby. I thought I had managed to disengage the endless internal monologue of failure I'd had since DD was born, but perhaps not.

It doesn't sound like the latch is right. Call your midwife/HV and ask them for help. Having a bit of formula so you can get some sleep isn't the end of the world.

Your DH needs a stern talking to. It's paternity leave and not vacation. It's important to be clear about this because many OHs who are complaining about exhaustion during the first 2 weeks are the ones who think maternity leave gives them permission to sit back and do nothing. Give him the baby, some formula and get some sleep.

You are not a failure. You are tired and in pain. Get some rest. Also, to be clear your DH can source/prepare the formula while you sleep.

While you are sleeping have him order this stuff.